OK, let's get this right. For Starters:
It's 1 month's gross pay for each year's service plus an extra month pay per year for vacation (2 months pay per year service)and then UPS will pay all the taxes so you get the whole thing.
Also a new car for yourself up to $75k in value and your spouse get's a car up to $50k in value.
There are no work restrictions is retirement and for those at least 50 years of age, here is the monthly pension payouts for those who take retirement.
25 years service $5000 per month
30 years service $7000 per month
35 years service $9000 per month
Anyone over 35 years service will also recieve an all expense paid 2 week trip to anywhere in the world and upon return a weekend stay in the main guestroom suite at Mike Eskew's house and Mike will serve you breakfast in bed and you get to tell him with raised voice to "Have a sense of urgency!"
Look, if you're gonna spin one, spin a d#mn good un!
There's got to be some room at Corp. where they print these things off and post them on the wall so that when situations build and they need some release, they go into this room and read this nonsense and just ROTFFL(Their)AO! I know I would!
Fullhouse, do me one favor. Whatever it is you been smoking, please don't bogart that joint and pass it on to me!