Both of my parents very seldom didn't have a cig in their hands as I grew up. My mother died of lung cancer at a relatively young age. I was 18 at the time and I drove her to her chemo treatments. My father died of emphysema related to smoking. It made a believer of me. Never touched a cigarette when I was growing up. We owned a bar the whole time I was a kid. I probably got enough second hand smoke from that place. I pleaded with my son, begged him when he was in high school not to smoke. He looked me in the eye and told me he would never smoke. He lied to me. He was smoking at the time, and when he went to the navy, he smoked even more. He is 29 now and his little girl asked him to quit smoking. He told me the day before yesterday that he was trying to quit, and it had been about a day and a half since he smoked and it was getting bad for him. I asked him last night if he had snuck one, and he admitted he dug around in his pickup and found 2 in an old pack and yeah he smoked 1 of them. Never having been a smoker, I can't relate. But it must be damn difficult. Hang in there, OP. You can do it. Do it for the people who love you and want to keep you around. Please.