Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2

[moreluck]

What Women Say ---- And What They REALLY Mean

ARE YOU WILLING TO: This means you better do it.

FINE: This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are right and you need to shut up. Never use "fine" to describe how a woman looks. This will cause you to have one of "those" arguments.

FIVE MINUTES: This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so it's an even trade.

NOTHING: This means "something" and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and will end with the word "Fine".

GO AHEAD (With Raised Eyebrows): This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over "Nothing" and will end with the word "Fine".

GO AHEAD (Normal Eyebrows): This means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care". You will get a "Raised Eyebrow Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by "Nothing" and "Fine", and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when she cools off.

LOUD SIGH: This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment, and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here arguing with you over "Nothing".

SOFT SIGH: Again, not a word, but a non-verbal statement. "Soft Sigh" means that she is content. Your best bet is not to move or breathe, and she will stay content.

THAT'S OKAY: This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you back for whatever it is that you have done. "That's Okay" is often used with the word "Fine" and in conjunction with a "Raised Eyebrow Go Ahead". At some point in the near future, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble.

PLEASE DO: This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance with the truth, so be careful and you shouldn't get a "That's Okay".

THANKS: A woman is thanking you. Do not faint. Just say "you're welcome".

THANKS A LOT: This is much different than "Thanks". A woman will say "Thanks A Lot" when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have offended her in some callous way, and will be followed by the "Loud Sigh". Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh" as she will only tell you "Nothing".

 

[moreluck]

Though I often pride myself on appearing younger than my 59 years, I had a reality check when I brought my mother back to the nursing home after a visit with us. As I struggled with her suitcases, two elderly gentlemen held the door open for me. "We hope you will be very happy here," one of them said to me.

 

[moreluck]

The Italian Golfer.....

An 80-year old Italian man goes to the doctor for a check-up.
The doctor is amazed at what good shape the guy is in and asks,
"How do you stay in such great physical condition?"I'm Italian and I am a golfer," says the old guy,"and that's why I'm in such good shape."
I'm up well before daylight and out golfing up and down the fairways.
Have a glass of vino, and all is well.""Well," says the doctor, "I'm sure that helps, but there's got to be more to it. How old was your Dad when he died?" "Who said my Dad's dead?"The doctor is amazed "You mean you're 80 years old and your Dad's still alive. How old is he?" He's 100 years old," says the old Italian golfer. "In fact he golfed with me this morning,
and then we went to the topless beach for a walk, that's why he's still alive ... he's Italian
and he's a golfer, too." Well the doctor says, "that's great, but I'm sure there's more to it than that. How about your Dad's Dad? How old was he when he died?" Who said my grandpa's dead?"
Stunned, the doctor asks, "You mean you're 80 years old and your grandfather's
still living! Incredible, how old is he?"
"He's 118 year's old, says the old Italian golfer. The doctor is getting frustrted at this
point, " So , I guess he went golfing with you this morning too?"
"No, Grandpa couldn't go this morning because he's getting married today.'
At this point the doctor is losing it.
"Getting married!!! Why would a 118 year-old guy want to get married?"
"Who said he wanted to?"

 

[moreluck]

Child's Perspective.....
When our first child, Isaac, was born, he had a partially collapsed lung and had to be immediately whisked away from us and placed in an Isolette in the intensive-care unit. It was a difficult time for us, not to be able to hold or take care of him. However, a much needed fresh viewpoint was provided for us when our four-year-old niece came to visit and we snuck her in to see her new cousin. When I asked her if she had met Isaac, she cheerfully exclaimed: "Yes, I did. He’s in a treasure box."

 

[moreluck]

DEFINING DIFFERENT HEIGHTS..........

Height of Isolation: Two people sitting side by side using e- mails to communicate with each other.

Height of Cowardice: Two persons fighting through e-mails.

Height of Helplessness: Receiving no e-mails for a week.

Height of Frustration: The email server being down.

Height of Carelessness: Writing a love mail and doing a 'Send All.'

Height of Achievement: A person sending email to a girl/boy wanting to become friends and getting a reply.

Height of Timepass: A person sending email to himself.

 

[moreluck]

Welcome to "The Doo-Wop Oldies Quiz." Take the quiz and see how you score as a true "Oldies Fan". Write down your answers and check them with the answers below.


1. When did "Little Suzie" finally wake up?

a) The movie's over, it's 2 o'clock

b) The movie's over, it's 3 o'clock

c) The movie's over, it's 4 o'clock




2. "Rock Around The Clock" was used in what movie?

a) Rebel Without A Cause

b) Blackboard Jungle

c) The Wild Ones




3. What's missing? _____Baby, Earth_____, _____On My Shoulder



a) Angel

b) Head

c) Love


4. "I found my thrill..." where?

a) Kansas City

b) Heartbreak Hotel

c) Blueberry Hill




5. "Please turn on your magic beam, _____ _____ bring me a dream"

a) Mr. Sandman

b) Earth Angel

c) Dream Lover




6. For which label did Elvis Presley first record?

a) Chancellor

b) RCA

c) Sun




7. He asked, "Why's everybody always pickin' on me? " Who was he?

a) Bad Bad Leroy Brown

b) Charlie Brown

c) Buster Brown




8. Bobby Darin's "Mack The Knife", the one with the knife, was named:

a) MacHeath

b) MacCloud

c) MacNamara




9. Name the song with "A-wop bop a-loo bop a-lop bam boom"?

a) Good Golly Miss Molly

b) Be-Bop-A-Lula

c) Tutti Fruitti




10. Who is generally given credit for the term "Rock And Roll"?

a) Dick Clark

b) Wolfman Jack

c) Alan Freed




11. In 1957, he left the music business to become a preacher.

a) Little Richard

b) Frankie Lymon

c) Tony Orlando




12. Paul Anka's "Puppy Love" is written to what star?

a) Brenda Lee

b) Connie Francis

c) Annette Funicello




13. The Everly Brothers are...

a) Pete and Dick

b) Don and Phil

c) Bob and Bill




14. The Big Bopper's real name was:

a) Jiles P. Richardson

b) Roy Harold Scherer Jr.

c) Marion Michael Morrison




15. In 1959, Berry Gordy Jr. started a small record company called...

a) Decca

b) Cameo

c) Motown




16. Edd Brynes had a hit with "Kookie, Kookie, Lend Me Your Comb. "What TV show was he on?

a) 77 Sunset Strip

b) Hawaiian Eye

c) Surfside Six




17. In 1960 Bobby Darin married:

a) Carol Lynley

b) Sandra Dee

c) Natalie Wood




18. They were a one hit wonder with "Book Of Love."

a) The Penguins

b) The Monotones

c) The Moonglows













Answers:

1. c) The movie's over, it's 4 o'clock

2. b) Blackboard Jungle

3. a) Angel

4. c) Blueberry Hill

5. a) Mr. Sandman

6. c) Sun

7. b) Charlie Brown

8. a) Mac Heath

9. c) Tutti Fruitti

10. c) Alan Freed

11. a) Little Richard

12. c) Annette Funicello

13. b) Don and Phil

14. a) Jiles P. Richardson

15. c) Motown

16. a) 77 Sunset Strip

17. b) Sandra Dee

18. b) The Monotones

 

[moreluck]

THINGS I'VE LEARNED LIVING IN OKLAHOMA

Possums sleep in the middle of the road with their feet in the air.

There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 living in OKLAHOMA.

There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 live in OKLAHOMA plus a couple
No one's seen before.

If it grows, it sticks; if it crawls, it bites.

Onced and twiced are words.

It is not a shopping cart; it is a buggy.

People actually grow and eat okra.

Fixin'to is one word.

There is no such thing as 'lunch.' There is only dinner and then there is
Supper.

Iced tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you're
Two. We do like a little tea with our sugar!

Backards and forwards means 'I know everything about you.'

DJeet? Is actually a phrase meaning 'Did you eat?'

You don't have to wear a watch because it doesn't matter what time it is.
You work until you're done or it's too dark to see.

You don't PUSH buttons, you MASH them.

YOU KNOW YOUR FROM OKLAHOMA IF:

You measure distance in minutes.

You've ever had to switch from 'heat' to 'A/C' and back to 'heat' in a 24
Hour periond.

You use 'fix' as a verb. Example: 'I'm fixin to go to the store.'

All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable,
Grain, insect or animal.

You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both
Unlocked.

You know what a 'DAWG' is.

You carry jumper cables in your car . . . For your OWN car.

You only own four spices: salt, pepper, Tabasco and ketchup.

The local papers cover national and international news on one page, but
Require 6 pages for local gossip and sports.

You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday.

You find 100 degrees Fahrenheit 'a little warm.'

You know all four seasons: Almost Summer, Summer, still Summer and
Christmas.

Going to Wal-mart is a favorite past time known as'goin' Wal-martin' or off
To 'Wally World.'

You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good pinto-bean
Weather.

A carbonated soft drink isn't a soda, cola or pop . . it's a Coke,
Regardless of brand or flavor. Example: 'What kinda coke you want?'

Fried catfish is the other white meat.

We don't need no stinking driver's Ed . . . If our mama says we can drive,
We can drive.

 

[moreluck]

The Value of a Drink

"Sometimes when I reflect back on all the wine I drink
I feel shame. Then I look into the glass and think
about the workers in the vineyards and all of their hopes
and dreams .. If I didn't drink this wine, they might be out
of work and their dreams would be shattered.
Then I say to myself, "It is better that I drink this wine and let
their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver."
~ Jack Handy~

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the
hell happened to your bra and panties.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they
wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're
going to feel all day. "
~Frank Sinatra ~

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you
are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."
~ Henny Youngman ~

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are
laughing WITH you.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not."
~ Stephen Wright ~

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can
sing.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk,
we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin.
When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all
get drunk and go to heaven!"
~ Brian O'Rourke ~

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
~ Benjamin Franklin ~

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like
a .
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Without question, the greatest invention in the
history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the
wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does
not go nearly as well with pizza."
~ Dave Barry ~

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends
over and over again that you love them.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
To some, it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group. Salvation in a
can!
~Dave Howell ~

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can
logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And saving the best for last, as explained by Cliff Clavin,of Cheers.
One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff Clavin was explaining the Buffalo
Theory to his buddy Norm. Here's how it went:
" Well ya see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only
move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the
slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first This natural
selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of
the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest
members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the
slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain
cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In
this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making
the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel
smarter after a few beers."

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are
whispering when you are not.

 

[moreluck]

HOW TO DRIVE IN FLORIDA

1. You must first learn to pronounce the name, it is: "FLAAAAARIDA".

2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 AM to noon. The evening rush hour is
from noon to 8:00 PM. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.

3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 85 mph. On I-95 your
speed is expected to match the highway number. Anything less is grounds to
run you off the road while giving you the finger.

4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Florida has its own
version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest muffler
go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires go second.
However, SUV cell phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.

5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended, cussed
out, and possibly shot.

6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can
get you shot.

7. Road construction is permanent and continuous in Florida. Detour barrels
are moved around for your entertainment pleasure during the middle of the
night to make the next day's driving a bit more exciting

10. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been accidentally activated."

11. Merge means race like a madman and cut the person in line off or
better yet ---run them off the road.

12. For summer driving, it is advisable to wear potholders on your hands.

13. If you are going to yell anything out the window, make sure it is in Spanish.

 

[traveler]

Jersey Driving Rules



The minimum acceptable speed on the turnpike is 85 mph. On the parkway it's 105 or 110. Anything less is considered "Wussy."

If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended, cussed out, and possibly shot.

Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can get you shot.

Road construction is permanent and continuous in all of New Jersey. Detour barrels are moved around regularly for your entertainment and keeping you on your toes.

MapQuest does not work here -- none of the roads are where they say they are or go where they say they do and all the Turnpike EZ pass lanes are relocated each night once again to make your ride more exciting.

If you are in the left lane and only driving 70 in a 55-65mph zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off" accordingly. If you return the flip, you could just get shot.

Turn signals will give away your next move. A real New Jersey driver never uses them.

Under no circumstances should you leave a safe distance between you and the car in front of you,or the space will be filled in by somebody else putting you in an even more dangerous situation.

Crossing two or more lanes in a single lane-change is considered going with the flow.

The faster you drive through a red light, the smaller the chance you have of getting hit.

A right lane construction closure is just a game to see how many people can cut in line by passing you on the right as you sit in the left lane waiting for the same jerks to squeeze their way back in before hitting the orange construction barrels.

Never get in the way of an older car that needs extensive bodywork. New Jersey is a no-fault insurance state and the other guy doesn't have anything to lose.

Braking is to be done as hard and late as possible to ensure that your ABS kicks in, giving a nice, relaxing foot massage as the brake pedal pulsates. For those of you without ABS, it's a chance to stretch your legs.

Never pass on the left when you can pass on the right. It's a good way to scare people entering the highway.

Speed limits are arbitrary figures, given only as suggestions and are apparently not enforceable in New Jersey during rush hour.

Just because you're in the left lane and have no room to speed up or move over doesn't mean that a New Jersey driver flashing his high beams behind you doesn't think he can go faster in your spot.

Learn to swerve abruptly. New Jersey is the home of high-speed slalom driving thanks to the State Highway Department, which puts potholes in key locations to test drivers' reflexes and keep them on their toes.

It is traditional in New Jersey to honk your horn at cars that don't move the instant the light changes.

Remember that the goal of every New Jersey driver is to get there first,by whatever means necessary.

Real New Jersey men drivers can remove their girlfriend's panties and bra at seventy-five miles per hour or in bumper-to-bumper traffic.

In the New Jersey area 'flipping someone the bird' is considered a polite New Jersey salute. This gesture should always be returned.

Seeking eye contact with another driver revokes your right of way.

All unmarked exits on the Parkway lead to downtown Newark.

 

[moreluck]

The results of statistics..........

1.Ten percent of all car thieves are left-handed
2. All polar bears are left-handed
3. If your car is stolen, there's a 10 percent chance it was taken by a Polar bear

1. 39 percent of unemployed men wear spectacles
2. 80 percent of employed men wear spectacles
3. Work stuffs up your eyesight

1.All dogs are animals
2. All cats are animals
3. Therefore, all dogs are cats

1. A total of 4000 cans are opened around the world every second
2. Ten babies are conceived around the world every second
3. Each time you open a can, you stand a 1 in 400 chance of becoming pregnant

 

[moreluck]

Being Irish means...

* you will never play professional basketball

* you swear very well

* at least one of your cousins holds political office

* you think you sing very well

* you have no idea how to make a long story short

* you are very good at playing a lot of very bad golf

* there isn't a huge difference between losing your temper and killing someone

* much of your food was boiled

* you have never hit your head on the ceiling

* you spent a good portion of your childhood kneeling

* you're strangely poetic after a few beers

* you're poetic a lot

* you will be punched for no good reason...a lot

* some punches directed at you are legacies from past generations

* your sister will punch you because your brother punched her

* many of your sisters are Catherine, Elizabeth or Mary...and one is Mary Catherine Elizabeth

* someone in your family is incredibly cheap

* it is more than likely you

* you don't know the words but that doesn't stop you from singing

* you can't wait for the other guy to stop talking so you can start talking

* "Irish Stew" is the euphemism for "boiled leftovers from the fridge"

* you're not nearly as funny as you think you are, but what you lack in

talent, you make up for in frequency

* there wasn't a huge difference between your last wake and your last kegger party

* you are, or know someone, named "Murph"

* if you don't know Murph, then you know "Mac"

* if you don't know Murph or Mac, then you know "Sully"

* you'll probably also know Sully McMurphy

* you are genetically incapable of keeping a secret

* your parents were on a first name basis with everyone at the local emergency room

and last but not least... Being Irish means...

* your attention span is so short that---oh, forget it.

 

[moreluck]

Louisiana - You have to love this lawyer.

A New Orleans lawyer sought an FHA loan for a client who lost his house in Hurricane Katrina and wanted to rebuild.

He was told the loan would be granted if he could prove satisfactory title to the parcel of property being offered as collateral. The title to the property dated back to 1803, which took the Lawyer three months to track down. After sending the information to the FHA, he received the following reply.

(Actual letter):
"Upon review of your letter adjoining your client's loan application, we note that the request is supported by an Abstract of Title. While we compliment the able manner in which you have prepared and presented the application, we must point out that you have only cleared title to the proposed collateral property back to 1803. Before final approval can be accorded, it will be necessary to clear the title back to its origin."

Annoyed, the lawyer responded as follows:

(Actual Letter):
"Your letter regarding title in Case No. 189156 has been received. I note that you wish to have title extended further than the 194 years covered by the present application. I was unaware that any educated person in this country, particularly those working in the property area, would not know that Louisiana was purchased, by the U.S., from France in 1803, the year of origin identified in our application.

For the edification of uninformed FHA bureaucrats, the title to the land prior to U.S. ownership was obtained from France, which had acquired it by Right of Conquest from Spain. The land came into the possession of Spain by Right of Discovery made in the year 1492 by a sea captain named Christopher Columbus, who had been granted the privilege of seeking a new route to India by the Spanish monarch, Isabella.

The good queen, Isabella, being a pious woman and almost as careful about titles as the FHA, took the precaution of securing the blessing of the Pope before she sold her jewels to finance Columbus' expedition. Now the Pope, as I'm sure you may know, is the emissary of Jesus Christ, the Son of God, and God, it is commonly accepted, created this world.

Therefore, I believe it is safe to presume that God also made the world as we know it AND the FHA know it, and also that part of the world called Louisiana. God, therefore, would be the owner of origin and His origins date back to before the beginning of time. I hope you find God's original claim to be satisfactory. Now, may we have our damn loan?"

He got the loan.

 

[moreluck]

Cleaning Poem

I asked the Lord to tell me
Why my house is such a mess.
He asked if I'd been 'computering',
And I had to answer "yes."

He told me to get off my fanny
And tidy up the house.
And so I started cleaning up...
The smudges off my mouse.

I wiped and shined the topside.
That really did the trick...
I was just admiring my work...
I didn't mean to 'click.'

But click, I did, and oops I found
A real absorbing site,
That I got SO way into...
I was into it all night. <<Sigh>>

Nothing's changed except my mouse
It's very, very shiny.
I guess my house will stay a mess...
While I sit here on my hiney.

 

[moreluck]

ESTATE PLANNING 101

When Dan found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly
father died, he decided he needed a woman to enjoy it with.

So, one evening he went to a singles bar where he spotted the most
beautiful woman he had ever seen.

Her natural beauty took his breath away. "I may look like just an
ordinary man," he said as he walked up to her, "but in just a week or two,
my father will die, and I'll inherit 20 million dollars."

Impressed, the woman went home with him that evening and, three days
later, she became his stepmother.

Women are so much smarter than men.

 

[moreluck]

While on a road trip, an elderly couple stopped at a roadside restaurant for lunch.

After finishing their meal, they left the restaurant and resumed their trip.

When leaving, the elderly woman unknowingly left her glasses on the table and she didn't miss them until they had been driving about twenty minutes.

By then, to add to the aggravation, they had to travel quite a distance
before they could find a place to turn around in order to return to the
restaurant to retrieve her glasses.

All the way back, the elderly husband became the classic grouchy old man. He fussed and complained and scolded his wife relentlessly during the entire return drive. The more he chided her, the more agitated he became. He just wouldn't let up one minute.

To her relief, they finally arrived at the restaurant. As the woman got out of the car and hurried inside to retrieve her glasses, the old geezer yelled to her, "While you're in there, you might as well get my hat and credit card."

 

[moreluck]

A man was wandering around a fairground and he happened to see a fortune-teller's tent. Thinking it would be good for a laugh, he went inside and sat down. "Ah....." said the woman as she gazed into her crystal ball. "I see you are the father of two children." "That's what you think," said the man scornfully. "I'm the father of THREE children." The woman grinned and said, "That's what YOU think."

 

[hdkappler]

more luck?supermarket what would the condom section

 

[moreluck]

Old Fingers

An old man of 70 married a young girl of 18. When they got into bed the night after the wedding, he held up three fingers.

"Oh honey", said the young nympho, "Does that mean we're going to do it three times?"

"No", said the old man, "It means you can take your pick."

 

[moreluck]

4 Irishmen........

There's these four Irishmen in a bar, all drinking Guinness. One of them
is looking rather puzzled, so another turns to him and asks him what's the matter.

1st Irishman: Well, I was just trying to remember what 2 plus 2 is.

2nd Irishman: Oh, that's easy, it's 147.

1st Irishman: No no no, that can't be right. How about you, Fergus, do you know what 2 plus 2 is?

3rd Irishman: Hmmm ... could it be Wednesday, perhaps?

1st Irishman: No no no, that doesn't sound right either. How about you Pat, do you know?

4th Irishman: Simple, the answer is 4.

1st Irishman: Of course! How did you work it out?!

4th Irishman: Aha, that's where brains come in! I subtracted 147 from Wednesday!