Random thoughts

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If vampires can't see their reflections, why is their hair always so neat?

 

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Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong. (never experienced this)

 

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Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.

 

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I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

Was learning cursive really necessary?

 

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Why do they call the little candy bars "fun sizes". Wouldn't it be more fun to eat a big one?

What is Satan's last name?

 

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Never trust an atom......they make up everything!

 

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I can't believe I forgot to go to the gym today. That's 7 years in a row.

 

[oldngray]

 

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I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent an idiot from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!

 

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Limit politicians to 2 terms...……... One in office and one in prison!

 

[oldngray]

 

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Mirror, mirror,
Shiny glass,
tell me that is
not my ass!

 

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I think a man with a helmet
defending our country
should make
more money
than a
man with a helmet
defending a football.

 

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Who the heck cares what "the stars" think about Jim Acosta's treatment by Trump. Jim's a spoiled brat and so are "the stars".
Stars React to Donald Trump's Treatment of CNN's Jim Acosta Following Heated Press Conference

 

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To my children: Never make fun of having
to help me with the computer stuff.
I taught you how to use a spoon!

 

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I don't need anger management. I need people to stop pissing me off!

 

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A person who is not afraid of looking like a fool gets to do a lot more dancing.
~Margaret Renkl~