Home
Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
Latest activity
Members
Current visitors
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Home
Forums
Brown Cafe UPS Forum
Life After Brown
Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="moreluck" data-source="post: 743756" data-attributes="member: 1246"><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 22px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><strong>Married Too Long?</strong></span></span></span></strong></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping the channels.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">She asked, 'What's on TV?'</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">I said, 'Dust.'</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">And then the fight started...</span></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">===============================================</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 200 in about 3seconds.'</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">I bought her a scale.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">And then the fight started...</span></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">===============================================</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">expensive - so I took her to a gas station...</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">And then the fight started....</span></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">===============================================</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearbytable.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">My wife asked, ' Do you know her?'</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend.. I understand she took to</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">hasn't been sober since.'</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">'My God!' says my wife, 'who would think a person could go on celebrating</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">that long?'</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">And then the fight started...</span></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">================================================</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">verify my age I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">and come back later.</span></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'.</span></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, 'That</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and s he processed my</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">Social Security application.</span></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">Security office. She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">have gotten disability, too'</span></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">And then the fight started.....</span></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">================================================</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old,</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'</span></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'</span></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">And then the fight started.</span></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">================================================</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">first."I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please." He said, "Aren't you</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">worried about the mad cow?" "Nah, she can order for herself."</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">And then the fight started..... </span></span></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="moreluck, post: 743756, member: 1246"] [B][FONT=Arial][SIZE=6][FONT=Arial][B]Married Too Long?[/B][/FONT][/SIZE][/FONT][/B] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=2][FONT=Comic Sans MS]My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping the channels.[/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][FONT=Comic Sans MS]She asked, 'What's on TV?'[/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][FONT=Comic Sans MS]I said, 'Dust.'[/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][FONT=Comic Sans MS]And then the fight started...[/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][FONT=Comic Sans MS]===============================================[/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][FONT=Comic Sans MS]My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.[/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][FONT=Comic Sans MS]She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 200 in about 3seconds.'[/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][FONT=Comic Sans MS]I bought her a scale.[/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][FONT=Comic Sans MS]And then the fight started...[/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][FONT=Comic Sans MS]===============================================[/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][FONT=Comic Sans MS]When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace[/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][FONT=Comic Sans MS]expensive - so I took her to a gas station...[/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][FONT=Comic Sans MS]And then the fight started....[/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][FONT=Comic Sans MS]===============================================[/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][FONT=Comic Sans MS]My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept[/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][FONT=Comic Sans MS]staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearbytable.[/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][FONT=Comic Sans MS]My wife asked, ' Do you know her?'[/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][FONT=Comic Sans MS]'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend.. I understand she took to[/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][FONT=Comic Sans MS]drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she[/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][FONT=Comic Sans MS]hasn't been sober since.'[/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][FONT=Comic Sans MS]'My God!' says my wife, 'who would think a person could go on celebrating[/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][FONT=Comic Sans MS]that long?'[/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][FONT=Comic Sans MS]And then the fight started...[/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][FONT=Comic Sans MS]================================================[/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][FONT=Comic Sans MS]After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social[/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][FONT=Comic Sans MS]Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to[/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][FONT=Comic Sans MS]verify my age I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at[/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][FONT=Comic Sans MS]home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home[/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][FONT=Comic Sans MS]and come back later.[/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][FONT=Comic Sans MS]The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'.[/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][FONT=Comic Sans MS]So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, 'That[/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][FONT=Comic Sans MS]silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and s he processed my[/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][FONT=Comic Sans MS]Social Security application.[/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][FONT=Comic Sans MS]When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social[/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][FONT=Comic Sans MS]Security office. She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might[/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][FONT=Comic Sans MS]have gotten disability, too'[/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][FONT=Comic Sans MS]And then the fight started.....[/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][FONT=Comic Sans MS]================================================[/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][FONT=Comic Sans MS]A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy[/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][FONT=Comic Sans MS]with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old,[/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][FONT=Comic Sans MS]fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'[/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][FONT=Comic Sans MS]The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'[/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][FONT=Comic Sans MS]And then the fight started.[/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][FONT=Comic Sans MS]================================================[/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][FONT=Comic Sans MS]I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order[/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][FONT=Comic Sans MS]first."I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please." He said, "Aren't you[/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][FONT=Comic Sans MS]worried about the mad cow?" "Nah, she can order for herself."[/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][FONT=Comic Sans MS]And then the fight started..... [/FONT][/SIZE][/FONT] [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Home
Forums
Brown Cafe UPS Forum
Life After Brown
Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
Top
