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<blockquote data-quote="moreluck" data-source="post: 1671250" data-attributes="member: 1246">The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible.~George BurnsSanta Claus has the right idea ...Visit people only once a year.~Victor BorgeWhat would men be without women?Scarce, sir .. mighty scarce.~Mark TwainBy all means, marry.If you get a good wife, you&#039;ll become happy; if you get a bad one, you&#039;ll become a philosopher.~SocratesI was married by a judge.I should have asked for a jury.~Groucho MarxMy wife has a slight impediment in her speech.Every now and then she stops to breathe.~Jimmy DuranteThe male is a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness and kindness, can be trained to do most things.~Jilly CooperI have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back.~ Zsa GaborOnly Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat.~Alex LevineDon&#039;t go around saying the world owes you a living.The world owes you nothing. It was here first.~Mark TwainMoney can&#039;t buy you happiness, but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.~Spike MilliganWhat&#039;s the use of happiness?It can&#039;t buy you money.~Henny Youngman&nbsp;Until I was thirteen, I thought my name was &#039;shut up&#039;.~Joe NamathYouth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life.~Herbert Henry AsquithI don&#039;t feel old.I don&#039;t feel anything until noon.Then it&#039;s time for my nap.~Bob HopeA woman drove me to drink ...and I hadn&#039;t even the courtesy to thank her.~W.C. FieldsIt takes only one drink to get me drunk.The trouble is, I can&#039;t remember if it&#039;s the thirteenth or the fourteenth.~George BurnsThe cardiologist&#039;s diet: If it tastes good ... spit it out.~UnknownBy the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he&#039;s too old to go anywhere.~Billy Crystal</blockquote>

[QUOTE="moreluck, post: 1671250, member: 1246"] The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible. ~George Burns Santa Claus has the right idea ... Visit people only once a year. ~Victor Borge What would men be without women? Scarce, sir .. mighty scarce. ~Mark Twain By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. ~Socrates I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. ~Groucho Marx My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe. ~Jimmy Durante The male is a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness and kindness, can be trained to do most things. ~Jilly Cooper I have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back. ~ Zsa Gabor Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat. ~Alex Levine Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first. ~Mark Twain Money can't buy you happiness, but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery. ~Spike Milligan What's the use of happiness? It can't buy you money. ~Henny Youngman Until I was thirteen, I thought my name was 'shut up'. ~Joe Namath Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life. ~Herbert Henry Asquith I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my nap. ~Bob Hope A woman drove me to drink ... and I hadn't even the courtesy to thank her. ~W.C. Fields It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth. ~George Burns The cardiologist's diet: If it tastes good ... spit it out. ~Unknown By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere. ~Billy Crystal [/QUOTE]

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