These are real restaurant reviews from Zagat....
" 'Breaking bread' should not mean you have to use the side of the table."
"I thought I was looking at an oil painting when suddenly it moved. It was my waitress."
"The only way the tables could be closer together would be to stack them."
"The duck was tired, tough, and it took 90 minutes to arrive. It must have had a long flight."
"Overpriced and undergood."