@RebelAtHeart,
Thanks for sharing this.
I certainly understand this perspective and I can certainly relate.
I am definitely not judging or looking to change your point of view or your faith but I am interested in discussing more with you, if you are willing.
I too once put my faith exclusively in my actions, I did this for a long time. I always had a belief in God. This belief was passed on through my family tradition, I was accustomed to learning of God and being exposed to God since birth. I truly believed in God but it was an intellectual, religious based belief in God but of real faith in Him I had only a little for a long, long time.
I too thought it funny, downright disturbing to me that people believe in a "god" that has the power to create the universe and all living things but, let's children get raped, tortured and murdered because why? As the answers regarding free will seem inadequate to you, the answers I got at the time were completely inadequate in convincing me to place my faith and trust in a God like this.
Not having answers for the horrible things that people do to each other, even those that care about you most, horrible crimes like you mentioned, the horrible things that just seem to happen to people like natural disasters or “ acts of God” events and added to all of these things not even being able to answer for mistakes that I personally make. In my teenage years I made up my mind to answer the question for myself.
My answer like yours was to put my faith primarily and almost exclusively in my actions.
to be continued……