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Life After Brown
Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
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<blockquote data-quote="moreluck" data-source="post: 865895" data-attributes="member: 1246"><p><strong>One Liners / Some old, some new..............................................</strong></p><p><strong></strong></p><p><strong></strong></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-size: 15px">My neighbor knocked on my door at 2:30 am this morning, can you</span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-size: 15px">believe that..... 2:30am?! Luckily for him I was still up playing my</span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-size: 15px">Bagpipes.</span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-size: 15px">Man calls 911 and says "I think my wife is dead" The operator says</span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-size: 15px">how do you know? He says "The sex is the same but the laundry is building</span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-size: 15px">up!"</span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-size: 15px">I was in bed with a blind girl last night and she said that I had the</span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-size: 15px">biggest penis she had ever laid her hands on. I said "You're pulling my</span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-size: 15px">leg."</span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-size: 15px">I saw a poor old lady fall over today on the ice!! At least I presume</span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-size: 15px">she was poor - she only had $1.20 in her purse.</span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-size: 15px">My girlfriend thinks that I'm a stalker. Well, she's not exactly my</span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-size: 15px">girlfriend yet.</span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-size: 15px">Went for my routine check up today and everything seemed to be going</span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-size: 15px">fine until he stuck his index finger up my ass! Do you think I should</span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-size: 15px">change dentists?</span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-size: 15px">A wife says to her husband you're always pushing me around and</span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-size: 15px">talking behind my back. He says, "What do you expect? You're in a wheel</span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-size: 15px">chair!"</span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-size: 15px">I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get</span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-size: 15px">reincarnated but must come back as a different creature. She said she</span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-size: 15px">would like to come back as a cow. I said, "You're obviously not</span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-size: 15px">listening. "</span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-size: 15px">The wife has been missing a week now. Police said to prepare for the</span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-size: 15px">worst. So I have been to the thrift shop to get all her clothes back.</span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: #000000"></span></span></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="moreluck, post: 865895, member: 1246"] [B]One Liners / Some old, some new.............................................. [/B] [FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=#000000][SIZE=4]My neighbor knocked on my door at 2:30 am this morning, can you believe that..... 2:30am?! Luckily for him I was still up playing my Bagpipes. Man calls 911 and says "I think my wife is dead" The operator says how do you know? He says "The sex is the same but the laundry is building up!" I was in bed with a blind girl last night and she said that I had the biggest penis she had ever laid her hands on. I said "You're pulling my leg." I saw a poor old lady fall over today on the ice!! At least I presume she was poor - she only had $1.20 in her purse. My girlfriend thinks that I'm a stalker. Well, she's not exactly my girlfriend yet. Went for my routine check up today and everything seemed to be going fine until he stuck his index finger up my ass! Do you think I should change dentists? A wife says to her husband you're always pushing me around and talking behind my back. He says, "What do you expect? You're in a wheel chair!" I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get reincarnated but must come back as a different creature. She said she would like to come back as a cow. I said, "You're obviously not listening. " The wife has been missing a week now. Police said to prepare for the worst. So I have been to the thrift shop to get all her clothes back.[/SIZE] [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [/QUOTE]
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