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Life After Brown
Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
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<blockquote data-quote="moreluck" data-source="post: 720343" data-attributes="member: 1246"><p>: <strong><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: #000080">THE CHALLENGED SENIOR</span></span></strong></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">When I think "I can relate to some of these things....What about my poor wife??????????????</span></p><p></p><p></p><p><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">I thought about the 36 year business I ran with 1,800 employees, all without a Blackberry that played music, </span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">took videos, pictures and communicated with Facebook and Twitter.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">I signed up under duress for Twitter and Facebook, so my seven kids, their spouses, </span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">13 grandkids and 2 great grand kids could communicate with me in the modern way. </span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">I figured I could handle something as simple as Twitter with only 140 characters of space.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">That was before one of my grandkids hooked me up for Tweeter, Tweetree, Twhirl, </span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">Twitterfon, Tweetie and Twitterrific Tweetdeck, Twitpix and something that sends </span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">every message to my cell phone and every other program within the texting world.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">My phone was beeping every three minutes with the details of everything except the </span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">bowel movements of the entire next generation. I am not ready to live like this. </span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">I now keep my cell phone in the garage in my golf bag.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">The kids bought me a GPS for my last birthday because they say I get lost </span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">every now and then going over to the grocery store or library. </span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">I keep that in a box under my tool bench with the red Blue tooth phone thing </span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">I am supposed to use when I drive. I wore it once and was standing in line at </span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">Barnes and Noble talking to my wife. Everyone within 50 yards was glaring at me. </span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">Seems I have to take my hearing aid out to use it and I got a little loud.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">The GPS looked pretty smart on my dash board, but the lady inside was the most </span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">annoying, rudest person I had run into in a long time.. Every 10 minutes, she would </span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">sarcastically say, "Re-calc-ul-ating" You would think that she could be nicer. </span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">It was like she could barely tolerate me. She would let go with a deep sigh and then </span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">tell me to make a U-turn at the next light. </span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">Then when I would make a right turn instead, things got . . well .. . . it was not good..</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">When I get really lost now, I call my wife and tell her the name of the cross streets </span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">and while she is starting to develop the same tone as Gypsy, the GPS lady, at least she loves me.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">To be perfectly frank, I am still trying to learn how to use the cordless phones in our house. </span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">We've had them for 4 years, but I still haven't figured out how my wife can lose three phones </span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">all at once and I have to run around digging under chair cushions and checking bathrooms and the </span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">dirty laundry baskets when the phone rings.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">The world is just getting too complex for me. They even mess me up every time I go to the grocery store. </span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">You would think they could settle on something themselves but this sudden "Paper or Plastic?" every time </span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">I check out just knocks me for a loop.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">I bought some of those cloth reusable bags to avoid looking confused but I never remember to take them in with me.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">Now I toss it back to them.. </span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">When they ask me, "Paper or Plastic?" I just say, "Doesn't matter to me. I'm bi-sacksual."</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: #000000">Then it's their turn to stare at me with a blank look.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="moreluck, post: 720343, member: 1246"] : [B][SIZE=5][COLOR=#000080]THE CHALLENGED SENIOR[/COLOR][/SIZE][/B] [FONT=Comic Sans MS]When I think "I can relate to some of these things....What about my poor wife??????????????[/FONT] [COLOR=#000000][FONT=Arial][FONT=Comic Sans MS]I thought about the 36 year business I ran with 1,800 employees, all without a Blackberry that played music, [/FONT][/FONT][/COLOR] [FONT=Arial] [COLOR=#000000][FONT=Comic Sans MS]took videos, pictures and communicated with Facebook and Twitter.[/FONT][/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Arial] [COLOR=#000000][FONT=Comic Sans MS]I signed up under duress for Twitter and Facebook, so my seven kids, their spouses, [/FONT][/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Arial] [COLOR=#000000][FONT=Comic Sans MS]13 grandkids and 2 great grand kids could communicate with me in the modern way. [/FONT][/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Arial] [COLOR=#000000][FONT=Comic Sans MS]I figured I could handle something as simple as Twitter with only 140 characters of space.[/FONT][/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Arial] [COLOR=#000000][FONT=Comic Sans MS]That was before one of my grandkids hooked me up for Tweeter, Tweetree, Twhirl, [/FONT][/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Arial] [COLOR=#000000][FONT=Comic Sans MS]Twitterfon, Tweetie and Twitterrific Tweetdeck, Twitpix and something that sends [/FONT][/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Arial] [COLOR=#000000][FONT=Comic Sans MS]every message to my cell phone and every other program within the texting world.[/FONT][/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Arial] [COLOR=#000000][FONT=Comic Sans MS]My phone was beeping every three minutes with the details of everything except the [/FONT][/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Arial] [COLOR=#000000][FONT=Comic Sans MS]bowel movements of the entire next generation. I am not ready to live like this. [/FONT][/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Arial] [COLOR=#000000][FONT=Comic Sans MS]I now keep my cell phone in the garage in my golf bag.[/FONT][/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Arial] [COLOR=#000000][FONT=Comic Sans MS]The kids bought me a GPS for my last birthday because they say I get lost [/FONT][/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Arial] [COLOR=#000000][FONT=Comic Sans MS]every now and then going over to the grocery store or library. [/FONT][/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Arial] [COLOR=#000000][FONT=Comic Sans MS]I keep that in a box under my tool bench with the red Blue tooth phone thing [/FONT][/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Arial] [COLOR=#000000][FONT=Comic Sans MS]I am supposed to use when I drive. I wore it once and was standing in line at [/FONT][/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Arial] [COLOR=#000000][FONT=Comic Sans MS]Barnes and Noble talking to my wife. Everyone within 50 yards was glaring at me. [/FONT][/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Arial] [COLOR=#000000][FONT=Comic Sans MS]Seems I have to take my hearing aid out to use it and I got a little loud.[/FONT][/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Arial] [COLOR=#000000][FONT=Comic Sans MS]The GPS looked pretty smart on my dash board, but the lady inside was the most [/FONT][/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Arial] [COLOR=#000000][FONT=Comic Sans MS]annoying, rudest person I had run into in a long time.. Every 10 minutes, she would [/FONT][/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Arial] [COLOR=#000000][FONT=Comic Sans MS]sarcastically say, "Re-calc-ul-ating" You would think that she could be nicer. [/FONT][/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Arial] [COLOR=#000000][FONT=Comic Sans MS]It was like she could barely tolerate me. She would let go with a deep sigh and then [/FONT][/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Arial] [COLOR=#000000][FONT=Comic Sans MS]tell me to make a U-turn at the next light. [/FONT][/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Arial] [COLOR=#000000][FONT=Comic Sans MS]Then when I would make a right turn instead, things got . . well .. . . it was not good..[/FONT][/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Arial] [COLOR=#000000][FONT=Comic Sans MS]When I get really lost now, I call my wife and tell her the name of the cross streets [/FONT][/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Arial] [COLOR=#000000][FONT=Comic Sans MS]and while she is starting to develop the same tone as Gypsy, the GPS lady, at least she loves me.[/FONT][/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Arial] [COLOR=#000000][FONT=Comic Sans MS]To be perfectly frank, I am still trying to learn how to use the cordless phones in our house. [/FONT][/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Arial] [COLOR=#000000][FONT=Comic Sans MS]We've had them for 4 years, but I still haven't figured out how my wife can lose three phones [/FONT][/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Arial] [COLOR=#000000][FONT=Comic Sans MS]all at once and I have to run around digging under chair cushions and checking bathrooms and the [/FONT][/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Arial] [COLOR=#000000][FONT=Comic Sans MS]dirty laundry baskets when the phone rings.[/FONT][/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Arial] [COLOR=#000000][FONT=Comic Sans MS]The world is just getting too complex for me. They even mess me up every time I go to the grocery store. [/FONT][/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Arial] [COLOR=#000000][FONT=Comic Sans MS]You would think they could settle on something themselves but this sudden "Paper or Plastic?" every time [/FONT][/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Arial] [COLOR=#000000][FONT=Comic Sans MS]I check out just knocks me for a loop.[/FONT][/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Arial] [COLOR=#000000][FONT=Comic Sans MS]I bought some of those cloth reusable bags to avoid looking confused but I never remember to take them in with me.[/FONT][/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Arial] [COLOR=#000000][FONT=Comic Sans MS]Now I toss it back to them.. [/FONT][/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Arial] [COLOR=#000000][FONT=Comic Sans MS]When they ask me, "Paper or Plastic?" I just say, "Doesn't matter to me. I'm bi-sacksual."[/FONT][/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=#000000]Then it's their turn to stare at me with a blank look.[/COLOR][/FONT][/FONT] [FONT=Arial] [/FONT] [/QUOTE]
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Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
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