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Message: <blockquote data-quote="moreluck" data-source="post: 689721" data-attributes="member: 1246">Heaviest Element Yet Known to Science Discovered - Read very carefully     Heaviest Element Yet Known to Science DiscoveredLawrence Livermore National Laboratory in California has now identified with certainty the heaviest element known to science. The new element, Pelosium (PL), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Pelosium is inert, and has no charge and no magnetism. Nevertheless, it can be detected because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A tiny amount of Pelosium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second, to take from 4 days to 4 years to complete. Pelosium has a normal half-life of 2 years. It does not decay, but instead undergoes a biennial reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. Pelosium mass will increase over time, since each reorganization will promote many morons to become isodopes. This characteristic of maroon promotion leads some scientists to believe that Pelosium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass. When catalyzed with money, Pelosium becomes Senatorium, an element that radiates just as much energy as Pelosium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.   Very important information has just been made public:  The Centers for Disease Control has issued a warning about a new virulent strain of this disease. The disease is called Gonorrhea Lectim. It's pronounced "Gonna re-elect 'I'm."  The disease is contracted through dangerous and high-risk behavior involving putting your cranium up your rectum. Many victims contracted it in 2008 but now, most people after having been infected for the past 1-2 years, are starting to realize how destructive this disease is. It can be cured easily with a new procedure finally coming on the market called "Vo-tem-out"  You take the first dose in 2010 and the second dosage in 2012 and simply don't engage in such behavior again; otherwise, it could become permanent and eventually wipe out all life as we know it. Virginia, New Jersey, and Massachusetts have participated in the early clinical trials and found "Vo-tem-out" very effective. Many more states are clamoring to participate in these trials.    </blockquote>

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