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Life After Brown
Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
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<blockquote data-quote="moreluck" data-source="post: 986646" data-attributes="member: 1246"><p><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"></span></span></p><p><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"></span></span><strong><em><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"></span></span></em></strong></p><p><strong><em><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'">These are actual comments made by 16 Police Officers. The comments were taken off actual police car videos around the country:</span></span></em></strong><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"> </span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"></span><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"></span></span></p><p><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'">1. "You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just went through."</span></span><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"> </span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"></span><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"></span></span></p><p><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'">2. "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them a while."</span></span><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"> </span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"></span><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"></span></span></p><p><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'">3. "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."</span></span><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"> </span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"></span><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"></span></span></p><p><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'">4. "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."</span></span><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"> </span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"></span><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"></span></span></p><p><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'">5. "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you."</span></span><span style="color: blue"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"> (LOVE IT) </span></span><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"></span><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"></span></span></p><p><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'">6. "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"</span></span><span style="color: blue"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"> (MY FAVORITE) </span></span><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"></span><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"></span></span></p><p><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'">7. "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?"</span></span><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"> </span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"></span><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"></span></span></p><p><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'">8. "Warning! You want a warning? O.K, I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."</span></span><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"> </span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"></span><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"></span></span></p><p><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'">9. "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"</span></span><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"> </span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"></span><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"></span></span></p><p><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'">10. "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop."</span></span><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"> </span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"></span><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"></span></span></p><p><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'">11. "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."</span></span><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"> </span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"></span><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"></span></span></p><p><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'">12. "In God we trust; all others we run through NCIC."</span></span><span style="color: blue"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"> (National Crime Information Centre) </span></span><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"></span><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"></span></span></p><p><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'">13. "Just how big were those 'two beers' you say you had?"</span></span><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"> </span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"></span><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"></span></span></p><p><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'">14. "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can."</span></span><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"> </span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"></span><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"></span></span></p><p><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'">15. "I'm glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail."</span></span><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"> </span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"></span><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"></span></span></p><p><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'">AND THE WINNER IS....</span></span><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"> </span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"></span><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"></span></span></p><p><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'">16. "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't.. Sign here."</span></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="moreluck, post: 986646, member: 1246"] [COLOR=navy][FONT="Tahoma"] [/FONT][/COLOR][B][I][COLOR=red][FONT="Tahoma"] These are actual comments made by 16 Police Officers. The comments were taken off actual police car videos around the country:[/FONT][/COLOR][/I][/B][FONT="Tahoma"] [/FONT][COLOR=navy][FONT="Tahoma"] 1. "You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just went through."[/FONT][/COLOR][FONT="Tahoma"] [/FONT][COLOR=navy][FONT="Tahoma"] 2. "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them a while."[/FONT][/COLOR][FONT="Tahoma"] [/FONT][COLOR=navy][FONT="Tahoma"] 3. "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."[/FONT][/COLOR][FONT="Tahoma"] [/FONT][COLOR=navy][FONT="Tahoma"] 4. "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."[/FONT][/COLOR][FONT="Tahoma"] [/FONT][COLOR=navy][FONT="Tahoma"] 5. "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you."[/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=blue][FONT="Tahoma"] (LOVE IT) [/FONT][/COLOR][FONT="Tahoma"] [/FONT][COLOR=navy][FONT="Tahoma"] 6. "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"[/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=blue][FONT="Tahoma"] (MY FAVORITE) [/FONT][/COLOR][FONT="Tahoma"] [/FONT][COLOR=navy][FONT="Tahoma"] 7. "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?"[/FONT][/COLOR][FONT="Tahoma"] [/FONT][COLOR=navy][FONT="Tahoma"] 8. "Warning! You want a warning? O.K, I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."[/FONT][/COLOR][FONT="Tahoma"] [/FONT][COLOR=navy][FONT="Tahoma"] 9. "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"[/FONT][/COLOR][FONT="Tahoma"] [/FONT][COLOR=navy][FONT="Tahoma"] 10. "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop."[/FONT][/COLOR][FONT="Tahoma"] [/FONT][COLOR=navy][FONT="Tahoma"] 11. "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."[/FONT][/COLOR][FONT="Tahoma"] [/FONT][COLOR=navy][FONT="Tahoma"] 12. "In God we trust; all others we run through NCIC."[/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=blue][FONT="Tahoma"] (National Crime Information Centre) [/FONT][/COLOR][FONT="Tahoma"] [/FONT][COLOR=navy][FONT="Tahoma"] 13. "Just how big were those 'two beers' you say you had?"[/FONT][/COLOR][FONT="Tahoma"] [/FONT][COLOR=navy][FONT="Tahoma"] 14. "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can."[/FONT][/COLOR][FONT="Tahoma"] [/FONT][COLOR=navy][FONT="Tahoma"] 15. "I'm glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail."[/FONT][/COLOR][FONT="Tahoma"] [/FONT][COLOR=navy][FONT="Tahoma"] AND THE WINNER IS....[/FONT][/COLOR][FONT="Tahoma"] [/FONT][COLOR=navy][FONT="Tahoma"] 16. "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't.. Sign here."[/FONT][/COLOR][FONT="Arial"] [/FONT] [/QUOTE]
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Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
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