Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
- Thread starter moreluck
- Start date
moreluck
golden ticket member
These are the Cowboy Rules in effect for: Arizona, Texas, Oklahoma, Colorado, New Mexico, Wyoming, Montana, Utah, Idaho and the rest of the Wild West.
1. Pull your pants up. You look like an idiot.
2. Turn your cap right, your head ain't crooked.
3. Let's get this straight: it's called a "gravel road." I drive a pickup truck because I want to. No matter how slow you drive, you're gonna get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.
4. They are cattle. That's why they smell like cattle. They smell like money to us. Get over it. Don't like it? I-10 & I-40 go east and west, I-17 & I-15 go north and south. Pick one and go.
5. So you have an $80,000 car. We're impressed. We have $350,000 Combines that are driven only 3 weeks a year.
6. Every person in the Wild West waves. It's called being friendly. Try to understand the concept.
7. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of geese/pheasants/ducks/doves are comin' in during a hunt, we WILL shoot it outta your hand. You better hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time.
8. Yeah. We eat trout, salmon, deer and elk. You really want sushi and caviar? It's available at the corner bait shop.
9. The 'Opener' refers to the first day of deer season. It's a religious holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November.
10. We open doors for women. That's applies to all women, regardless of age.
11. No, there's no '"vegetarian special" on the menu. Order steak, or you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham and turkey.
12. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes: meats, vegetables, and breads. We use three spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup! Oh, yeah ... We don't care what you folks in the North East call that stuff you eat ... IT AIN'T REAL CHILI!!
13. You bring "Coke" into my house, it better be brown, wet and served over ice. You bring "Mary Jane" into my house, she better be cute, know how to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.
14. College and High School Football is as important here as the Giants, the Yankees, the Mets, the Lakers and the Knicks, and a dang site more fun to watch.
15. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't hit the water hazards - it spooks the fish.
16. Turn down that blasted car stereo! That thumpity-thump ain't music, anyway. We don't want to hear it anymore than we want to see your boxers! Refer back to #1!
1. Pull your pants up. You look like an idiot.
2. Turn your cap right, your head ain't crooked.
3. Let's get this straight: it's called a "gravel road." I drive a pickup truck because I want to. No matter how slow you drive, you're gonna get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.
4. They are cattle. That's why they smell like cattle. They smell like money to us. Get over it. Don't like it? I-10 & I-40 go east and west, I-17 & I-15 go north and south. Pick one and go.
5. So you have an $80,000 car. We're impressed. We have $350,000 Combines that are driven only 3 weeks a year.
6. Every person in the Wild West waves. It's called being friendly. Try to understand the concept.
7. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of geese/pheasants/ducks/doves are comin' in during a hunt, we WILL shoot it outta your hand. You better hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time.
8. Yeah. We eat trout, salmon, deer and elk. You really want sushi and caviar? It's available at the corner bait shop.
9. The 'Opener' refers to the first day of deer season. It's a religious holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November.
10. We open doors for women. That's applies to all women, regardless of age.
11. No, there's no '"vegetarian special" on the menu. Order steak, or you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham and turkey.
12. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes: meats, vegetables, and breads. We use three spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup! Oh, yeah ... We don't care what you folks in the North East call that stuff you eat ... IT AIN'T REAL CHILI!!
13. You bring "Coke" into my house, it better be brown, wet and served over ice. You bring "Mary Jane" into my house, she better be cute, know how to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.
14. College and High School Football is as important here as the Giants, the Yankees, the Mets, the Lakers and the Knicks, and a dang site more fun to watch.
15. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't hit the water hazards - it spooks the fish.
16. Turn down that blasted car stereo! That thumpity-thump ain't music, anyway. We don't want to hear it anymore than we want to see your boxers! Refer back to #1!
moreluck
golden ticket member
New Years Eve One Liners A New Year’s resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.
My new year’s resolution is to be more optimistic by keeping my cup half-full with either rum, vodka, or whiskey.
New Years Eve is the only acceptable time to wear body glitter without being mistaken for a stripper.
I'm getting drunk just thinking about tomorrow night.
My New Year’s resolution is to stop hanging out with people who ask me about my New Year’s resolutions.
I have only one resolution. To rediscover the difference between wants and needs. May I have all I need and want all I have. Happy New Year!
If 2013 was a person, I’d sue him for pain and suffering and lost wages.
This New Year’s I resolve to be less awesome since that is really the only thing I do in excess.
People treat New Year’s like some sort of life-changing event. If your life sucked last year, it’s probably still going to suck Jan. 2nd..
I'll remember 2013 like it was yesterday.
May all your troubles last as long as your New Year resolutions.
I want to get so drunk that if vampires bit my neck they'd get a Bloody Mary.
Many things can be preserved in alcohol this New Years Eve. DIGNITY is not one of them.
I'm planning on finding new and interesting things to hate about my job in 2014.
Just heard that in 2014 there will be a new device that can turn thoughts into speech. I have had that for years, it’s called alcohol.
My New Years Resolution is to break my New Years Resolutions....That way I succeed at something!
Anyone who says that alcohol is a depressant isn’t drinking enough of it.
I'm actually feeling pretty okay about not accomplishing anything this year.
There have been many times in 2013, when I have annoyed you, distubed you, irritated you, and bugged the hell out of you....today I just wanna tell you I plan to continue in 2014!
My new year’s resolution is to be more optimistic by keeping my cup half-full with either rum, vodka, or whiskey.
New Years Eve is the only acceptable time to wear body glitter without being mistaken for a stripper.
I'm getting drunk just thinking about tomorrow night.
My New Year’s resolution is to stop hanging out with people who ask me about my New Year’s resolutions.
I have only one resolution. To rediscover the difference between wants and needs. May I have all I need and want all I have. Happy New Year!
If 2013 was a person, I’d sue him for pain and suffering and lost wages.
This New Year’s I resolve to be less awesome since that is really the only thing I do in excess.
People treat New Year’s like some sort of life-changing event. If your life sucked last year, it’s probably still going to suck Jan. 2nd..
I'll remember 2013 like it was yesterday.
May all your troubles last as long as your New Year resolutions.
I want to get so drunk that if vampires bit my neck they'd get a Bloody Mary.
Many things can be preserved in alcohol this New Years Eve. DIGNITY is not one of them.
I'm planning on finding new and interesting things to hate about my job in 2014.
Just heard that in 2014 there will be a new device that can turn thoughts into speech. I have had that for years, it’s called alcohol.
My New Years Resolution is to break my New Years Resolutions....That way I succeed at something!
Anyone who says that alcohol is a depressant isn’t drinking enough of it.
I'm actually feeling pretty okay about not accomplishing anything this year.
There have been many times in 2013, when I have annoyed you, distubed you, irritated you, and bugged the hell out of you....today I just wanna tell you I plan to continue in 2014!
moreluck
golden ticket member
New Year Resolutions for Pets......
15. I will not eat other animals' poop.
14. I will not lick my human's face after eating animal poop.
13. I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the coffee table.
12. My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
11. I will no longer be beholden to the sound of the can opener.
10. Cats: Circulate a petition that sleeping become a juried competition in major animal shows.
9. Come to understand that cats are from Venus; dogs are from Mars.
8. Take time from busy schedule to stop and smell the behinds.
7. Hamster: Don't let them figure out I'm just a rat on steroids, or they'll flush me!
6. Get a bite in on that freak who gives me that shot every year.
5. Grow opposable thumb; break into pantry; decide for MYSELF how much food is *too* much.
4. Cats: Use new living room sofa as scratching post.
3. January 1st: Kill the sock! Must kill the sock! January 2nd - December 31: Re-live victory over the sock.
2. The garbage collector is NOT stealing our stuff.
AND the Number 1 New Year's Resolutions Made by Pets...
1. I will NOT chase the stick until I see it LEAVE THE IDIOT'S HAND
15. I will not eat other animals' poop.
14. I will not lick my human's face after eating animal poop.
13. I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the coffee table.
12. My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
11. I will no longer be beholden to the sound of the can opener.
10. Cats: Circulate a petition that sleeping become a juried competition in major animal shows.
9. Come to understand that cats are from Venus; dogs are from Mars.
8. Take time from busy schedule to stop and smell the behinds.
7. Hamster: Don't let them figure out I'm just a rat on steroids, or they'll flush me!
6. Get a bite in on that freak who gives me that shot every year.
5. Grow opposable thumb; break into pantry; decide for MYSELF how much food is *too* much.
4. Cats: Use new living room sofa as scratching post.
3. January 1st: Kill the sock! Must kill the sock! January 2nd - December 31: Re-live victory over the sock.
2. The garbage collector is NOT stealing our stuff.
AND the Number 1 New Year's Resolutions Made by Pets...
1. I will NOT chase the stick until I see it LEAVE THE IDIOT'S HAND
moreluck
golden ticket member
I love the self-checkout aisle at my super market. The only problem comes when I leave an item on the scanner too long and the robo-voice scolds, "Please move your whole milk (or whatever) to the bagging area." Ordinarily, I just ignore it. But on my last shopping trip, I moved fast when the voice began shouting, "Please move your pork butt."
moreluck
golden ticket member
New Years EveOn New Year's Eve, Marilyn stood up in the local pub and said that it was time to get ready.
At the stroke of midnight, she wanted every husband to be standing next to the one person who made his life worth living.
Well, it was kind of embarrassing. As the clock struck, the bartender was almost crushed to death.
At the stroke of midnight, she wanted every husband to be standing next to the one person who made his life worth living.
Well, it was kind of embarrassing. As the clock struck, the bartender was almost crushed to death.
moreluck
golden ticket member
The Sciences (according to little kids)
- "Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water."
- When you breathe, you inspire. When you do not breathe, you expire."
- "H20 is hot water, and CO2 is cold water."
- "The body consists of three parts—the brainium, the borax and the abominable cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abominable cavity contains the bowels, of which there are five: a, e, i, o and u."
- "The pistol of a flower is its only protection against insects."
- "The alimentary canal is located in the northern part of Indiana."
- "Equator: A menagerie lion running around the Earth through Africa."
- "Germinate: To become a naturalized German."
- A myth is a female moth.
moreluck
golden ticket member
CONSIDER THIS:
~Your kids are becoming you......but your grandchildren are perfect! ~Going out is good.. Coming home is better! ~You forget names.... But it's OK because other people forgot they even knew you!!! ~You realize you're never going to be really good at anything.... especially golf.
~The things you used to care to do, you no longer care to do, but you really do care that you don't care to do them anymore. ~You sleep better on a lounge chair with the TV blaring than in bed. It's called "pre-sleep". ~You miss the days when everything worked with just an "ON" and "OFF" switch.. ~You tend to use more 4 letter words ... "what?"..."when?"... ???
~Now that you can afford expensive jewelry, it's not safe to wear it anywhere. ~You notice everything they sell in stores is "sleeveless"?!!! ~What used to be freckles are now liver spots. ~Everybody whispers. ~You have 3 sizes of clothes in your closet.... 2 of which you will never wear. ~
~~But Old is good in some things: Old Songs, Old movies, and best of all, OLD FRIENDS!!Stay well, "OLD FRIEND!" Send this on to other "Old Friends!" and let them laugh in AGREEMENT!!! It's Not What You Gather, But What You Scatter That Tells What Kind Of Life You Have Lived.TODAY IS THE OLDEST YOU'VE EVER BEEN, YET THE YOUNGEST YOU'LL EVER BE, SO ENJOY THIS DAY WHILE IT LASTS.
~Your kids are becoming you......but your grandchildren are perfect! ~Going out is good.. Coming home is better! ~You forget names.... But it's OK because other people forgot they even knew you!!! ~You realize you're never going to be really good at anything.... especially golf.
~The things you used to care to do, you no longer care to do, but you really do care that you don't care to do them anymore. ~You sleep better on a lounge chair with the TV blaring than in bed. It's called "pre-sleep". ~You miss the days when everything worked with just an "ON" and "OFF" switch.. ~You tend to use more 4 letter words ... "what?"..."when?"... ???
~Now that you can afford expensive jewelry, it's not safe to wear it anywhere. ~You notice everything they sell in stores is "sleeveless"?!!! ~What used to be freckles are now liver spots. ~Everybody whispers. ~You have 3 sizes of clothes in your closet.... 2 of which you will never wear. ~
~~But Old is good in some things: Old Songs, Old movies, and best of all, OLD FRIENDS!!Stay well, "OLD FRIEND!" Send this on to other "Old Friends!" and let them laugh in AGREEMENT!!! It's Not What You Gather, But What You Scatter That Tells What Kind Of Life You Have Lived.TODAY IS THE OLDEST YOU'VE EVER BEEN, YET THE YOUNGEST YOU'LL EVER BE, SO ENJOY THIS DAY WHILE IT LASTS.
moreluck
golden ticket member
TOP TEN THINGS YOU NEVER HEAR IN CHURCH...
10. Hey! It's my turn to sit in the front pew.
9. I was so enthralled, I never noticed your sermon went 25 minutes over time.
8. Personally I find witnessing much more enjoyable than golf.
7. I've decided to give our church the $500 a month I used to send to TV evangelists.
6. I volunteer to be the permanent teacher for the Junior High Sunday School class.
5. Forget the denominational minimum salary, let's pay our pastor so he can live like we do.
4. I love it when we sing hymns I've never heard before!
3. Since we're all here, let's start the service early.
2. Pastor, we'd like to send you to this Bible seminar in the Bahamas.
1. Nothing inspires me and strengthens my commitment like our annual stewardship campaign!
10. Hey! It's my turn to sit in the front pew.
9. I was so enthralled, I never noticed your sermon went 25 minutes over time.
8. Personally I find witnessing much more enjoyable than golf.
7. I've decided to give our church the $500 a month I used to send to TV evangelists.
6. I volunteer to be the permanent teacher for the Junior High Sunday School class.
5. Forget the denominational minimum salary, let's pay our pastor so he can live like we do.
4. I love it when we sing hymns I've never heard before!
3. Since we're all here, let's start the service early.
2. Pastor, we'd like to send you to this Bible seminar in the Bahamas.
1. Nothing inspires me and strengthens my commitment like our annual stewardship campaign!
moreluck
golden ticket member
The morning after a terrible snowstorm, I spotted my neighbor Janet shovelling her driveway. I waved hello and asked why her husband wasn't out helping her. She explained that one of them had to stay inside and look after their two small children. They had flipped a coin to determine who would be the one to go out and shovel.
"Sorry to hear of your bad luck," I said.
"Don't be," she replied quickly. "I won!"
"Sorry to hear of your bad luck," I said.
"Don't be," she replied quickly. "I won!"
moreluck
golden ticket member
Is it OK to use the AM radio after noon?
What do chickens think we taste like?
What do people in China call their good plates?
What do you call a male ladybug?
What hair color do they put on the driver's license of a bald
man?
When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?
When they first invented the clock, how did they know what time
it was to set it to?
Which is the other side of the street?
Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes? Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
What do chickens think we taste like?
What do people in China call their good plates?
What do you call a male ladybug?
What hair color do they put on the driver's license of a bald
man?
When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?
When they first invented the clock, how did they know what time
it was to set it to?
Which is the other side of the street?
Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes? Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
moreluck
golden ticket member
Found in the women's dictionary.........
Blonde jokes (blahnd joks) n. Jokes short enough for men to understand.
Cantaloupe
(kant•e•lope) n. Gotta get married in a church.
Clothes dryer
(kloze drI•yer) n. An appliance designed to eat socks.
Diet soda
(dI•it so•duh) n. A drink you buy at a convenience store to go with a half pound bag of peanut M&Ms.
Diamond
(dI-mun) n. Something you think should be on your finger but he can only see in a baseball park.
Eternity
(e•ter•ni•tee) n. The last two minutes of a football game.
Exercise
(ex•er•siz) v. Walking up and down a mall, occasionally resting to make a purchase.
Grocery list
(grow•sree list) n What you spend half an hour writing, then forget to take with you to the store.
Blonde jokes (blahnd joks) n. Jokes short enough for men to understand.
Cantaloupe
(kant•e•lope) n. Gotta get married in a church.
Clothes dryer
(kloze drI•yer) n. An appliance designed to eat socks.
Diet soda
(dI•it so•duh) n. A drink you buy at a convenience store to go with a half pound bag of peanut M&Ms.
Diamond
(dI-mun) n. Something you think should be on your finger but he can only see in a baseball park.
Eternity
(e•ter•ni•tee) n. The last two minutes of a football game.
Exercise
(ex•er•siz) v. Walking up and down a mall, occasionally resting to make a purchase.
Grocery list
(grow•sree list) n What you spend half an hour writing, then forget to take with you to the store.
moreluck
golden ticket member
People might think you are a Redneck if...
Your momma calls you over to help, cause she has a flat tire...on her house.
The ASPCA raids your kitchen.
You have to check in the bottom of your shoe for change so you can get Grandma a new plug of tobacco.
You can't get married to your sweetheart because there is a law against it.
You celebrate Groundhog Day because you believe in it.
Your kid takes a siphon hose to show-and-tell.
You've been on TV more than 5 times describing the sound of a tornado.
You fish in your above-ground pool. . . and catch something.
Your beer can collection is considered a tourist attraction in your home town.
Getting a package from your post office requires a full tank of gas in the truck.
Your handkerchief doubles as your shirt sleeve.
Your baby's favorite teething ring is the garden hose in the front yard.
Your sophisticated show-biz cousin is a rodeo clown.
You think people that send out graduation announcements are show-offs.
Your best ashtray is a turtle shell. 252.Your pocketknife has ever been referred to as Exhibit A.
You think cur is a breed of dog.
People hear your car long before they see it.
Your four-year-old is a member of the NRA.
Your satellite dish payment delays buying school clothes for the kids.
You think the last words to the Star Spangled Banner are "Play Ball..."
You have a color coordinating rope that ties down your car hood.
You bring your dog to work with you
.
Your grandmother can correctly execute the sleeper hold.
You've ever held somebody up with a caulk gun.
You have every episode of "Hee Haw" on tape.
Your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather.
Your masseuse uses lard.
Your wife's best shoes have steel toes.
You use your fishing license as a form of I.D.
Your momma calls you over to help, cause she has a flat tire...on her house.
The ASPCA raids your kitchen.
You have to check in the bottom of your shoe for change so you can get Grandma a new plug of tobacco.
You can't get married to your sweetheart because there is a law against it.
You celebrate Groundhog Day because you believe in it.
Your kid takes a siphon hose to show-and-tell.
You've been on TV more than 5 times describing the sound of a tornado.
You fish in your above-ground pool. . . and catch something.
Your beer can collection is considered a tourist attraction in your home town.
Getting a package from your post office requires a full tank of gas in the truck.
Your handkerchief doubles as your shirt sleeve.
Your baby's favorite teething ring is the garden hose in the front yard.
Your sophisticated show-biz cousin is a rodeo clown.
You think people that send out graduation announcements are show-offs.
Your best ashtray is a turtle shell. 252.Your pocketknife has ever been referred to as Exhibit A.
You think cur is a breed of dog.
People hear your car long before they see it.
Your four-year-old is a member of the NRA.
Your satellite dish payment delays buying school clothes for the kids.
You think the last words to the Star Spangled Banner are "Play Ball..."
You have a color coordinating rope that ties down your car hood.
You bring your dog to work with you
.
Your grandmother can correctly execute the sleeper hold.
You've ever held somebody up with a caulk gun.
You have every episode of "Hee Haw" on tape.
Your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather.
Your masseuse uses lard.
Your wife's best shoes have steel toes.
You use your fishing license as a form of I.D.
moreluck
golden ticket member
An Englishman, a Canadian and an American were captured by terrorists.
The terrorist leader said, "Before we shoot you, you will be allowed last words. Please let me know what you wish to talk about."
The Englishman replied, "I wish to speak of loyalty and service to the crown."
The Canadian replied, "Since you are involved in a question of national purpose, national identity, and secession, I wish to talk about the history of constitutional process in Canada, special status, distinct society and uniqueness within diversity."
The American replied, "Just shoot me before the Canadian starts talking."
The terrorist leader said, "Before we shoot you, you will be allowed last words. Please let me know what you wish to talk about."
The Englishman replied, "I wish to speak of loyalty and service to the crown."
The Canadian replied, "Since you are involved in a question of national purpose, national identity, and secession, I wish to talk about the history of constitutional process in Canada, special status, distinct society and uniqueness within diversity."
The American replied, "Just shoot me before the Canadian starts talking."
moreluck
golden ticket member
Things Not To Say During Childbirth....
-- Gosh, you're lucky. I sure wish men could experience the miracle of childbirth.
-- Do you think the baby will come before Monday Night Football starts?
-- I hope your ready. The Glamour Shot photographer will be here in fifteen minutes.
-- If you think this hurts, I should tell you about the time I twisted my ankle playing basketball.
-- That was the kids on the phone. Did you have anything planned for dinner?
-- When you lay on your back, you look like a python that swallowed a wild boar.
-- You don't need an epidural. Just relax and enjoy the moment.
-- This whole experience kind of reminds me of an episode from I Love Lucy.
-- Oops! Which cord was I supposed to cut?
-- Stop your swearing and just breathe.
-- Remember what we learned in Lamaze class! HEE HEE HOO HOO. You're not using the right words.
-- Your stomach still looks like there's another one in there.
-- Gosh, you're lucky. I sure wish men could experience the miracle of childbirth.
-- Do you think the baby will come before Monday Night Football starts?
-- I hope your ready. The Glamour Shot photographer will be here in fifteen minutes.
-- If you think this hurts, I should tell you about the time I twisted my ankle playing basketball.
-- That was the kids on the phone. Did you have anything planned for dinner?
-- When you lay on your back, you look like a python that swallowed a wild boar.
-- You don't need an epidural. Just relax and enjoy the moment.
-- This whole experience kind of reminds me of an episode from I Love Lucy.
-- Oops! Which cord was I supposed to cut?
-- Stop your swearing and just breathe.
-- Remember what we learned in Lamaze class! HEE HEE HOO HOO. You're not using the right words.
-- Your stomach still looks like there's another one in there.
moreluck
golden ticket member
At the busy dental office where I work, one patient was always late. Once when I called to confirm an appointment, he said, "I'll be about 15 minutes late. That won't be a problem, will it?"
"No," I told him. "We just won't have time to give you an anesthetic."
He arrived early.
"No," I told him. "We just won't have time to give you an anesthetic."
He arrived early.
moreluck
golden ticket member
New York (CNN). At John friend. Kennedy International Airport today, a Caucasian male (later discovered to be a high school mathematics teacher) was arrested trying to board a
flight while in possession of a compass, a protractor and a graphical calculator. According to law enforcement officials, he is believed to have ties to the Al-Gebra network. He will
be charged with carrying weapons of math instruction.
flight while in possession of a compass, a protractor and a graphical calculator. According to law enforcement officials, he is believed to have ties to the Al-Gebra network. He will
be charged with carrying weapons of math instruction.
moreluck
golden ticket member
Bubba and Junior were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking up.
A woman walked by and asked what they were doing. "We're supposed to find the height of the flagpole," said Bubba, "but we don't have a ladder." The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a few bolts, and laid the pole down. Then she took a tape measure from her pocket, took a measurement and announced, "Eighteen feet, six inches," and walked away.
Junior shook his head and laughed. "Ain't that just like a dumb blonde! We ask for the height, and she gives us the length!"
A woman walked by and asked what they were doing. "We're supposed to find the height of the flagpole," said Bubba, "but we don't have a ladder." The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a few bolts, and laid the pole down. Then she took a tape measure from her pocket, took a measurement and announced, "Eighteen feet, six inches," and walked away.
Junior shook his head and laughed. "Ain't that just like a dumb blonde! We ask for the height, and she gives us the length!"
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