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Life After Brown
Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
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<blockquote data-quote="moreluck" data-source="post: 765516" data-attributes="member: 1246"><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">PREGNANCY DICTIONARY..........</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">Afterbirth--when the hard part begins.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">Cravings--an excuse to gluttonize your way through pregnancy.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">Dilation--one of those things a pregnant woman has to take her doctor's word for.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">Elastiphobia--fear of making it into the Guinness Book of World Records for "Most Stretch Marks."</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">First Trimester--the first three months of pregnancy when you wonder, "Is it too late to hire a surrogate mother?"</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">Maternity Clothes--what a pregnant woman wears to show people there's a reason she's fat.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">Miracle--1 the birth of a baby. 2 The fact that you lived to tell about it.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">Obstetrician--the doctor who tells you you're doing fine when you think you're caught in the jaws of death.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">Pregnant Pause--the amount of time it takes for a nine-month pregnant woman to get out of a chair.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">Prenatal--when your life was still your own.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">Pushing--the final effort to get a ten-pound baby through an opening the size of a dime.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">Second Trimester--the time when you ask the question, "Will my husband notice if I eat this gallon of ice cream and side of beef before he gets home?"</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">Third Trimester--the final months of pregnancy when you wonder, "How much longer can I keep from waddling?" </span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="moreluck, post: 765516, member: 1246"] [FONT=Times New Roman]PREGNANCY DICTIONARY.......... Afterbirth--when the hard part begins. Cravings--an excuse to gluttonize your way through pregnancy. Dilation--one of those things a pregnant woman has to take her doctor's word for. Elastiphobia--fear of making it into the Guinness Book of World Records for "Most Stretch Marks." First Trimester--the first three months of pregnancy when you wonder, "Is it too late to hire a surrogate mother?" Maternity Clothes--what a pregnant woman wears to show people there's a reason she's fat. Miracle--1 the birth of a baby. 2 The fact that you lived to tell about it. Obstetrician--the doctor who tells you you're doing fine when you think you're caught in the jaws of death. Pregnant Pause--the amount of time it takes for a nine-month pregnant woman to get out of a chair. Prenatal--when your life was still your own. Pushing--the final effort to get a ten-pound baby through an opening the size of a dime. Second Trimester--the time when you ask the question, "Will my husband notice if I eat this gallon of ice cream and side of beef before he gets home?" Third Trimester--the final months of pregnancy when you wonder, "How much longer can I keep from waddling?" [/FONT] [/QUOTE]
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Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
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