Random Christmas things
- Thread starter moreluck
- Start date
moreluck
golden ticket member
This mall Santa seems insulted that I put down a protective paper before sitting on his lap. ~Conan O'Brien~
I once bought my kid a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, "Toys not included." ~Bernard Manning~
What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an iPad ? A pineapple.
Christmas is a baby shower that went totally overboard. ~Andy Borowitz~
I once bought my kid a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, "Toys not included." ~Bernard Manning~
What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an iPad ? A pineapple.
Christmas is a baby shower that went totally overboard. ~Andy Borowitz~
moreluck
golden ticket member
You know you're getting old when Santa starts looking younger.
What do you call that period five minutes after the gifts are opened? Christmess.
How much did Santa pay for his sleigh? Nothing; it was on the house.
Did you hear about the bald man who got a comb for Christmas ? He'll never part with it.
What do you call that period five minutes after the gifts are opened? Christmess.
How much did Santa pay for his sleigh? Nothing; it was on the house.
Did you hear about the bald man who got a comb for Christmas ? He'll never part with it.
moreluck
golden ticket member
Seasonal Diseases:
Pay Saks disease: A mania for buying gifts and abusing credit lines followed by a compulsive urge to carry 10 shopping bags at once.
Seasonal Affection Disorder: An exaggerated emotional response (typically shrieking and air-kissing) triggerd by seeing insignificant acquaintances at annual parties.
Gift-aphasia: Loss of memory that causes the accidental recycling of gifts back to the same people who gave them to you last year.
Pay Saks disease: A mania for buying gifts and abusing credit lines followed by a compulsive urge to carry 10 shopping bags at once.
Seasonal Affection Disorder: An exaggerated emotional response (typically shrieking and air-kissing) triggerd by seeing insignificant acquaintances at annual parties.
Gift-aphasia: Loss of memory that causes the accidental recycling of gifts back to the same people who gave them to you last year.
Operational needs
Virescit Vulnere Virtus
Christmas goodies for my neighbor who is nice enough to cut my grass and rake my leaves.
Operational needs
Virescit Vulnere Virtus
Can't get much more random Christmas than a painted fallen tree on a dirt road, surrounded by pastures.
Last edited:
rod
Retired 23 years
Thank you. I could sell that stuff easily around here. Personally I never use it (it destroys concrete). I use either chicken grit or just plain sand.
moreluck
golden ticket member
Writing one of those annoying holiday newsletters ?? Here's how......
*Open strong with a passive-aggressive attack on a loved one - "This year is barreling to a close as cousin Deborah spends yet another Saturday at the wine shop.
* Brag about any new job developments - especially if you don't deserve them. "I got promoted this year to VP ...shows how little they really know about my past."
* If you want to cement your status as least favorite distant cousins, just write the most dreaded words in the English language: "We thought it would be cool if we shared what's going on as a PowerPoint presentation."
~Brandon Specktor~
*Open strong with a passive-aggressive attack on a loved one - "This year is barreling to a close as cousin Deborah spends yet another Saturday at the wine shop.
* Brag about any new job developments - especially if you don't deserve them. "I got promoted this year to VP ...shows how little they really know about my past."
* If you want to cement your status as least favorite distant cousins, just write the most dreaded words in the English language: "We thought it would be cool if we shared what's going on as a PowerPoint presentation."
~Brandon Specktor~
Operational needs
Virescit Vulnere Virtus
A beautifully decorated front door on my route.
