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<blockquote data-quote="moreluck" data-source="post: 1934298" data-attributes="member: 1246"><p>Pregnancy FAQ....</p><p></p><p>Q: Should I have a baby after 35?</p><p>A: No, generally 35 children are enough.</p><p></p><p>Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move? </p><p>A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.</p><p></p><p>Q: How will I know if my vomiting is morning sickness or the flu? </p><p>A: If it's the flu, you'll get better.</p><p></p><p>Q: What is the most common pregnancy craving?</p><p>A: For men to be the ones who get pregnant.</p><p></p><p>Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex? </p><p>A: Childbirth.</p><p></p><p>Q: The more pregnant I get, the more often strangers smile at me. Why?</p><p>A: 'Cause you're fatter than they are.</p><p></p><p>Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's borderline irrational.</p><p>A: So what's your question?</p><p></p><p>Q: What's the difference between a nine-month pregnant woman and a model? </p><p>A: Nothing (if the pregnant woman's husband knows what's good for him).</p><p></p><p>Q: How long is the average woman in labor?</p><p>A: Whatever she says divided by two.</p><p></p><p>Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right? </p><p>A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.</p><p></p><p>Q: When is the best time to get an epidermal?</p><p>A: Right after you find out you're pregnant.</p><p></p><p>Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor? </p><p>A: Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you.</p><p></p><p>Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth? </p><p>A: Yes, pregnancy.</p><p></p><p>Q: Does pregnancy cause hemorrhoids?</p><p>A: Pregnancy causes anything you want to blame it for.</p><p></p><p>Q: What does it mean when a baby is born with teeth?</p><p>A: It means that the baby's mother may want to rethink her plans to nurse.</p><p></p><p>Q: What is the best time to wean the baby from nursing? </p><p>A: When you see teeth marks.</p><p></p><p>Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?</p><p>A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.</p><p></p><p>Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again? </p><p>A: When the kids are in college.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="moreluck, post: 1934298, member: 1246"] Pregnancy FAQ.... Q: Should I have a baby after 35? A: No, generally 35 children are enough. Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move? A: With any luck, right after he finishes college. Q: How will I know if my vomiting is morning sickness or the flu? A: If it's the flu, you'll get better. Q: What is the most common pregnancy craving? A: For men to be the ones who get pregnant. Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex? A: Childbirth. Q: The more pregnant I get, the more often strangers smile at me. Why? A: 'Cause you're fatter than they are. Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's borderline irrational. A: So what's your question? Q: What's the difference between a nine-month pregnant woman and a model? A: Nothing (if the pregnant woman's husband knows what's good for him). Q: How long is the average woman in labor? A: Whatever she says divided by two. Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right? A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current. Q: When is the best time to get an epidermal? A: Right after you find out you're pregnant. Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor? A: Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you. Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth? A: Yes, pregnancy. Q: Does pregnancy cause hemorrhoids? A: Pregnancy causes anything you want to blame it for. Q: What does it mean when a baby is born with teeth? A: It means that the baby's mother may want to rethink her plans to nurse. Q: What is the best time to wean the baby from nursing? A: When you see teeth marks. Q: Do I have to have a baby shower? A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly. Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again? A: When the kids are in college. [/QUOTE]
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