Things said in front of customers.

overallowed

Well-Known Member
I asked a female customer once when she was due to have her baby and she informed me icily that she wasn't pregnant. I could have crawled out *under* the door. I'll never do that again. Ever.
When I was about 10 my dad told me to NEVER ask a woman if she was pregnant, this, after I asked one of the fat ladies in our church how long was she gonna be pregnant. If she wants you to know, she'll tell you.
 

Cementups

Box Monkey
About 15 years ago I'm delivering to a doctor's office and walk in and I'm soaking wet. It's about 95º out and the humidity was through the roof. One of the cute nurses says to me, "You look hot." I stopped, winked at her (making sure everyone else saw) and said, "Thank you. You're not too bad yourself," and kept on walking. When I came back the next day the other women said she was super embarrassed and would run and hide when I came in after that. It was two weeks until she showed her face again.
 

Cementups

Box Monkey
And as far as the pregnant thing, I usually spin it the other way.
There is a girl who works at one of my stops now who was just about 9 months pregnant. I turned and said to her one day, "you better lay off the Triscuits. You're getting a bit fat lately." She says with a laugh, "I'm pregnant you :censored2:." And I follow with the dumb sounding, "Ahhhhhhhh, that makes much more sense."
 

soberups

Pees in the brown Koolaid
I was delivering an irreg to a house, handtrucking it around to the back door, when a yellowjacket flew up inside my nose and stung me. The pain was immediate and excruciating. It took me by surprised and scared me, and I dropped the handcart and screamed "mother fu//er!!!" as I clawed at my face in pain. What I didn't know was that the customer, an elderly woman who was active in a local church, was sitting in a lawn chair about 5 feet away. I turned and saw her and was horrified by my language as well as being in agony. She stood up from her chair, walked over to me, and said...."yellowjacket? I hate those mother fuc//ing things!" and then winked at me and went inside and got me an icepack.
 

Brownslave688

You want a toe? I can get you a toe.
had a similar delivery. I was delivering a couple cases of Monovie to a house when a fella in his late 20's early 30's told me to go ahead and send it back because it doesn't work, "my Father died last week"

question: why did they take the "deceased" option out of the diad for non delivery?
This iS the one some what embarrassing thing I've had happen. Walked. 1/2 mile to the house. No joe died 3 weeks ago please refuse all meds from now on.
 

Brownslave688

You want a toe? I can get you a toe.
I was delivering an irreg to a house, handtrucking it around to the back door, when a yellowjacket flew up inside my nose and stung me. The pain was immediate and excruciating. It took me by surprised and scared me, and I dropped the handcart and screamed "mother fu//er!!!" as I clawed at my face in pain. What I didn't know was that the customer, an elderly woman who was active in a local church, was sitting in a lawn chair about 5 feet away. I turned and saw her and was horrified by my language as well as being in agony. She stood up from her chair, walked over to me, and said...."yellowjacket? I hate those mother fuc//ing things!" and then winked at me and went inside and got me an icepack.
I had a customer not too long ago drop the board. She said OH :censored2:. Then turned beet red. I said don't worry honey I've heard much worse.
 
Z

ZQXC

Guest
I had a customer not too long ago drop the board. She said OH :censored2:. Then turned beet red. I said don't worry honey I've heard much worse.

When one of my customers lets a profanity slip, like that, I usually reply "Time Out for (name)."
Get past it with a laugh.
 

Covemastah

Hoopah drives the boat Chief !!
I learned my first month that you don't walk into a funeral home yelling Hello UPS at the top of your lungs !! The director set me straight on that right away !!
 

bottomups

Bad Moon Risen'
Made a delivery on a pretty cold day last winter. Handed the DIAD to the receptionist and she said rather loudly "Your little thingy is pretty cold today!" I replied so the whole office could hear "You're right, there is a little shrinkage going on. Tomorrow I'll wear my Under Armour!"
 

soberups

Pees in the brown Koolaid
One thing I have learned in my 27 years here is that, as a driver, you should never pass up on a golden opportunity to keep your mouth shut.
 

Covemastah

Hoopah drives the boat Chief !!
One thing I have learned in my 27 years here is that, as a driver, you should never pass up on a golden opportunity to keep your mouth shut.
Aint that the truth Sober,,sad that some don't have the common sense to and are loooong gone !!
 

soberups

Pees in the brown Koolaid
Avoid discussing the "three P's" with customers.

That would be: Politics, Professional (work) issues and Personal issues, either yours or theirs.

Stick with the weather, or sports, or inconsequential feel-good stuff like pets or how well their garden is doing. Be boring. Boring is safe and professional and it keeps you out of trouble.
 

sailfish

Master of Karate and Friendship for Everyone
I often forget I'm not in my personal car and I'm driving around with my doors open so when I see a good looking girl walking I have to catch myself from saying "Nice ass, baby."
 

TooTechie

Geek in Brown
In the front or back?
If there is a bush in the back...you're doing it wrong.

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