I don't care if the company lets this guy off early on Wednesday or whenever for his religious stuff, because once that has been established they will have to let me go home early on the days I need to just chill out and get my head together for a few hours. That's generally on a Friday.
I mean, realistically there's a whole plethora of religions and areas of worship. I'm sure if you research hard enough, you can find one that celebrates the mass of nothing at the time of your choosing on the day you wish - a tailor made excuse church that exists strictly for the exploitation of this loophole in contracts. Probably started by a lawyer.
There's a weed church, too. Smoke that dosia all day long cruising through the stops, but the key is you gotta call it chalice, and say the word constantly at work. Make sure your steward hears the word ringing in his ears when lays his head down for the night. At the PCM, when the sup yells out, "alright 9 o'clock" and is about to start the rundown - take one step forward, place your hands together and bow, and calmly say, "chalice". Everyday. Everyone is aware of your preoccupation with this word, and it's meaning - they reason that you meditate before work to center yourself. For a while.
But when inevitably UPS says the truck smells like Snoop Dogg's breath and pops a drug test on you, tell them you're a recognized member of The Weed Church, and they are now in violation of your religious freedom. You should also have a medicinal marijuana card if you're in a state where this is legal and there are dispensaries. It never hurts to have the science on your side, in addition to the spirituality.
Profit.
You say, my job or we dance. Mark Geragos is on speed dial. Religious accommodation.
