Unbelievable...update on FMLA situation

[BUCN85]

Is it?

Keep in mind that FMLA is unpaid leave and that the OP has been a FT driver for less than a year. I don't know about you but when I was a new(er) driver we lived paycheck to paycheck.

Shortly after our divorce my ex FIL developed cancer. Her family looked to my ex for guidance as she is an RN. The strain of ensuring that he was being properly taken care of and having to deal with her family while still working FT started to get to her. She privately admitted that it was nice to go to work so that she wouldn't have to deal with all of the pressure.

MyTripIsCut has been relaying the strain that having his ill FIL living with them has had on his family. I would be willing to bet that he would privately admit that it is nice to get out of the house and go to work.

Well actually I have been FT going on 3 years now. As far as other family or friends taking her to appointments we have made future arrangements so I don't have to miss work because you are right. Still a newer driver money is tight. But unfortunately we do not have a lot of resources to give me some relief.

 

[UpstateNYUPSer(Ret)]

I took 2 months of FMLA to take care of my wife when she had back surgery.
I would probably rather been at work but I would do it all over again.

Would you have been able to do it as a new(er) driver?

 

[UpstateNYUPSer(Ret)]

Well actually I have been FT going on 3 years now. As far as other family or friends taking her to appointments we have made future arrangements so I don't have to miss work because you are right. Still a newer driver money is tight. But unfortunately we do not have a lot of resources to give me some relief.

Having a strong support network is immeasurable.

 

[Catatonic]

Would you have been able to do it as a new(er) driver?

I was 46.
Probably not.

 

[BUCN85]

I can understand the companies position that you should be able to work on Saturday, as needed.

Well it was this particular Saturday in which I told them 2 weeks in advance I'm not going to come in. It was the day after chemo treatment and my wife becomes very weak..tired. And has become very nauseous so I need to be here to take care of her and our son until I'm able to get some help watching our son then all care is focused towards her.

 

[Jones]

Well it was this particular Saturday in which I told them 2 weeks in advance I'm not going to come in. It was the day after chemo treatment and my wife becomes very weak..tired. And has become very nauseous so I need to be here to take care of her and our son until I'm able to get some help watching our son then all care is focused towards her.

You don't owe anyone an explanation for taking care of your wife.

 

[10 Pt]

I am very sorry for what you and your wife are going through and am equally upset that the company is dicking you around on this. It is none of their business other than ensuring that they are adhering to the letter of the law. They have no right to call her doctors---period.

This may be none of my business but are you the only one who is available to take care of her? Are there any other family members or close friends who can pitch in and help out on an occasional basis? Working may help to take your mind off of what is happening at home and in no way diminishes the level of concern that you have for her well being.

While I can understand your position that you should be able to use FMLA as needed during the week, I can understand the companies position that you should be able to work on Saturday, as needed.

Says the single male.
You always look our for the company.
Happy Mother's Day.

 

[10 Pt]

Is it?

Keep in mind that FMLA is unpaid leave and that the OP has been a FT driver for less than a year. I don't know about you but when I was a new(er) driver we lived paycheck to paycheck.

Shortly after our divorce my ex FIL developed cancer. Her family looked to my ex for guidance as she is an RN. The strain of ensuring that he was being properly taken care of and having to deal with her family while still working FT started to get to her. She privately admitted that it was nice to go to work so that she wouldn't have to deal with all of the pressure.

MyTripIsCut has been relaying the strain that having his ill FIL living with them has had on his family. I would be willing to bet that he would privately admit that it is nice to get out of the house and go to work.

I wouldn't miss one day taking care of the woman I promised to love and cherish in sickness and in health.
Save your false sympathy.

 

[UpstateNYUPSer(Ret)]

I wouldn't miss one day taking care of the woman I promised to love and cherish in sickness and in health.
Save your false sympathy.
You are an As*.

I have been called worse by better.

 

[10 Pt]

I have been called worse by better.

They were correct as well.

 

[Catatonic]

I wouldn't miss one day taking care of the woman I promised to love and cherish in sickness and in health.
Save your false sympathy.

I think we can gain more insight into Dave's personality if one considers "empathy" and indifference to others emotions.
Dave obviously feels emotions for his family but is unable to feel and consider the emotional states of others ... it's not that uncommon.

Note: I am not Dr Phil but I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night.

 

[10 Pt]

You don't owe anyone an explanation for taking care of your wife.

Especially when it's a single know it all.
I don't know of any people watching their spouses struggle that say "well, I'm glad I stayed at work and left her to battle this alone".
Pathetic.

 

[10 Pt]

I think we can gain more insight into Dave's personality if one considers "empathy" and indifference to others emotions.
Dave obviously feels emotions for his family but is unable to feel and consider the emotional states of others ... it's not that uncommon.

Or..
Disconnected company butt kisser.

I don't want to gain insight into his personality. Thanks anyway.

 

[UpstateNYUPSer(Ret)]

I think we can gain more insight into Dave's personality if one considers "empathy" and indifference to others emotions.
Dave obviously feels emotions for his family but is unable to feel and consider the emotional states of others ... it's not that uncommon.

Thank you Dr. Phil.

I just think that there is a way to balance the roles of caretaker and breadwinner.

I can fully appreciate the OP scheduling chemo for a Friday so that he is available to be with her and his son on the weekend. As we have learned from moreluck, the day after chemo can be worse than the procedure itself.

That being said, I can understand the need for the company to run a business.

 

[UpstateNYUPSer(Ret)]

Especially when it's a single know it all.
I don't know of any people watching their spouses struggle that say "well, I'm glad I stayed at work and left her to battle this alone".
Pathetic.

Please show me where I said this.

I'll wait.

 

[Catatonic]

Thank you Dr. Phil.

I just think that there is a way to balance the roles of caretaker and breadwinner.

I can fully appreciate the OP scheduling chemo for a Friday so that he is available to be with her and his son on the weekend. As we have learned from moreluck, the day after chemo can be worse than the procedure itself.

That's not good ... I was trying to give you a way out of appearing to be be an uncaring .

 

[Catatonic]

Please show me where I said this.

I'll wait.

Alternate facts.

 

[10 Pt]

Working may help to take your mind off of what is happening at home and in no way diminishes the level of concern that you have for her well being.

I can understand the companies position that you should be able to work on Saturday, as needed.

Wait no longer...
You offer your conjecture that his being at work might be better and doesn't diminish the level of concern blah blah blah.

The second paragraph really says it all.
Nice try Joe Company.

 

[BUCN85]

Thank you Dr. Phil.

I just think that there is a way to balance the roles of caretaker and breadwinner.

I can fully appreciate the OP scheduling chemo for a Friday so that he is available to be with her and his son on the weekend. As we have learned from moreluck, the day after chemo can be worse than the procedure itself.

That being said, I can understand the need for the company to run a business.

Actually I didn't schedule anything. The clinic mailed us schedule in early April with all of her chemo appointments for the duration of treatment. When other appointments come up we try to schedule them all on the same day. We hate driving 2 hrs to these appointments more than once a week

 

[Catatonic]

When other appointments come up we try to schedule them all on the same day. We hate driving 2 hrs to these appointments more than once a week

I can imagine that makes it much worse overall.
My cousin had to travel a couple of hours over mountains for treatment.
He said that made the whole process worse.