Home
Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
Latest activity
Members
Current visitors
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Home
Forums
Brown Cafe UPS Forum
Life After Brown
Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="moreluck" data-source="post: 773645" data-attributes="member: 1246"><p><span style="color: maroon"><span style="font-family: 'Duchess'"><strong>The best "I'm not available" messages.......</strong></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="color: maroon"><span style="font-family: 'Duchess'"><strong>1. I am currently out of the office at a job interview and will reply to you</strong></span></span></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Duchess'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: maroon"><span style="color: maroon"><span style="font-family: 'Duchess'"><strong> if I fail to get the position. Please be prepared for my mood.</strong></span></span></span></span></span></strong></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Duchess'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: maroon"><span style="color: maroon"><span style="font-family: 'Duchess'"><strong> 2. You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the</strong></span></span></span></span></span></strong></p><p></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Duchess'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: maroon"><span style="color: maroon"><span style="font-family: 'Duchess'"><strong> office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have received anything at all.</strong></span></span></span></span></span></strong></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Duchess'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: maroon"><span style="color: maroon"><span style="font-family: 'Duchess'"><strong> 3. Sorry to have missed you, but I'm at the doctor's having my brain and</strong></span></span></span></span></span></strong></p><p></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Duchess'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: maroon"><span style="color: maroon"><span style="font-family: 'Duchess'"><strong> heart removed so I can be promoted to our management team.</strong></span></span></span></span></span></strong></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Duchess'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: maroon"><span style="color: maroon"><span style="font-family: 'Duchess'"><strong> 4. I will be unable to delete all the emails you send me until I return from</strong></span></span></span></span></span></strong></p><p></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Duchess'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: maroon"><span style="color: maroon"><span style="font-family: 'Duchess'"><strong> vacation. Please be patient, and your mail will be deleted in the order it was</strong></span></span></span></span></span></strong></p><p></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Duchess'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: maroon"><span style="color: maroon"><span style="font-family: 'Duchess'"><strong> received.</strong></span></span></span></span></span></strong></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Duchess'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: maroon"><span style="color: maroon"><span style="font-family: 'Duchess'"><strong> 5. Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the</strong></span></span></span></span></span></strong></p><p></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Duchess'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: maroon"><span style="color: maroon"><span style="font-family: 'Duchess'"><strong> first 10 words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.</strong></span></span></span></span></span></strong></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Duchess'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: maroon"><span style="color: maroon"><span style="font-family: 'Duchess'"><strong> 6. The email server is unable to verify your server connection. Your message</strong></span></span></span></span></span></strong></p><p></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Duchess'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: maroon"><span style="color: maroon"><span style="font-family: 'Duchess'"><strong> has not been delivered. Please restart your computer and try sending again.</strong></span></span></span></span></span></strong></p><p></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Duchess'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: maroon"><span style="color: maroon"><span style="font-family: 'Duchess'"><strong> (The beauty of this is that when you return, you can see who did this over</strong></span></span></span></span></span></strong></p><p></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Duchess'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: maroon"><span style="color: maroon"><span style="font-family: 'Duchess'"><strong> and over and over....)</strong></span></span></span></span></span></strong></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Duchess'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: maroon"><span style="color: maroon"><span style="font-family: 'Duchess'"><strong> 7. Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system.</strong></span></span></span></span></span></strong></p><p></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Duchess'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: maroon"><span style="color: maroon"><span style="font-family: 'Duchess'"><strong> You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in</strong></span></span></span></span></span></strong></p><p></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Duchess'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: maroon"><span style="color: maroon"><span style="font-family: 'Duchess'"><strong> approximately 19 weeks.</strong></span></span></span></span></span></strong></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Duchess'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: maroon"><span style="color: maroon"><span style="font-family: 'Duchess'"><strong> 8. Hi, I'm thinking about what you've just sent me. Please wait by your PC</strong></span></span></span></span></span></strong></p><p></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Duchess'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: maroon"><span style="color: maroon"><span style="font-family: 'Duchess'"><strong> for my response.</strong></span></span></span></span></span></strong></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Duchess'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: maroon"><span style="color: maroon"><span style="font-family: 'Duchess'"><strong> 9. I've run away to join a different circus.</strong></span></span></span></span></span></strong></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Duchess'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: maroon"><span style="color: maroon"><span style="font-family: 'Duchess'"><strong>10. I will be out of the office for the next two weeks for medical reasons.</strong></span></span></span></span></span></strong></p><p></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Duchess'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: maroon"><span style="color: maroon"><span style="font-family: 'Duchess'"><strong> When I return, please refer to me as 'Lucille' instead of Steve.</strong></span></span></span></span></span></strong></p><p></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="moreluck, post: 773645, member: 1246"] [COLOR=maroon][FONT=Duchess][B]The best "I'm not available" messages.......[/B][/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=maroon][FONT=Duchess][B][/B][/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=maroon][FONT=Duchess][B]1. I am currently out of the office at a job interview and will reply to you[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][B][FONT=Formal][SIZE=5][COLOR=purple][COLOR=purple][FONT=Formal][B][/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Duchess][SIZE=4][COLOR=maroon][COLOR=maroon][FONT=Duchess][B] if I fail to get the position. Please be prepared for my mood.[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][B][FONT=Formal][SIZE=5][COLOR=purple][COLOR=purple][FONT=Formal][B][/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Formal][SIZE=5][COLOR=purple][COLOR=purple][FONT=Formal][B] [/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Duchess][SIZE=4][COLOR=maroon][COLOR=maroon][FONT=Duchess][B] 2. You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][B][FONT=Formal][SIZE=5][COLOR=purple][COLOR=purple][FONT=Formal][B][/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Duchess][SIZE=4][COLOR=maroon][COLOR=maroon][FONT=Duchess][B] office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have received anything at all.[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][B][FONT=Formal][SIZE=5][COLOR=purple][COLOR=purple][FONT=Formal][B][/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Formal][SIZE=5][COLOR=purple][COLOR=purple][FONT=Formal][B] [/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Duchess][SIZE=4][COLOR=maroon][COLOR=maroon][FONT=Duchess][B] 3. Sorry to have missed you, but I'm at the doctor's having my brain and[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][B][FONT=Formal][SIZE=5][COLOR=purple][COLOR=purple][FONT=Formal][B][/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Duchess][SIZE=4][COLOR=maroon][COLOR=maroon][FONT=Duchess][B] heart removed so I can be promoted to our management team.[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][B][FONT=Formal][SIZE=5][COLOR=purple][COLOR=purple][FONT=Formal][B][/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Formal][SIZE=5][COLOR=purple][COLOR=purple][FONT=Formal][B] [/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Duchess][SIZE=4][COLOR=maroon][COLOR=maroon][FONT=Duchess][B] 4. I will be unable to delete all the emails you send me until I return from[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][B][FONT=Formal][SIZE=5][COLOR=purple][COLOR=purple][FONT=Formal][B][/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Duchess][SIZE=4][COLOR=maroon][COLOR=maroon][FONT=Duchess][B] vacation. Please be patient, and your mail will be deleted in the order it was[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][B][FONT=Formal][SIZE=5][COLOR=purple][COLOR=purple][FONT=Formal][B][/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Duchess][SIZE=4][COLOR=maroon][COLOR=maroon][FONT=Duchess][B] received.[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][B][FONT=Formal][SIZE=5][COLOR=purple][COLOR=purple][FONT=Formal][B][/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Formal][SIZE=5][COLOR=purple][COLOR=purple][FONT=Formal][B] [/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Duchess][SIZE=4][COLOR=maroon][COLOR=maroon][FONT=Duchess][B] 5. Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][B][FONT=Formal][SIZE=5][COLOR=purple][COLOR=purple][FONT=Formal][B][/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Duchess][SIZE=4][COLOR=maroon][COLOR=maroon][FONT=Duchess][B] first 10 words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][B][FONT=Formal][SIZE=5][COLOR=purple][COLOR=purple][FONT=Formal][B][/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Formal][SIZE=5][COLOR=purple][COLOR=purple][FONT=Formal][B] [/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Duchess][SIZE=4][COLOR=maroon][COLOR=maroon][FONT=Duchess][B] 6. The email server is unable to verify your server connection. Your message[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][B][FONT=Formal][SIZE=5][COLOR=purple][COLOR=purple][FONT=Formal][B][/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Duchess][SIZE=4][COLOR=maroon][COLOR=maroon][FONT=Duchess][B] has not been delivered. Please restart your computer and try sending again.[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][B][FONT=Formal][SIZE=5][COLOR=purple][COLOR=purple][FONT=Formal][B][/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Duchess][SIZE=4][COLOR=maroon][COLOR=maroon][FONT=Duchess][B] (The beauty of this is that when you return, you can see who did this over[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][B][FONT=Formal][SIZE=5][COLOR=purple][COLOR=purple][FONT=Formal][B][/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Duchess][SIZE=4][COLOR=maroon][COLOR=maroon][FONT=Duchess][B] and over and over....)[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][B][FONT=Formal][SIZE=5][COLOR=purple][COLOR=purple][FONT=Formal][B][/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Formal][SIZE=5][COLOR=purple][COLOR=purple][FONT=Formal][B] [/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Duchess][SIZE=4][COLOR=maroon][COLOR=maroon][FONT=Duchess][B] 7. Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system.[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][B][FONT=Formal][SIZE=5][COLOR=purple][COLOR=purple][FONT=Formal][B][/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Duchess][SIZE=4][COLOR=maroon][COLOR=maroon][FONT=Duchess][B] You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][B][FONT=Formal][SIZE=5][COLOR=purple][COLOR=purple][FONT=Formal][B][/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Duchess][SIZE=4][COLOR=maroon][COLOR=maroon][FONT=Duchess][B] approximately 19 weeks.[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][B][FONT=Formal][SIZE=5][COLOR=purple][COLOR=purple][FONT=Formal][B][/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Formal][SIZE=5][COLOR=purple][COLOR=purple][FONT=Formal][B] [/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Duchess][SIZE=4][COLOR=maroon][COLOR=maroon][FONT=Duchess][B] 8. Hi, I'm thinking about what you've just sent me. Please wait by your PC[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][B][FONT=Formal][SIZE=5][COLOR=purple][COLOR=purple][FONT=Formal][B][/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Duchess][SIZE=4][COLOR=maroon][COLOR=maroon][FONT=Duchess][B] for my response.[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][B][FONT=Formal][SIZE=5][COLOR=purple][COLOR=purple][FONT=Formal][B][/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Formal][SIZE=5][COLOR=purple][COLOR=purple][FONT=Formal][B] [/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Duchess][SIZE=4][COLOR=maroon][COLOR=maroon][FONT=Duchess][B] 9. I've run away to join a different circus.[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][B][FONT=Formal][SIZE=5][COLOR=purple][COLOR=purple][FONT=Formal][B][/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Formal][SIZE=5][COLOR=purple][COLOR=purple][FONT=Formal][B] [/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Duchess][SIZE=4][COLOR=maroon][COLOR=maroon][FONT=Duchess][B]10. I will be out of the office for the next two weeks for medical reasons.[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][B][FONT=Formal][SIZE=5][COLOR=purple][COLOR=purple][FONT=Formal][B][/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Duchess][SIZE=4][COLOR=maroon][COLOR=maroon][FONT=Duchess][B] When I return, please refer to me as 'Lucille' instead of Steve.[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][B][FONT=Formal][SIZE=5][COLOR=purple][COLOR=purple][FONT=Formal][B][/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Formal][SIZE=5][COLOR=purple][COLOR=purple][FONT=Formal][B] [/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B] [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Home
Forums
Brown Cafe UPS Forum
Life After Brown
Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
Top
