Thursday I ran the downtown/business district Liberty, MO route. Amazon tosses me this route randomly, once or twice a month. Never often enough to hone it. Mostly ungridded and too many consignees who have personal packages sent to their workplaces, often enough stand-alone addresses wo suite numbers, and always wo C/O-ing the name of the business. C'mon.
Anyway. Had shaped up to be a rough day. Spilled coffee on my uniform shirt just before the first stop. Lots of traffic, stops I'd never made before along busy roads. In a tightly-spaced bank parking lot had to get out of the van to prevent a 50-something woman in a new Lincoln SUV from clipping the rear passenger quarter of my Promaster. Barely stopped her in time, and couldn't resist tapping on her passenger side mirror and telling her, "Next time, make sure you use this guy, that's why they installed it for you."
I had 40 stops left. The next 5 were along N Ridge Ave. The nearby elementary was just letting students out. Decided, as usual, was safer to partially block traffic along the 2-lane 35mph street and walk off each stop than 2 point reverse into one 200 ft driveway after another. And besides, even in Promasters, we're not supposed to enter customers' driveways (ha, try that on rural routes!).
I strolled down the driveway. Never delivered to this address before. Good line of sight, no evident danger. As I neared the house with a small envelope, a resident exited through the side door into his car port. I hailed him "Amazon! I have a package for you!" Just as I had completed the delivery outside the car port, a bit of polite chit-chat, and was preparing to leave, something appeared in the corner of my eye. It was a red heeler. Already within striking distance. I learned it had been in the backyard, around the corner, out of my sight. I was a bit startled, because it had snuck up silently -- ofc I would've heard it barking or growling -- and it had that look in its eye ... but I don't claim to be a dog-whisperer. I knew it was going to approach me, but was a toss-up whether it was going to give me a serious sniff or else attack.
I said, "Wait!" The owner casually, putting me further off-guard, addressed his dog by name. And just like that, the dog leapt at me, snarling. I had nothing in hand but a 'rabbit' (our scanners: slow, heavy-duty smartphones), useless for defense. I leapt backward. Not far enough, as one of the canine teeth struck its target just below my left knee. I yelled furiously. The heeler circled, readying for a second attack, but I charged first, kicking at its snout and connecting at least twice without injury. The dog squirreled away, eventually was wrangled by the owner and put inside the house.
I cursed at the owner, then calmed down. I called my dispatcher, who instructed me to file a police report. I reversed the van into the drive. The owner fetched supplies for me to disinfect and dress the wound. All said and done we passed 45 minutes, uncomfortably, in his drive. Never once, of course, did he mention what I learned.
My dispatcher said he would send help, but since it didn't arrive by the time I got to my last 20 stops, I texted him to forget about it and finished the d*mn route. And I'm glad I did. At my next-to-last stop I crossed paths with UPS. I got to chatting with the driver and he exclaimed, "Red heeler! What was the address?" He looked me in the eyes and sternly said, "I know that address. Two of our drivers have bitten by that same dog." Turns out, for a while they had tried just releasing the packages to the entry of the drive, but the customer had complained and now they, too, have to keep taking the risk ... even if at least they have a warning about this address in the delivery notes. Me, I wouldn't touch that place with a 10 ft pole. My old man told me I should carry bear mace, ha. Maybe he wasn't wrong.
Here's the thing. If the d*mned consignee hadn't appeared, 'distracting' me with customer service requirements, I prolly would've been able to protect myself against this dog, stealthy though it was. Likewise if the son of a b*tch consignee had given me any warning sign. But no, he played it cool and I gave myself up for a fool. I didn't press charges, and don't feel bad about that, because 1. I loathe all governments and 2. my problem isn't with the heeler ... under other circumstances we might be friends, ha, and my mixed border collie would do the same thing, if I opened the door when a carrier knocks. My problem is with the negligent consignee, who clearly values getting his effing trinkets over the safety of those of us carry them. My boss is trying to get Amazon to 'blacklist' this customer, but that means only they'll send his Amazon orders to USPS/UPS/FedEx. Whereas, like the Wobblies, I say: no, no soup for you
s re: a documented history of bites and the owner's negligence. The heeler will have to maul someone.
