You know you're a UPS driver if...

[redrooster]

If you know who is getting sex toys in your city.

 

[JL 0513]

...if you can draw with incredible accuracy a picture of thousands of different addresses, just by knowing the address.

 

[Jackburton]

If you hear "Wow, you sure are working late, every other day"

 

[AKupser]

...when you ask: so are your in-law's the ones Horn's on Millbay or Mission?

 

[AKupser]

.....when you tell the guy at the hardware store giving you a bad time that his mom and/or grandma will hear about this when I see them later.

 

[redrooster]

In the winter people ask you "where are your long pants?" (May be a Texas thing)

 

[joeboodog]

In the winter people ask you "where are your long pants?" (May be a Texas thing)

Up north they will ask in January "where are your shorts?"

 

[ZQXC]

If you know that a particular car does not belong with the house where you see it parked on a Wednesday afternoon while husband is at work.........

And , if you're really good, you may even know whose car it is.

 

[Covemastah]

You wake up on the couch Christmas morning at 5 am still in Browns cuz you passed out there at 3 am after putting together a doll house , a little tykes kitchen set ,a parking garage hot wheels toy with instructions in Japanese OR Spanish only and the kids screaming Santa came! ( young guys!!! cherish these Christmases, they go by to fast )

 

[overallowed]

I once delivered porno movies to our pastors house. I didn't tell anyone other than my Mrs., but soon afterward he quit and left town.

 

[bleedinbrown58]

If your hands always look dirty no matter how much you scrub them. Even with grit soap.

Lava soap and a fingernail brush...use the brush to scrub under your nails...and scrub your palms and finger with the brush too. Do it right after you shower...the shower helps loosen the hand grime...your hands will clean up pretty good.

 

[oldngray]

Lava soap and a fingernail brush...use the brush to scrub under your nails...and scrub your palms and finger with the brush too. Do it right after you shower...the shower helps loosen the hand grime...your hands will clean up pretty good.

Just have a tank of lye to dunk your hands in after work.

 

[bleedinbrown58]

Just have a tank of lye to dunk your hands in after work.

lol pretty much. I won't wear gloves at work...my hands get pretty filthy....lol

 

[Brown58]

....you walk at such a fast pace that your wife has to jog to keep up

I totally get this one and I think that I am walking slow.

 

[Brown58]

You are always tired.

You let your wife drive on weekends.

I hate driving on the weekend. It scares me, knowing what I know.

 

[Brown58]

...you don't step foot into Walmart, unless you are being paid by Brown.

 

[Brown58]

...you have a Retirement count down clock on your smart phone, so you know the millisecond that you get to 80 and then you are out.

 

[Brown58]

I'm not a dirtbag & I refuse to disrespect somebody's lawn. I don't whiz in my own yard, so why would I do it in yours? And superballs, I start my rezis about 1 o clock or so. That's 3 1/2 hrs til pickups start. Figure it out.

It's just grass. Dog piss on it, birds on it, and I will too.

 

[Anonymous 11]

No DR bags handy?

A shart doesn't wait sometimes.

 

[Brown58]

...the tip of your index finger is the only part of your hand that is clean, but you breathing is just fine.