Good Quotes

[moreluck]

Not only is life a bitch, but it is always having puppies." (Adrienne E. Gusoff)
The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces.

"Music washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life." (Berthold Auerbach)

"The difference between friends and pets is that friends we allow into our company, pets we allow into our solitude." (Robert Brault)

"A new medical study says that meat can almost be as bad for you as smoking. You know what's really bad? Second-hand meat." --Jay Leno

Being overweight just sort of snacks up on you.

 

[moreluck]

Scientists announced that they have located the gene for alcoholism. Scientists say they found it at a party, talking way too loudly." --Conan O'Brien-
If owls hoot at night, expect fair weather.

"Life is a great big canvas, and you should throw all the paint on it you can." (Danny Kaye)

 

[moreluck]

Enthusiasm can be like a fire that needs an occasional poke with a stick.

 

[moreluck]

"Remember boys, flies spread disease so keep yours closed." (General Taylor?)

Why does it take so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?

I try to take life one day at a time, but lately several days have attacked me at once.

Every person is a fool for at least five minutes every day... Wisdom consists of not exceeding the limit.

You can make Money, But money can not make you.

 

[moreluck]

"The elderly don't drive that badly; they're just the only ones with time to do the speed limit." (Jason Love)

It's important to have a twinkle in your wrinkle.

From a church bulletin: "Coming up...Theological Open House. We discuss thought-provoking topics. Your opinions are hardly welcome."

 

[moreluck]

One local store put up an interesting sign: "if you're interested in finding out if there's life after death, try robbing this store."

Praise loudly,blame softly.

Sometimes silence is golden, other times it is just plain yellow.

 

[moreluck]

An old-timer is someone who remembers every detail of their life story, but cannot remember how many times they have told the same person.

The big problem with "fast" food is that it slows down when it hits your stomach. And it just parks there...and lets the fat have time to get off and apply for citizenship.

Beat me with the truth, don't torture me with lies.

 

[moreluck]

The best way to drive you wife crazy is to smile in your sleep.

I've learned the same thing about my garden that Adam and Eve learned about theirs: It's best to follow instructions.

 

[moreluck]

LOVE QUOTES........

• Loving is not just looking at each other, it's looking in the same direction- Antoine de Saint
• Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love- Albert Einstein
• Love - a terribly misunderstood emotion, although highly desirable malfunction of the heart which weakens the brain, causes eyes to sparkle, cheeks to glow, blood pressure to rise and the lips to pucker.,
• You have to walk carefully in the beginning of love; the running across fields into your lover's arms can only come later when you're sure they won't laugh if you trip- Jonathan Carroll
• Who, being loved, is poor? - Oscar Wilde
• Time is too slow for those who wait, too swift for those who fear, too long for those who grieve, too short for those who rejoice, but for those who love, time is eternity- Henry Van Dyke
• Take away love and our earth is a tomb-Robert Bro
• Love makes your soul crawl out from its hiding place- Zora Neale Hurston
• Love is a game that two can play and both win by loosing their heart- Eva Gabor.
• We don't believe in rheumatism and true love until after the first attack- Marie Ebner Von Eschenbach

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[moreluck]

A little government and a little luck are necessary in life, but only a fool trusts either of them.

All men are not homeless, but some men are home less than others.

"Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm." (Winston Churchill)

You may have grown old, but you may not have grown up.

Every act of kindness we do touches another’s heart. Every bit of goodness we share makes the world a better place. Every choice for love we make brings us and those around us closer to God.

"Come, little leaves," said the wind one day, "Come o'er the meadows with me and play: Put on your dresses of red and gold - For summer is gone and the days grow cold."

 

[moreluck]

"Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke." (Will Rogers)

Love's a peculiar thing. In order to get it, you have to give it. And when you get it, you have to give it back to keep it.

I still have a full deck; I just shuffle slower now.

Time is Nature's way of making sure that everything doesn't go wrong all at once.

"Never sit on the toilet, while the plunger is still in it." (Steve Dilla)

I find it hard to make ends meet - ends like my fingers and toes.

 

[moreluck]

We may not imagine how our lives could be more frustrating and complex, but congress can.

"Before becoming a mother I had a hundred theories on how to bring up children. Now I have seven children and only one theory: Love them, especially when they least deserve to be loved." (Kate Samperi)

You cannot stop the ongoing love affair between pasta sauce and your clothing.

 

[moreluck]

Utility is when you have one telephone,
Luxury is when you have two,
And paradise is when you have none.

Give your troubles to God, he's up all night anyway.

If a man does something silly, people say, "Isn't he silly?" If a woman does something silly, people say, "Aren't women silly?"

Never get near a car that needs extensive body work.

Ladies, when no one understands you, chocolate is there.

 

[moreluck]

When a habit begins to cost money it is called a hobby.

For the man who has everything...a calendar to remind him when his payments are due.

When you don't know where you're going...Every road will take you there.

 

[moreluck]

In the spirit of downsizing, my husband and I gave up our $700k home for a 400k home and the 'good' news is, we didn't even have to move.

A confirmation student was asked to list the Ten Commandments in any order. He wrote, "3, 6, 1, 8, 4, 5, 9, 2, 10, 7."

I just hope God grades on a curve .

In any world menu, Canada must be considered the vichyssoise of nations - it's cold, half-French, and difficult to stir.

If you're looking for monogamy ladies, you'd better marry a swan.

 

[moreluck]

They're commandments, not suggestions!

Herbert Hoover started it. When he was President, he gave all his salary back to the government. Now they're making all of us do the same thing.

 

[moreluck]

I think everyone should go to college, get a degree, and then spend six months as a bartender and six months as a cabdriver. Then they would really be educated.

A golf commentator made a curious observation about Arnold Palmer during a tournament one day:
"Palmer, usually a great putter, seems to be having trouble with his long putt. However he has no trouble dropping his shorts..."

Dairy promotion: "You can't beat our milk, but you can sure whip our cream."

An average pencil is 7 inches long with a 1/2" erasure. Clearly, optimism is alive!

 

[moreluck]

"It would be nice if the Food and Drug Administration stopped issuing warnings about toxic substances and just gave me the names of one or two things still safe to eat." (Robert Fuoss)

Sign in a flower shop: "Bring flowers home to your wife. She must be mad at you for something."

"The dog was created especially for children. He is the god of frolic." (Henry Ward Beecher "Proverbs from Plymouth Pulpit")

There is a lot more juice in grapefruit than meets the eye.

 

[moreluck]

"There is one thing more exasperating than a wife who can cook and won't, and that's a wife who can't cook and will." (Robert Frost)

Golf is a game that was invented to punish those who retire early.

When your outgo exceeds your income, then your upkeep is your downfall.

I'm sorry for not communicating but sometimes it's hard to write on a moving planet!

 

[moreluck]

If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.

People populate the world. Teachers civilize it.

I don't suffer from stress. I'm a carrier.