Outsider named as UPS Chief Marketing Officer and Management Committee

[take your time]

This Kevin Warren clown should get on a package car for a month so he can see first hand what these promises made to customers really mean and how they really play out. Right now, this goober college boy is clueless.

The pencil necks wouldn't last 5 hours on the road. Not even 5.

 

[DOK]

...

"UPS has created an iconic look with their brown and yellow uniforms that somewhat inexplicably garners more prominent status as a sexualized figure than FedEx, USP or DHL ever has. Perhaps it's the excitement of a stranger visiting your door or the fact that the delivery man is always bringing something to you while driving a big truck that tends to intrigue and excite people. The dark brown colors of the UPS brand tend to infer more masculine sensibilities and a bit of a working-glass feel than the bright white FedEx brand has ever conveyed."

Where’d you find that bloviation?

 

[Heavy Package]

Most recently, Kevin served as Executive Vice President and Chief Commercial Officer for Xerox Corporation, where he was responsible for marketing, worldwide channel strategy, salesforce effectiveness, and global client engagement for the company’s diverse portfolio of hardware, software, and services.”

Xerox Corp has gone way down hill laying off thousands and being pressured by activist investors. This guy was a lifer at Xerox since graduating college. He was part of the problem, not the solution. Now he has his golden parachute from them and jumps on to UPS to ride out his career. friend*ing joke.

 

[Old Man Jingles]

Xerox Corp has gone way down hill laying off thousands and being pressured by activist investors. This guy was a lifer at Xerox since graduating college. He was part of the problem, not the solution. Now he has his golden parachute from them and jumps on to UPS to ride out his career. friend*ing joke.

I thought the same thing about Xerox ... makes you wonder.

 

[Blackadder 2]

Maybe he can jump on route with me and show me how it is done.

 

[Heavy Package]

And maybe you should spend a month as his sidekick so you'll understand his job and responsibilities.

Here's the daily recap:

1. Meeting with pastry and coffee in AC
2. Meeting with coffee in AC
3. 2-hr lunch in AC on company credit card
4. Meeting with coffee and cookies in AC
5. Take a crap in AC
6. Go home in AC car
7. Send texts in mansion (phone paid for and provided by the company)
8. Collect check and stock options
9. Repeat until retired overly wealthy


Think you are up to the task?

 

[Catatonic]

Maybe he can jump on route with me and show me how it is done.

He would come closer than you can 'jump into his job and show you how it's done'.

 

[Blackadder 2]

He would come closer than you can 'jump into his job and show you how it's done'.

Bet he wouldn't last a day on my job.

 

[Heavy Package]

He would come closer than you can 'jump into his job and show you how it's done'.

The only thing he knows how to do is pick the best Danish before the meeting starts at corporate HQ. He knows NOTHING about UPS.

So which one is the best choice to keep that blood sugar up in time for lunch?

 

[Catatonic]

Bet he wouldn't last a day on my job.

And you wouldn't last 4 hours in his job unless you spent it in the bathroom.

Neither of you would last 10 minutes in a brain surgeons job.

SMH

 

[Catatonic]

The only thing he knows how to do is pick the best Danish before the meeting starts at corporate HQ. He knows NOTHING about UPS.

So which one is the best choice to keep that blood sugar up in time for lunch?

Whatever

Gooberish but funny.

 

[Blackadder 2]

And you wouldn't last 4 hours in his job unless you spent it in the bathroom.

Neither of you would last 10 minutes in a brain surgeons job.

SMH

The stupid is strong with you.

 

[Catatonic]

The stupid is strong with you.

And the sad thing is I am a lot smarter than you.

 

[Turdferguson]

Neither of you would last 10 minutes in a brain surgeons job.

What are they going to do fire someone 10 minutes into a surgery?
BS I could fake my way at 2 to 3 hours before they realized I didn't know what I was doing

 

[Box Ox]

Neither of you would last 10 minutes in a brain surgeons job.

Are UPS corporate folks comparable to brain surgeons?

 

[Old Man Jingles]

Are UPS corporate folks comparable to brain surgeons?

I never met any!

Maybe since they stopped promoting drivers, there may be a few.

 

[Box Ox]

I never met any!

Maybe since they stopped promoting drivers, there may be a few.

I just meant that the conversation leapt from “You couldn’t do a UPS corporate job!” to “Oh yeah? Well you couldn’t be a brain surgeon!” There’s certainly no doubt. Very specialized knowledge, skills and physical abilities (steady hands/concentration) required. LOL

 

[cosmo1]

The second *outside hire* to the Management Committee. Thoughts?


Kevin Warren named UPS Chief Marketing Officer

Changing global market dynamics, rapid growth in cross-border and B2C volume, new digital communication channels, unrelenting customer expectations, and new competitive threats are challenging UPS to constantly innovate.

To help UPS drive and guide our path forward, Kevin Warren is joining UPS as Chief Marketing Officer (CMO) and will become a member of the Management Committee.

In his new role, Kevin will be responsible for U.S. Marketing, International Marketing, Digital Infrastructure Analytics, Revenue Management, Business Planning & Forecasting, Customer Loyalty Management, Segment Marketing, as well as Customer Communications and Public Relations.

Kevin will lead the team to develop and execute innovative marketing strategies that deliver improved results for our shareholders, customers, and employees—while also presenting customer-relevant brand messaging that enhances UPS’s reputation as one of the most trusted and respected companies in the world.

Kevin brings to UPS extensive senior leadership experience in several industries and possesses a deep understanding of service-based businesses and leading transformational change.

Most recently, Kevin served as Executive Vice President and Chief Commercial Officer for Xerox Corporation, where he was responsible for marketing, worldwide channel strategy, salesforce effectiveness, and global client engagement for the company’s diverse portfolio of hardware, software, and services.”

And maybe you should spend a month as his sidekick so you'll understand his job and responsibilities.

I thought the same thing about Xerox ... makes you wonder.

He would come closer than you can 'jump into his job and show you how it's done'.

And you wouldn't last 4 hours in his job unless you spent it in the bathroom.

Neither of you would last 10 minutes in a brain surgeons job.

SMH

Whatever

Gooberish but funny.

And the sad thing is I am a lot smarter than you.

Will the real Hoax please step forward?

 

[Blackadder 2]

And the sad thing is I am a lot smarter than you.

You must be in management.

 

[Old Man Jingles]

Will the real Hoax please step forward?

Some members insist on replying to MB.