And we blame the kids

[bbsam]

Why did I try to reason with my kids when they were young? Because like every other skill acquired, repetition is critical. It's actually pretty cool. I don't have to yell or threaten. They know what is expected and my disapproval isn't expressed as anger so much as that I know and they know they are capable of better. Ages 12, 8, and 7. They get it but they didn't get it overnight.

 

[wayfair]

I reasoned with consequences...

 

[Brownslave688]

Why did I try to reason with my kids when they were young? Because like every other skill acquired, repetition is critical. It's actually pretty cool. I don't have to yell or threaten. They know what is expected and my disapproval isn't expressed as anger so much as that I know and they know they are capable of better. Ages 12, 8, and 7. They get it but they didn't get it overnight.

Consistency is the key and not letting the kids play you.

My best friends 3 year old already plays mom and dad like a fiddle.

 

[MAKAVELI]

Consistency is the key and not letting the kids play you.

My best friends 3 year old already plays mom and dad like a fiddle.

Anyone who has raised kids will tell you that is normal behavior for a 3 year old. You aren't going to have a "perfect" child as that is impossible. No one is perfect. They will make mistakes, not do as told, get in trouble, etc. That's all part of growing up which everyone goes through. The best parents are the ones who balance structure, discipline , and allowing them to just be kids. That balance is the key to raising a healthy, well adjusted kid.

 

[Brownslave688]

Anyone who has raised kids will tell you that is normal behavior for a 3 year old. You aren't going to have a "perfect" child as that is impossible. No one is perfect. They will make mistakes, not do as told, get in trouble, etc. That's all part of growing up which everyone goes through. The best parents are the ones who balance structure, discipline , and allowing them to just be kids. That balance is the key to raising a healthy, well adjusted kid.

I'm talking about mother and father being one in the same. Example Of what normally happens.

Kid: I want a treat.

Parent 1: no you've had 3.

Kidruns off crying to parent 2)

Parent 2: (grabs kid treat)

To me this is parenting 101 stuff but I see it on a daily basis with almost all of my friends.

 

[MAKAVELI]

I'm talking about mother and father being one in the same. Example Of what normally happens.

Kid: I want a treat.

Parent 1: no you've had 3.

Kidruns off crying to parent 2)

Parent 2: (grabs kid treat)

To me this is parenting 101 stuff but I see it on a daily basis with almost all of my friends.

I understand what you're saying and you're right that both parents should back each other up and be on the same page. But that's not going to stop kids from trying.

 

[rod]

Kids can be so fun

 

[Operational needs]

Kids can be so fun

OMG!!! The parents of both those kids need to be shot. I can't even imagine allowing my kids to be that way.

 

[Brownslave688]

OMG!!! The parents of both those kids need to be shot. I can't even imagine allowing my kids to be that way.

Number 1 just wow. That obviously has some serious issues.

Video #2 seems to be a daily occurrence anymore. My mom would of drug my ass to the bathroom and whipped me so fast it wouldn't of been funny. Then when we got home it would of been even worse.

 

[superballs63]

Number 1 just wow. That obviously has some serious issues.

Video #2 seems to be a daily occurrence anymore. My mom would of drug my ass to the bathroom and whipped me so fast it wouldn't of been funny. Then when we got home it would of been even worse.

They would have taken you to the bathroom? My mom would have smacked me right then and there. No shame in her game. My sister once went to Disney world with a red hand print on her face cause she said something smart to my mom. We would NEVER get away with that bs in either of those videos

 

[Brownslave688]

They would have taken you to the bathroom? My mom would have smacked me right then and there. No shame in her game. My sister once went to Disney world with a red hand print on her face cause she said something smart to my mom. We would NEVER get away with that bs in either of those videos

From what I remember but it was usually church where I got most of my ass whoopins. So understandable I'd go to the bathroom there.

 

[moreluck]

 

[toonertoo]

I dealt with this just last week. a 2 yr old kept going over to the stove and turning the knob, the parent just kept pushing her away. I said something and the parent said, shes only 2. I said yes I know, but she does understand NO you just never tell her NO. When I was cooking I told her NO, and she just understood fine. When it is a dangerous thing they are doing, YOU HAVE TO TELL THEM NO, and mean it not just divert them.
Another was the dog food dish. While my dogs have always been trained to walk away if a person is in their dish, I can get in that dish any time I want, many dogs are not that way. I have heard of children having serious facial injuries from getting in a dog dish. A baby at 2 knows what no means.....

 

[moreluck]

 

[Brownslave688]

I dealt with this just last week. a 2 yr old kept going over to the stove and turning the knob, the parent just kept pushing her away. I said something and the parent said, shes only 2. I said yes I know, but she does understand NO you just never tell her NO. When I was cooking I told her NO, and she just understood fine. When it is a dangerous thing they are doing, YOU HAVE TO TELL THEM NO, and mean it not just divert them.
Another was the dog food dish. While my dogs have always been trained to walk away if a person is in their dish, I can get in that dish any time I want, many dogs are not that way. I have heard of children having serious facial injuries from getting in a dog dish. A baby at 2 knows what no means.....

You bet your ass they know.

The coddling is what amazes me. Was playing trucks with my nephew. He's almost 3. I guess I did something he didn't like. He reaches back with a truck in his hand like he's going to throw it at me. I said it pretty serious stern voice "son you better not throw that at me". He runs off crying into his room. His mom and dad ask what I said and then go grab him and pick him up. Telling him it's ok I didn't mean it.

Damn straight I meant it. If that little had chucked a hot wheel at me I would of given him something to cry about.

 

[toonertoo]

And I see this so much it is sickening.

 

[moreluck]

You bet your ass they know.

The coddling is what amazes me. Was playing trucks with my nephew. He's almost 3. I guess I did something he didn't like. He reaches back with a truck in his hand like he's going to throw it at me. I said it pretty serious stern voice "son you better not throw that at me". He runs off crying into his room. His mom and dad ask what I said and then go grab him and pick him up. Telling him it's ok I didn't mean it.

Damn straight I meant it. If that little had chucked a hot wheel at me I would of given him something to cry about.

Have you and your wife discussed a parenting plan and do you both agree ?

 

[Brownslave688]

Have you and your wife discussed a parenting plan and do you both agree ?

Yeah. When we first got married we were on opposite ends but watching many friends have kids and noticing what works more often than not and what doesn't has helped us mesh.

Also I was worried the wife would be a total softie as was she early in marriage. She is easily embarrassed in public however and has decided she would much rather be the "bad" guy than be publicly humiliated.

Not having kids at 20 and waiting until we were more mature and fine financially will likely be the biggest positive for both us and our kids.

 

[moreluck]

Yeah. When we first got married we were on opposite ends but watching many friends have kids and noticing what works more often than not and what doesn't has helped us mesh.

Also I was worried the wife would be a total softie as was she early in marriage. She is easily embarrassed in public however and has decided she would much rather be the "bad" guy than be publicly humiliated.

Not having kids at 20 and waiting until we were more mature and fine financially will likely be the biggest positive for both us and our kids.

Sounds like great plan.....it's a united front that works!!

 

[rod]

Yeah. When we first got married we were on opposite ends but watching many friends have kids and noticing what works more often than not and what doesn't has helped us mesh.

Also I was worried the wife would be a total softie as was she early in marriage. She is easily embarrassed in public however and has decided she would much rather be the "bad" guy than be publicly humiliated.

Not having kids at 20 and waiting until we were more mature and fine financially will likely be the biggest positive for both us and our kids.

Good luck with your plan of attack. I'm all for teaching young one that No means No. Let us know how this all works out for you in a couple of years. I predict due to past practices your wife ( normally being the one who has to deal with the kids more often) will cave in- leaving you to be the bad guy. Every kid is different--some are born hell raisers. I still like the line by some comedian who said "I have two boys--one I'm going to put through college and one I'm going to put through a wall".