For the past year or so my wife and I have been having alot of issues and divorce has been brought up several times. It really got me thinking. We got married when I was part time. At that time I was del. sat air and working mowing grass during the day. She is an RN working 12hr shifts 3 days a week. So we were both working alot.
A couple of years go by and I go full time. Shes on my insurance and finds out she can go "part time" while getting an $8hr raise for dropping her insurance and paid time off. She starts to see how much money I am bringing in and looks for a new "part time" job at the hospital so now she basically picks her own schedule and works 3-4 8hr shifts.
For some reason is has bothered me that I work 50+ hrs a week and she only works 24-32. (I worked 1000 hours more than her last year) I feel that her share around the house is slacking and I never get to relax because of things that need to do around the house. Mind you we have no kids.
What it comes down to is that she will never understand what UPSers go through. The hours, weather, crazy drivers, physical labor, and the mental struggle can take a toll on a person and marriage.
We have considered it but both agreed counseling wouldnt help. We do communicate really so that was a plus.
You are frustrated with her and it sounds like either she doesn't know, or doesn't care. Are you really communicating?
We have talked I feel like it my job was ok with her. I just dont do anything during the week. Shes goes out shopping and to eat with friends and I come home make dinner and go to bed. When the weekend comes all I can think about is house work and yard work that needs to be done.
Sounds like you are more jealous of what she gets to do.
I agree nursing is not easy I used to hear the stories. She worked on a cancer floor then spent over a year in the ER. no doubt 12 are tough, I had alot more understanding and respect for her. Now she sits in an office calling people before they come in to surgery. I'm not at top rate only a little over $24/hr but she is making $4/hr more than me.
Many people say all drivers do is drive around all day and deliver "letters". What a great job!, I wish I had that job. Yet, we all know a drivers job is difficult. Even if "all she does" is call people, how do we know how stressful it is? Just like she may not understand what a driver does.
She hardly cooks, and I knew that when we got married, but I enjoy cooking its just hard to do getting home from work after 8. We both clean, I am way more anal about it than her, and most of the time we grocery shop together. I take care of the cars, yard, do most all of my laundry. Its hard coming home from work and she is sitting on the couch and doesn't even acknowledge me walking in the door. We have a dog and most of the time I think to myself just run the vacuum and clean up the dog hair.
So you know she didn't cook and that's OK, but sounds like it is still frustrating.
HA I have no life right now. Ill go out and get a few cold ones on a saturday night but other than that I dont do much.
Again, sounds like you are jealous, and possibly more upset with your own job of working 50+ hours.
I hate the idea of going through divorce, it sounds like your UPS job working 50+ hours a week iss more important to you then marriage vows. What if you gave up your job and worked a 40 hour week elsewhere? Maybe study to become a nurse like her?
My point is, in other posts you are frustrated that on weekends you "have to do yardwork" but later say you don't mind it and don't want to pay someone for something you can do. How about for a couple of months you put in your 8 hour requests. You hire a kid to do the yard work, you hire a maid to clean the clothes. When you come home, put a real effort into greeting her and talking with her. Maybe it won't do anything and two months or so later, you are more convinced for a divorce. Or maybe, in two months your marriage is much better off. Put the effort to save the marriage (if it can be). The worst that happens is you waste a few months trying.
. Also get a good attorney one that knows how to handle themselves in a court room not one that always settles out of court.
