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Life After Brown
Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
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<blockquote data-quote="moreluck" data-source="post: 908940" data-attributes="member: 1246"><p>Sometimes, inappropriate is just plain funny.............</p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">I was in bed with a blind girl last night and she said that I had the biggest penis she had ever laid her hands on. I said, "You're pulling my leg."</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: olive"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: olive"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">I saw a poor old lady fall over today on the ice. At least I presume she was poor - she only had $1.20 in her purse.</span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">My girlfriend thinks that I'm a stalker. Well, she's not exactly my girlfriend yet.</span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: olive"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: olive"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">Went for my routine check-up today and everything seemed to be going fine until he stuck his index finger up my butt! Do you think I should change dentists?</span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">A wife says to her husband you're always pushing me around and talking behind my back. He says, “What do you expect? You're in a wheel chair.”</span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: olive"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: olive"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get reincarnated but must come back as a different creature. She said she would like to come back as a cow. I said, "You're obviously not listening.</span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">The wife has been missing a week now. Police said to prepare for the worst. So, I’ve been to the thrift shop to get all of her clothes back.</span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: olive"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: olive"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">At the Senior Citizens Center they had a contest the other day. I lost by one point: The question was: Where do women mostly have curly hair? Apparently the correct answer was Africa.</span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">One of the other questions that I missed was to name one thing commonly found in cells. It appears that Mexicans is not the correct answer either.</span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: olive"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: olive"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">There's a new Muslim clothing shop opened in our shopping center, but I've been banned from it after asking to look at some of the new bomber jackets.</span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">You can say lots of bad things about pedophiles but at least they drive slowly past schools.</span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: olive"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: olive"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">A buddy of mine has just told me he's getting it on with his girlfriend and her twin. I said, "How can you tell them apart?" He said, "Her brother's got a moustache."</span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">Just put a deposit down on a brand new Porsche and mentioned it on Facebook. I said, "I can't wait for the new 911 to arrive!" Next thing I know 4,000 friend....g Muslims have added me as a friend!</span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">Being a modest man, when I checked </span></span></span></span><span style="color: olive"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: olive"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">into my hotel on a recent trip, I said to the lady at the registration desk,"I hope the porn channel in my room is disabled." To which she replied, "No, it's regular people-porn, you sick bastard.”</span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">The Red Cross just knocked at our door and asked if we could help towards the floods in Pakistan. I said we would love to, but our garden hose only reaches the driveway.</span></span></span></span></span></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="moreluck, post: 908940, member: 1246"] Sometimes, inappropriate is just plain funny............. [FONT=times new roman][COLOR=#000000][FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=black][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=black][FONT=Comic Sans MS]I was in bed with a blind girl last night and she said that I had the biggest penis she had ever laid her hands on. I said, "You're pulling my leg."[/FONT][/COLOR][/FONT][/COLOR][/FONT][/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=times new roman] [FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=olive][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=olive][FONT=Comic Sans MS]I saw a poor old lady fall over today on the ice. At least I presume she was poor - she only had $1.20 in her purse.[/FONT][/COLOR][/FONT][/COLOR][/FONT][/FONT] [FONT=times new roman] [FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=black][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=black][FONT=Comic Sans MS]My girlfriend thinks that I'm a stalker. Well, she's not exactly my girlfriend yet.[/FONT][/COLOR][/FONT][/COLOR][/FONT][/FONT] [FONT=times new roman] [FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=olive][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=olive][FONT=Comic Sans MS]Went for my routine check-up today and everything seemed to be going fine until he stuck his index finger up my butt! Do you think I should change dentists?[/FONT][/COLOR][/FONT][/COLOR][/FONT][/FONT] [FONT=times new roman] [FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=black][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=black][FONT=Comic Sans MS]A wife says to her husband you're always pushing me around and talking behind my back. He says, “What do you expect? You're in a wheel chair.”[/FONT][/COLOR][/FONT][/COLOR][/FONT][/FONT] [FONT=times new roman] [FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=olive][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=olive][FONT=Comic Sans MS]I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get reincarnated but must come back as a different creature. She said she would like to come back as a cow. I said, "You're obviously not listening.[/FONT][/COLOR][/FONT][/COLOR][/FONT][/FONT] [FONT=times new roman][FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=olive][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=olive][FONT=Comic Sans MS][/FONT][/COLOR][/FONT][/COLOR][/FONT][/FONT] [FONT=times new roman][FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=black][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=black][FONT=Comic Sans MS]The wife has been missing a week now. Police said to prepare for the worst. So, I’ve been to the thrift shop to get all of her clothes back.[/FONT][/COLOR][/FONT][/COLOR][/FONT][/FONT] [FONT=times new roman] [FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=olive][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=olive][FONT=Comic Sans MS]At the Senior Citizens Center they had a contest the other day. I lost by one point: The question was: Where do women mostly have curly hair? Apparently the correct answer was Africa.[/FONT][/COLOR][/FONT][/COLOR][/FONT][/FONT] [FONT=times new roman][FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=olive][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=olive][FONT=Comic Sans MS][/FONT][/COLOR][/FONT][/COLOR][/FONT][/FONT] [FONT=times new roman][FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=black][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=black][FONT=Comic Sans MS]One of the other questions that I missed was to name one thing commonly found in cells. It appears that Mexicans is not the correct answer either.[/FONT][/COLOR][/FONT][/COLOR][/FONT][/FONT] [FONT=times new roman][FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=black][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=black][FONT=Comic Sans MS][/FONT][/COLOR][/FONT][/COLOR][/FONT][/FONT] [FONT=times new roman][FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=olive][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=olive][FONT=Comic Sans MS]There's a new Muslim clothing shop opened in our shopping center, but I've been banned from it after asking to look at some of the new bomber jackets.[/FONT][/COLOR][/FONT][/COLOR][/FONT][/FONT] [FONT=times new roman] [FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=black][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=black][FONT=Comic Sans MS]You can say lots of bad things about pedophiles but at least they drive slowly past schools.[/FONT][/COLOR][/FONT][/COLOR][/FONT][/FONT] [FONT=times new roman] [FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=olive][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=olive][FONT=Comic Sans MS]A buddy of mine has just told me he's getting it on with his girlfriend and her twin. I said, "How can you tell them apart?" He said, "Her brother's got a moustache."[/FONT][/COLOR][/FONT][/COLOR][/FONT][/FONT] [FONT=times new roman] [FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=black][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=black][FONT=Comic Sans MS]Just put a deposit down on a brand new Porsche and mentioned it on Facebook. I said, "I can't wait for the new 911 to arrive!" Next thing I know 4,000 friend....g Muslims have added me as a friend![/FONT][/COLOR][/FONT][/COLOR][/FONT][/FONT] [FONT=times new roman] [FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=black][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=black][FONT=Comic Sans MS]Being a modest man, when I checked [/FONT][/COLOR][/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=olive][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=olive][FONT=Comic Sans MS]into my hotel on a recent trip, I said to the lady at the registration desk,"I hope the porn channel in my room is disabled." To which she replied, "No, it's regular people-porn, you sick bastard.”[/FONT][/COLOR][/FONT][/COLOR][/FONT][/FONT] [FONT=times new roman] [FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=black][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=black][FONT=Comic Sans MS]The Red Cross just knocked at our door and asked if we could help towards the floods in Pakistan. I said we would love to, but our garden hose only reaches the driveway.[/FONT][/COLOR][/FONT][/COLOR][/FONT][/FONT] [/QUOTE]
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Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
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