The Doctor is in: Post your concerns and I will provide guidance

[DS]

Dear lynda,I'm a jesuit preist in a parish in guadalajara.We have people from every religion among us including taoists,mennonites,rastafarians reformed scientologists ,catholics,and a small group of dwarf jehovahs witnesess.I have the job of editing our local newspaper.Recently we acquired a new advice journalist that gives advice that troubles me. She has obviously never had a nice talk with god.In your opinion,should I just pray for her and give her free reign or should I remind her that some things are inappropriate in our house of worship.I feel that our sanctuary of eden is a blessed one and I think a few subtle words may be in order to retain its sanctity before I consult the regional assistant to the executive director of administration.What do you think?

 

[tieguy]

Dear lynda,I'm a jesuit preist in a parish in guadalajara.We have people from every religion among us including taoists,mennonites,rastafarians reformed scientologists ,catholics,and a small group of dwarf jehovahs witnesess.I have the job of editing our local newspaper.Recently we acquired a new advice journalist that gives advice that troubles me. She has obviously never had a nice talk with god.In your opinion,should I just pray for her and give her free reign or should I remind her that some things are inappropriate in our house of worship.I feel that our sanctuary of eden is a blessed one and I think a few subtle words may be in order to retain its sanctity before I consult the regional assistant to the executive director of administration.What do you think?

ruh..roh...someone about to get spanked.

 

[scratch]

ruh..roh...someone about to get spanked.

That someone would probably enjoy it............

 

[Fighting4yourRights]

Dear lynda,I'm a jesuit preist in a parish in guadalajara.We have people from every religion among us including taoists,mennonites,rastafarians reformed scientologists ,catholics,and a small group of dwarf jehovahs witnesess.I have the job of editing our local newspaper.Recently we acquired a new advice journalist that gives advice that troubles me. She has obviously never had a nice talk with god.In your opinion,should I just pray for her and give her free reign or should I remind her that some things are inappropriate in our house of worship.I feel that our sanctuary of eden is a blessed one and I think a few subtle words may be in order to retain its sanctity before I consult the regional assistant to the executive director of administration.What do you think?

I'm sorry. I promise, I'll change. Things will be different - you'll see. Please don't give up on me. Not yet...

Air Supply - Making Love Out of Nothing At All

 

[over9five]

Wow....DS.....that was....... impressive........thoughtful....... insightful....... incredible.....

all of that!

 

[tieguy]

It was an insanely creative thread though that occasionally jumped into the bizarre and or naughty arenas. Now that we're giving fdx their own arena perhaps one for the criminally insane next?

 

[tieguy]

I'm sorry. I promise, I'll change. Things will be different - you'll see. Please don't give up on me. Not yet...

YouTube - Air Supply - Making Love Out of Nothing At All

hmmm. I think the guy was wearing a light blue "for members only" jacket. A real hit for the fashion playboy in the early eighties...

Dear f4yr how do I identify with my youth when people from that time frame now look so queer ( as in odd ) to me. Should I just make the adjustment and starting wearing jeans half way down the back of my thighs?

 

[longlunchguy]

Hey is the singer from AirSupply wearing Z Caverrichi parachute pants with that Members Only jacket.

 

[Fighting4yourRights]

hmmm. I think the guy was wearing a light blue "for members only" jacket. A real hit for the fashion playboy in the early eighties...

Dear f4yr how do I identify with my youth when people from that time frame now look so queer ( as in odd ) to me. Should I just make the adjustment and starting wearing jeans half way down the back of my thighs?

Dearest fans, My little newspaper operation is hemorrhaging (shut your eyes and picture it). Some of my biggest supporters have withdrawn their sponsorship and I am having to do some VERY inappropriate things to pay my employees. (Typically, I would explain in naughty detail exactly what I've done to make ends meet but you will need to use your imaginations here).

Now, down to business. Tieguy, your question is highly relevant. Please don't discredit your entire generation based on one very good song *slash* Lame as hell video. I selected this video b/c it is so cheesy and almost no one should dress like these individuals. BTW, did you get a gander at the back up singers (I put smiles on their faces back in the 80's).

Members only Jackets are out - but stone washed jean jacket with matching pants are back in!!!

White male afros NEVER, I repeat, NEVER went out of style. Please don't ever change.

Z Caverrichi parachute pants hide the goods. Don't wear them.

A fashion do:

Brown shorty short shorts. Let me tell you folks, I piloted this response before posting and the phones have been ringing off the hook. Men and women like to see a nice hot package dressed up in brown shorty short shorts.

Even better, by the age of 60 - please let others know by simply changing from white socks to Black ones. We all like the heads up warning...

 

[rod]

Dear Doctor,
I seem to have a major problem tonight. My jug of Black Velvet has gone empty and now I have to resort to EJ brandy. My liver wants to know if these 2 are compatable?

 

[satellitedriver]

My finger is slowly taking the slack out of the trigger on the Nuke button of this thread.
Not really, but just watch where the language and the references go.
Physician heal thyself.
PAX

 

[DS]

"let the good times roll
let them knock you around
let the good times roll
let them make you a clown
let them leave you up in the air
let them brush your rock and roll hair
let the good times roll
let the good times roll
let the good times roll
let the stories be cold
they can say what they want
let the photos be old
let them show what they want
if the illusion is real
let them give you a ride
if they got thunder appeal
let them be on your side"
The thunder appeal is there in essence,the words are hard to find.

 

[satellitedriver]

Maybe I have a case of this,

Warning lights are flashing down at Quality Control
somebody threw a spanner and they threw him in the hole
there's rumors in the loading bay and anger in the town
somebody blew the whistle and the walls came down
there's a meeting in the boardroom they're trying to trace the smell
there's leaking in the washroom there's a sneak in personnel
somewhere in the corridors someone was heard to sneeze
'goodness me could this be Industrial Disease?

The caretaker was crucified for sleeping at his post
they're refusing to be pacified it's him they blame the most
the watchdog's got rabies the foreman's got fleas
and everyone's concerned about Industrial Disease
there's panic on the switchboard tongues are ties in knots
some come out in sympathy some come out in spots
some blame the management some the employees
and everybody knows it's the Industrial Disease

The work force is disgusted downs tools and walks
innocence is injured experience just talks
everyone seeks damages and everyone agrees
that these are 'classic symptoms of a monetary squeeze'
on ITV and BBC they talk about the curse
philosophy is useless theology is worse
history boils over there's an economics freeze
sociologists invent words that mean 'Industrial Disease'

Doctor Parkinson declared 'I'm not surprised to see you here
you've got smokers cough from smoking, brewer's droop from drinking beer
I don't know how you came to get the Betty Davis knees
but worst of all young man you've got Industrial Disease'
he wrote me a prescription he said 'you are depressed
but I'm glad you came to see me to get this off your chest
come back and see me later - next patient please
send in another victim of Industrial Disease'

I go down to Speaker's Corner I'm thunderstruck
they got free speech, tourists, police in trucks
two men say they're Jesus one of them must be wrong
there's a protest singer singing a protest song - he says
'they wanna have a war to keep us on our knees
they wanna have a war to keep their factories
they wanna have a war to stop us buying Japanese
they wanna have a war to stop Industrial Disease
they're pointing out the enemy to keep you deaf and blind
they wanna sap your energy incarcerate your mind
they give you Rule Brittania, gassy beer, page three
two weeks in Espana and Sunday striptease'
meanwhile the first Jesus says 'I'd cure it soon
abolish monday mornings and friday afternoons'
the other one's on a hunger strike he's dying by degrees
how come Jesus gets Industrial Disease

PAX

 

[tieguy]

the doctor does tease me
the doctor does know
answers to please me
wisdom to grow

I ask her a question
my presentation sincere
but an answer I seek
much better if not clear

I ask for a straight pitch
a curve ball i recieve
I ask for a freeze pop
but her chile makes me wheeze

she lights up the skyline
with fireworks galore
satisfaction is given
unless darkness you adore

The path that we take
has had many strays
the direction directed
was meant to be rearranged

neatness and order
is not what we seek
chaos and confusion
of disaray we reek

A sidestep, or shuffle
less clarity be profane
in this thread of posts
whats right is inane.

the doctor is in
but her house has no walls
cross her with a blond
she'll juggle your balls.

 

[scratch]

I recognized the lyrics DS posted as a Cars tune, and Satellite posted the lyrics to a Dire Straights song, "Industrial Disease." But Tie, yours must be an original composition, haven't heard that one.

 

[Fighting4yourRights]

Hi all, I have been on a really crazy excursion. Damn, it's good to be back. I see that my little news opperation has gone by the wayside - but no fears LYNDA IS BACK and she is rawer than ever. I plan to get nasty, dirty, disgusting, and even a little stupid around this place. So post your worries and concerns and I will provide my mail order phd advice. I want to place a bandaid on all the pain of humanity and by the time your life comes crashing down, I'll be spending your hard earned money (my fee, of course) on loose men and cheap alcohol.

Here's my new slogan: It's all right, ask Lynda, you can trust her...honest.

 

[moreluck]

"I plan to get nasty, dirty, disgusting, "

We have new mods. You won't be doing that here !!

 

[over9five]

<sigh> yeah...... we got..........ROBO MOD.

 

[dillweed]

As I rode into Tombstone, my horse his name was Mac,
I saw what I'll relate to you, goin' on behind my back
It seems that folks were up in arms, a man now had to die,
For saying things that didn't fit the laws they'd set aside.
The man's name was "I'm a Freak", the best that I could see,
He was the executioner, a hangman just like me,
I guess that he'd seen loopholes, from workin' with his rope,
He'd hung the wrong man many times, so now he turned to hope.
He talked to all the people from his scaffold in the square,
He told them of the things he'd found, but they didn't seem to care
He said the laws were obsolete, a change they should demand,
But the people only walked away, he couldn't understand.
The marshall's name was Uncle Sam, he said he'd right this wrong,
He'd make the hangman shut his mouth if it took him all year long,
He finally arrested Freak, and then he sent for me,
To hang a fellow hangman, from a fellow hangman's tree.
It didn't take them long to try him, in their court of law,
He was guilty then of thinking, a crime much worse than all,
They sentenced him to die, so his seed of thought can't spread,
And infect the little children, that's what the law had said.
Well, the hangin' day came round and he walked up to the noose,
I pulled the lever but before he fell I cut him loose,
They called it all conspiracy, and then I had to die,
So to close our mouths and kill our minds, they hung us side by side...
And now we're two hangman, hangin' from a tree,
That don't bother me, at all.

whoa....flashback

 

[Fighting4yourRights]

What exactly do I need to do to become a super MOD?