I am quite upset that tonight, as I exited the building after my shift was over, I was subjected to an illegal search and seizure by ups thugs.
Lately, I have been laying low not responding to many threads but I have to admit, this is one of the best threads I have read in quite some time and as such, very deserving of response. First off Mary, if something as simple as a search upsets you, please keep your lily whiteass home and never go to an airport, as doing so would most likely traumatize and utterly devastate you. I have been groped so much, I have TSA agents who send me and my unit Xmas cards.
Secondly, please for the love of God, stop watching Duck Dynasty and Law and Order! Those shows will never mix and you will never be a lawyer, but I do thank you for attempting to throw some humorous legal jargon into your post even if it was a fail. Illegal is forbidden by law whereas unlawful is not authorized by law but hey, How would Uncle Si know this? You're just some shvatz and the guards are not law enforcers and there is no crime when an
employer manhandles your meatsleeve with a wand. Possibly against policy, maybe uncomfortable, slightly annoying, but definitely and absolutely not unlawful....or in your case ILLEGAL. Time is not an element or even a tangible object which could be seized if your rights were actually violated but I have a feeling that explaining that to you would be fruitless so I won't.
They told me they were looking for cellphones, proceeded to have me empty my pockets, hold my arms out and scanned me down.
How dare those lying, knuckle-dragging, HoneyBooBoo looking mongoloids make you empty your pockets at your place of employment and then embarrass and subject you to further cruelty by making you lift your arms. I bet that was the most excruciating 15 seconds you have ever been subjected to. and I truly feel your sorrow and angst. If that were me, I would immediately march my ass down to the local courthouse and file an injunction and lawsuit against the guards and UPS for such inhumane treatment....Oh wait,
NEVERMIND they also could possibly want to search you and oh my, touch you somewhere.
There was no probable cause. This is clearly illegal search and seizure!
You might ask, what did they seize? MY TIME!
Again, I ask that you refrain from watching too much Law and Order and Swamp people as shows like that do nothing to help your understanding of the criminal justice system or the private sector but I will not chastise you further regarding your use of legal jargon. Please, if they continue with their barbaric practices, contact me through here and I will certainly have a legal team ready, on standby to help you with your case.
Good luck and good bye!