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Message: <blockquote data-quote="moreluck" data-source="post: 982583" data-attributes="member: 1246"><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black">SOME OF THE BEST OF GEORGE CARLIN (Family Friendly Version)</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black">Swimming is not a sport. Swimming is a way to keep from drowning.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black">Honesty may be the best policy, but apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black">"I am" is the shortest sentence is the English language. Could "I do" be the longest sentence?</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black">As soon as someone is identified as an unsung hero,he no longer is.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black">George Washington's brother was the Uncle of Our Country.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black">I have a problem with people who say, "Can I ask you a question?" Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya, buddy?</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black">All property is theft. No one can actually "own" anything because when you die, it all stays here.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black">Cloud Nine gets all the publicity, but Cloud Eight actually is cheaper, less crowded, and has a better view.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black">I'm always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize I'm listening to it.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black">"Meow" means "Woof" in cat.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black">So far, this is the oldest I've been.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black">I have as much authority as the Pope. I just don't have as many people who believe it. </span></span></p></blockquote><p></p>

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