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Life After Brown
Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
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<blockquote data-quote="PT Stewie" data-source="post: 883275" data-attributes="member: 12889"><p><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">Subject: Older Than Dirt</span></span></p><p><strong><span style="color: blue"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">THOUGHT YOU MIGHT ENJOY THIS ...</span></span></strong><strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">..</span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: blue"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">'Someone asked the other day, 'What was your favorite fast food when you were growing up?'</span></span></strong> </p><p><strong><span style="color: blue"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">'We didn't have fast food when I was growing up,' I informed him.</span></span></strong> </p><p><strong><span style="color: blue"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">'All the food was slow.' </span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: blue"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></span></strong><strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">'C'mon, seriously. Where did you eat?'</span></span></strong> </p><p><strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">'It was a place called 'at home,'' I explained!</span></span></strong> </p><p><strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">'Mom cooked every day and when Dad got home from work, we sat down together at the dining room table, and if I didn't like what she put on my plate I was allowed to sit there until I did like it.'</span></span></strong> </p><p><strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></span></strong><strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">By this time, the kid was laughing so hard I was afraid he was going to suffer serious internal damage, so I didn't tell him the part about how I had to have permission to leave the table.</span></span></strong> </p><p><strong><span style="color: green"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">But here are some other things I would have told him about my childhood if I figured his system could have handled it :</span></span></strong> </p><p><strong><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">Some parents NEVER owned their own house, never wore</span></span></strong><strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"> Levis, never set foot on a golf course, never traveled out of the country or had a credit card.</span></span></strong> </p><p><strong><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">In their later years they had something called a revolving charge card. The card was good only at</span></span></strong><strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"> Sears Roebuck. Or maybe it was Sears & Roebuck.<strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"> </span></strong>Either way, there is no Roebuck anymore. Maybe he died.</span></span></strong> </p><p><strong><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></span></strong><strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">My parents never drove me to soccer practice. This was mostly because we never had heard of soccer. I had a bicycle that weighed probably 50 pounds, and only had one speed, (slow). We didn't have a television in our house until I was 19. It was, of course, black and white, and the station went off the air at midnight, after playing the national anthem and a poem about God; it came back on the air at about 6 a.m. and there was usually a locally produced news and farm show on, featuring local people.</span></span></strong> </p><p><strong><span style="color: purple"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: purple"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></span></strong><strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">I was 21 before I tasted my first pizza, it was called 'pizza pie.'<strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"> </span></strong>When I bit into it, I burned the roof of my mouth and the cheese slid off, swung down, plastered itself against my chin and burned that, too. It's still the best pizza I ever had.</span></span></strong> </p><p><strong><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></span></strong><strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">I never had a telephone in my room.</span></span></strong> </p><p><strong><span style="color: maroon"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">The only phone in the house was in the living room and it was on a party line. Before you could dial, you had to listen and make sure some people you didn't know weren't already using the line.</span></span></strong> </p><p><strong><span style="color: blue"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">Pizzas were not delivered to our home but milk was.</span></span></strong> </p><p><strong><span style="color: green"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">All newspapers were delivered by boys and all boys delivered newspapers -- </span></span></strong><strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">my brother delivered a newspaper, six days a week. It cost 7 cents a paper, of which he got to keep 2 cents. He had to get up at 6AM every morning.</span></span></strong> </p><p><strong><span style="color: green"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">On Saturday, he had to collect the 42 cents from his customers. His favorite customers were the ones who gave him 50 cents and told him to keep the change. His least favorite customers were the ones who seemed to never be home on collection day.</span></span></strong> </p><p><strong><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">Movie stars kissed with their mouths shut. At least, they did in the movies. There were no movie ratings because all movies were responsibly produced for everyone to enjoy viewing, without profanity or violence or most anything offensive.</span></span></strong> </p><p><strong><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></span></strong><strong><em><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">If you grew up in a generation before there was fast food, you may want to share some of these memories with your children or grandchildren. Just don't blame me if they bust a gut laughing.</span></span></em></strong> </p><p><strong><span style="color: purple"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: purple"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">Growing up isn't what it used to be, is it?</span></span></strong> </p><p><strong><span style="color: maroon"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">MEMORIES from a friend :</span></span></strong> </p><p><strong><span style="color: purple"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">My Dad is cleaning out my grandmother's house (she died in December) and he brought me an old Royal Crown Cola bottle. In the bottle top was a stopper with a bunch of holes in it.. I knew immediately what it was, but my daughter had no idea. She thought they had tried to make it a salt shaker or something. I knew it as the bottle that sat on the end of the ironing board to 'sprinkle' clothes with because we didn't have steam irons. Man, I am old.</span></span></strong> </p><p><strong><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">How many do you remember?</span></span></strong> </p><p><strong><span style="color: maroon"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">Head lights dimmer switches on the floor.</span></span></strong><strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">Ignition switches on the dashboard.</span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">Heaters mounted on the inside of the fire wall.</span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">Real ice boxes.</span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">Pant leg clips for bicycles without chain guards. </span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">Soldering irons you heat on a gas burner.</span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">Using hand signals for cars without turn signals. </span></span></strong><strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></span></strong><strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">Older Than Dirt Quiz :</span></span></strong> </p><p><strong><span style="color: purple"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">Count all the ones that you remember not the ones you were told about.</span></span></strong> </p><p><strong><span style="color: purple"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">Ratings at the bottom.</span></span></strong> </p><p><strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">1. Blackjack chewing gum</span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></span></strong><strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">2.Wax Coke-shaped bottles with colored sugar water </span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">3. Candy cigarettes</span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">4. Soda pop machines that dispensed glass bottles </span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">5. Coffee shops or diners with tableside juke boxes </span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">6. Home milk delivery in glass bottles with cardboard stoppers </span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">7. Party lines on the telephone</span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">8. Newsreels before the movie </span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">9. P.friend. Flyers</span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">10. Butch wax </span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">11. TV test patterns that came on at night after the last show and were there until TV shows started again in the morning. (there were only 3 channels... [if you were fortunate])</span></span></strong> <strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">12. Peashooters </span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">13. Howdy Doody </span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">14. 45 RPM records </span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">15. S& H greenstamps </span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">16. Hi-fi's</span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">17. Metal ice trays with lever </span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">18. Mimeograph paper</span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">19. Blue flashbulb</span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">20. Packards</span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">21. Roller skate keys</span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">22. Cork popguns </span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">23. Drive-ins</span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">24. Studebakers</span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">25. Wash tub wringers </span></span></strong><strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></span></strong><strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">If you remembered 0-5 = You're still young</span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">If you remembered 6-10 = You are getting older </span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">If you remembered 11-15 = Don't tell your age,</span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">If you remembered 16-25 = You're older than dirt!</span></span></strong> </p><p><strong><span style="color: maroon"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: maroon"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></span></strong><strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">I might be older than dirt but those memories are some of the best parts of my life.</span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">Don't forget to pass this along!! </span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">Especially to all your really OLD friends....</span></span></strong> </p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="PT Stewie, post: 883275, member: 12889"] [COLOR=black][FONT=Arial]Subject: Older Than Dirt[/FONT][/COLOR] [B][COLOR=blue][FONT=Arial]THOUGHT YOU MIGHT ENJOY THIS ...[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial]..[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial][/FONT][/COLOR] [B][COLOR=blue][FONT=Arial]'Someone asked the other day, 'What was your favorite fast food when you were growing up?'[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial] [/FONT][/COLOR] [B][COLOR=blue][FONT=Arial]'We didn't have fast food when I was growing up,' I informed him.[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial] [/FONT][/COLOR] [B][COLOR=blue][FONT=Arial]'All the food was slow.' [/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial]'C'mon, seriously. Where did you eat?'[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial] [/FONT][/COLOR] [B][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial]'It was a place called 'at home,'' I explained![/FONT][/COLOR][/B][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial] [/FONT][/COLOR] [B][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial]'Mom cooked every day and when Dad got home from work, we sat down together at the dining room table, and if I didn't like what she put on my plate I was allowed to sit there until I did like it.'[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial] [/FONT][/COLOR] [B][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial] [/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial]By this time, the kid was laughing so hard I was afraid he was going to suffer serious internal damage, so I didn't tell him the part about how I had to have permission to leave the table.[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial] [/FONT][/COLOR] [B][COLOR=green][FONT=Arial]But here are some other things I would have told him about my childhood if I figured his system could have handled it :[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial] [/FONT][/COLOR] [B][COLOR=navy][FONT=Arial]Some parents NEVER owned their own house, never wore[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial] Levis, never set foot on a golf course, never traveled out of the country or had a credit card.[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial] [/FONT][/COLOR] [B][COLOR=navy][FONT=Arial]In their later years they had something called a revolving charge card. The card was good only at[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial] Sears Roebuck. Or maybe it was Sears & Roebuck.[B][FONT=Arial] [/FONT][/B]Either way, there is no Roebuck anymore. Maybe he died.[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial] [/FONT][/COLOR] [B][COLOR=navy][FONT=Arial] [/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial]My parents never drove me to soccer practice. This was mostly because we never had heard of soccer. I had a bicycle that weighed probably 50 pounds, and only had one speed, (slow). We didn't have a television in our house until I was 19. It was, of course, black and white, and the station went off the air at midnight, after playing the national anthem and a poem about God; it came back on the air at about 6 a.m. and there was usually a locally produced news and farm show on, featuring local people.[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial] [/FONT][/COLOR] [B][COLOR=purple][FONT=Arial] [/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial]I was 21 before I tasted my first pizza, it was called 'pizza pie.'[B][FONT=Arial] [/FONT][/B]When I bit into it, I burned the roof of my mouth and the cheese slid off, swung down, plastered itself against my chin and burned that, too. It's still the best pizza I ever had.[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial] [/FONT][/COLOR] [B][COLOR=red][FONT=Arial] [/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial]I never had a telephone in my room.[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial] [/FONT][/COLOR] [B][COLOR=maroon][FONT=Arial]The only phone in the house was in the living room and it was on a party line. Before you could dial, you had to listen and make sure some people you didn't know weren't already using the line.[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial] [/FONT][/COLOR] [B][COLOR=blue][FONT=Arial]Pizzas were not delivered to our home but milk was.[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial] [/FONT][/COLOR] [B][COLOR=green][FONT=Arial]All newspapers were delivered by boys and all boys delivered newspapers -- [/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial]my brother delivered a newspaper, six days a week. It cost 7 cents a paper, of which he got to keep 2 cents. He had to get up at 6AM every morning.[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial] [/FONT][/COLOR] [B][COLOR=green][FONT=Arial]On Saturday, he had to collect the 42 cents from his customers. His favorite customers were the ones who gave him 50 cents and told him to keep the change. His least favorite customers were the ones who seemed to never be home on collection day.[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial] [/FONT][/COLOR] [B][COLOR=navy][FONT=Arial]Movie stars kissed with their mouths shut. At least, they did in the movies. There were no movie ratings because all movies were responsibly produced for everyone to enjoy viewing, without profanity or violence or most anything offensive.[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial] [/FONT][/COLOR] [B][COLOR=navy][FONT=Arial] [/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][I][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial]If you grew up in a generation before there was fast food, you may want to share some of these memories with your children or grandchildren. Just don't blame me if they bust a gut laughing.[/FONT][/COLOR][/I][/B][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial] [/FONT][/COLOR] [B][COLOR=purple][FONT=Arial] Growing up isn't what it used to be, is it?[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial] [/FONT][/COLOR] [B][COLOR=maroon][FONT=Arial]MEMORIES from a friend :[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial] [/FONT][/COLOR] [B][COLOR=purple][FONT=Arial]My Dad is cleaning out my grandmother's house (she died in December) and he brought me an old Royal Crown Cola bottle. In the bottle top was a stopper with a bunch of holes in it.. I knew immediately what it was, but my daughter had no idea. She thought they had tried to make it a salt shaker or something. I knew it as the bottle that sat on the end of the ironing board to 'sprinkle' clothes with because we didn't have steam irons. Man, I am old.[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial] [/FONT][/COLOR] [B][COLOR=red][FONT=Arial]How many do you remember?[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial] [/FONT][/COLOR] [B][COLOR=maroon][FONT=Arial]Head lights dimmer switches on the floor.[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial] Ignition switches on the dashboard. Heaters mounted on the inside of the fire wall. Real ice boxes. Pant leg clips for bicycles without chain guards. Soldering irons you heat on a gas burner. Using hand signals for cars without turn signals. [/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial] [/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial] Older Than Dirt Quiz :[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial] [/FONT][/COLOR] [B][COLOR=purple][FONT=Arial]Count all the ones that you remember not the ones you were told about.[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial] [/FONT][/COLOR] [B][COLOR=purple][FONT=Arial]Ratings at the bottom.[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial] [/FONT][/COLOR] [B][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial]1. Blackjack chewing gum [/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial]2.Wax Coke-shaped bottles with colored sugar water 3. Candy cigarettes 4. Soda pop machines that dispensed glass bottles 5. Coffee shops or diners with tableside juke boxes 6. Home milk delivery in glass bottles with cardboard stoppers 7. Party lines on the telephone 8. Newsreels before the movie 9. P.friend. Flyers 10. Butch wax 11. TV test patterns that came on at night after the last show and were there until TV shows started again in the morning. (there were only 3 channels... [if you were fortunate])[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial] [/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial] 12. Peashooters 13. Howdy Doody 14. 45 RPM records 15. S& H greenstamps 16. Hi-fi's 17. Metal ice trays with lever 18. Mimeograph paper 19. Blue flashbulb 20. Packards 21. Roller skate keys 22. Cork popguns 23. Drive-ins 24. Studebakers 25. Wash tub wringers [/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial] [/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial]If you remembered 0-5 = You're still young If you remembered 6-10 = You are getting older If you remembered 11-15 = Don't tell your age, If you remembered 16-25 = You're older than dirt![/FONT][/COLOR][/B][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial] [/FONT][/COLOR] [B][COLOR=maroon][FONT=Arial] [/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial]I might be older than dirt but those memories are some of the best parts of my life. Don't forget to pass this along!! Especially to all your really OLD friends....[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial] [/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Arial] [/FONT][/COLOR] [/QUOTE]
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Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
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