Five Questions....

[bluntforce]

With yesterday being a late freight day and frustrations running high, I decided during the late afternoon to make a note of my top five questions of the day. Many on here may have heard these questions from customers before. So without further hesitation, here it is.
5. Do you want a dog?
4. What is it?
3. Where you been?
2. Is that the air package we've been waiting on?
1. Do you have any stamps?​

My thoughts at the the end of the day were just followed by

 

[dezguy]

​

5. Do you want a dog?
4. What is it?
3. Where you been?
2. Is that the air package we've been waiting on?
1. Do you have any stamps?​

​

5.) Deadpan and say yes. Usually throws the customer off and they don't know what to say.
4.) Looks like a box/envelope to me...
3.) I was taking a dump.
2.) You ordered it so I assume you're waiting for it...
1.) Yes, that'll be $100.

 

[BootsOnTarmac]

A relative of mine who is an Express courier in Ohio was offered a choice of kittens during a delivery stop. My relative stopped back with her daughter after hours to pickup a kitten. The recipients daughter was crying that she had to give up one of the litter. My relatives daughter and the recipients daughter are now new best friends. Go figure.

 

[MAKAVELI]

My personal favorite. Did you know FedEx and UPS are going to merge?

 

[Operational needs]

Lol. So far on my route I've been offered a horse, a goat, a puppy, a guinea hen and a peacock baby. Umm, thanks, but no.

 

[McFeely]

I'm still waiting on my prize from this one.

 

[Route 66]

My personal favorite. Did you know FedEx and UPS are going to merge?

ahhh yes!....and it's always such fun to fall down on the floor and LMFAO like it's the very first time I ever heard it.

 

[vantexan]

Lol. So far on my route I've been offered a horse, a goat, a puppy, a guinea hen and a peacock baby. Umm, thanks, but no.

Had a man who was dying ask me to take his Bassett Hound. I couldn't afford to, already had two dogs. He really wanted to see his dog cared for before passing.

 

[!Retired!]

Did you ever notice the arrow in the logo?
Have you seen the movie 'Castaway'?

 

[Route 66]

and for those of us who go waaay back "let's hear how fast you can talk" - to which I'd always point out that the fast-talking guy in the commercial is actually the customer....so, how 'bout let me hear you talk fast, Wiseass.

 

[Oldfart]

Customer
What is it?

My reply
I don't know, I haven't had a chance to open your box, I was too busy opening everyone else's.