UPS "MAN LAWS"

[dave_socal]

Yeah, it's funny when doing bulk stops that other drivers say noone will help, help always seems to show up IF NEEDED. Playing dumb works when needed too. I don't like to use that card too often.

Thats a good one "UPSMANLAW"#33 Play dumb when it's convenient...like I placed those packages here because I don't think UPS allows me to go beyond 5 feet on yor property or loading dock, what loading dock? Sign here. This works more for utility drivers.

 

[fieldhand49]

dboy, what the h*ll are you talking about. Sweatbox, honeybees, and ripping your clothes off. That is one sick sexual fantasy you have. Just go, just go away. UPSMANLAW forever. Keep up the posting. If you want to keep it going let's here those laws.

 

[NewDRIVER]

I invite all of my fellow UPS drivers to join me in the creation of the first ever list of UPS "MAN LAWS" Ups "man laws" are the rules that us males have come to realize over the years. Unfortunately we are so busy that we usually don't have time to teach and educate are "brothers" and our newly appointed drivers. Until now! Let us compile a list and I will then re-write these laws on a seperate thread so we may print and distribute our knowledge to everyone! I feel 1 week is enough time to give us your best "rules" so get started.............me first:

1) Victoria Secret bags are always signature required.

2) Lane Bryant bags are always driver released.

3) Strip clubs. Simply walk into a strip club with any letter from your truck and tell the bouncer you need a sig. from the manager. While he fetches the manager, enjoy the view. Once the manager comes simply say "ooops, this isn't 123 Main St. Sorry!"

4) If you have a cute secretary on your route: Keep the chit-chat to a minimum. Stay just long enough to make her laugh but not long enough to turn into the "creepy UPS guy".

5) Do not roll up the sleeves on your uniform. You are not buff and you just look gay. If you are buff, you still look gay.

6) Don't wear shorts so small and tight that they could double as spandex.



Please continue.................

What about a laws for how to deal with heat rash, dang its hot out here!

 

[dtward63]

For relief from heat rash, always stand over A/C vent mounted in floor!!

 

[keith lestrange]

like your style fedex
i agree with shorts,i recently delv a victoria secrets pkg a got a show to get a male insight (very nice) so was in need of bigger shorts

 

[helenofcalifornia]

Oh, so that's why most of the guys in my center wear shorts that are way too big!

 

[dave_socal]

Oh, so that's why most of the guys in my center wear shorts that are way too big!

Better too big than too small we got a guy in our building that wears tight shorts, rolls up his sleaves, and wears big black boots, we tell'em he looks like he's a memeber of the group Village People you know the cop, the indian, the ups guy,cowboy ,leather chaps mustache guy etc etc lol

 

[toonertoo]

Same for men as women, bigger is better unless you are buff. And most of them that wear them too small have not realized they have grown. What looked good at 30 something does not at 40 something......................I wear mine big, leaves a little for the imagination................Bigger is not always beautiful..........

 

[helenofcalifornia]

How about a UPS uniform for women that is comfortable and fits. The men's shirts are too big and macho, and the shorts are OK but too big at the waist and too long.

 

[dave_socal]

How about a UPS uniform for women that is comfortable and fits. The men's shirts are too big and macho, and the shorts are OK but too big at the waist and too long.

One of the benefits of feeder is you able to( maybe not allowed but I do) wear brown clothing that isn't UPS issue and is more comfortable because no one cares about us night owls. I assume because we have liitle if any consignee contact. Well I guess you should just order uniform big and have it tailored thats what some drivers do and send tailoring bill to your Mgr he'll like that.

 

[Delivered]

The bigger the Victoria Secret Box the bigger the woman will be who answers the door