Random thoughts

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My "quickie" dinner tonight!!

 

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Children are often spoiled …… because no one will spank Grandma!!

 

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If sour milk is used to make yogurt, how do you know when yogurt has gone bad?

 

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How do you know when it's time to tune your bagpipes?

 

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Why does your nose run and your feet smell?

 

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Why do they call it a TV set when you only get one?

How come wrong numbers are never busy?

 

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Do radioactve cats have 18 half-lives?

 

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Why call it "take" a dump, when you leave something behind?

 

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Does 'virgin wool' come from sheep the shepherd hasn't caught yet? (ask Dave)

 

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It’s really sad when you discover you’re ugly

 

[Wally]

 

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If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?

 

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How did a fool and his money GET together?

 

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If you have your finger touching the rearview mirror that says -- "objects in mirror are closer than they appear", how can that be possible?

 

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The severity of the itch is proportional to inability to the reach it.
Two wrongs are only the beginning.
The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
A fool and his money are soon partying.
Drugs may lead to nowhere, but at least it's the scenic route.
It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try and pass them.
It was recently discovered that research causes cancer in rats.
Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view.

 

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If you throw a cat out a car window does it become kitty litter?

 

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What would we have called the color orange if it wasn't a fruit?