President Trump
- Thread starter wkmac
- Start date
Indecisi0n
Well-Known Member
Was this taken at the White House?
Indecisi0n
Well-Known Member
He has the greatest science that anyone has ever seen.
Trump Practicing Distancing from All His Prior Statements About the Corona Virus
April 1, 2020
Photograph by Mandel Ngan / Getty
The Borowitz Report)—Issuing a new distancing guideline on Wednesday, Donald Trump said that he was now practicing distancing from all of his previous statements about the coronavirus.
“As of today, I will be keeping a great distance between myself and anything I said about COVID-19 in the months of January, February, and March,” he said. “I will be staying at least six feet away from those statements, and probably more like ten thousand feet.”
Trump said that he could not predict how long his new practice of distancing would continue, but indicated, “Next week, I will probably be distancing myself from things I said this week. This could go on for a long time.”
He urged all Americans to distance themselves from his previous statements, as well. “If you’re watching CNN or MSNBC and they start showing things I said in February, leave the room immediately,” he advised.
Dr. Anthony Fauci, the esteemed virologist, expressed approval of Trump’s new policy. “Personally, I have been distancing myself from his statements for months,” he said.
April 1, 2020
Photograph by Mandel Ngan / Getty
The Borowitz Report)—Issuing a new distancing guideline on Wednesday, Donald Trump said that he was now practicing distancing from all of his previous statements about the coronavirus.
“As of today, I will be keeping a great distance between myself and anything I said about COVID-19 in the months of January, February, and March,” he said. “I will be staying at least six feet away from those statements, and probably more like ten thousand feet.”
Trump said that he could not predict how long his new practice of distancing would continue, but indicated, “Next week, I will probably be distancing myself from things I said this week. This could go on for a long time.”
He urged all Americans to distance themselves from his previous statements, as well. “If you’re watching CNN or MSNBC and they start showing things I said in February, leave the room immediately,” he advised.
Dr. Anthony Fauci, the esteemed virologist, expressed approval of Trump’s new policy. “Personally, I have been distancing myself from his statements for months,” he said.
MrFedEx
Engorged Member
Trump Practicing Distancing from All His Prior Statements About the Corona Virus
April 1, 2020
Photograph by Mandel Ngan / Getty
The Borowitz Report)—Issuing a new distancing guideline on Wednesday, Donald Trump said that he was now practicing distancing from all of his previous statements about the coronavirus.
“As of today, I will be keeping a great distance between myself and anything I said about COVID-19 in the months of January, February, and March,” he said. “I will be staying at least six feet away from those statements, and probably more like ten thousand feet.”
Trump said that he could not predict how long his new practice of distancing would continue, but indicated, “Next week, I will probably be distancing myself from things I said this week. This could go on for a long time.”
He urged all Americans to distance themselves from his previous statements, as well. “If you’re watching CNN or MSNBC and they start showing things I said in February, leave the room immediately,” he advised.
Dr. Anthony Fauci, the esteemed virologist, expressed approval of Trump’s new policy. “Personally, I have been distancing myself from his statements for months,” he said.
I love Andy Borowitz. Let's see how many of them bite.
Old Man Jingles
Rat out of a cage
Satire from the Borowitz ReportTrump Practicing Distancing from All His Prior Statements About the Corona Virus
April 1, 2020
Photograph by Mandel Ngan / Getty
The Borowitz Report)—Issuing a new distancing guideline on Wednesday, Donald Trump said that he was now practicing distancing from all of his previous statements about the coronavirus.
“As of today, I will be keeping a great distance between myself and anything I said about COVID-19 in the months of January, February, and March,” he said. “I will be staying at least six feet away from those statements, and probably more like ten thousand feet.”
Trump said that he could not predict how long his new practice of distancing would continue, but indicated, “Next week, I will probably be distancing myself from things I said this week. This could go on for a long time.”
He urged all Americans to distance themselves from his previous statements, as well. “If you’re watching CNN or MSNBC and they start showing things I said in February, leave the room immediately,” he advised.
Dr. Anthony Fauci, the esteemed virologist, expressed approval of Trump’s new policy. “Personally, I have been distancing myself from his statements for months,” he said.
Not the news.
Real nice how you cut that off from "The Borowitz Report)" ... still obviously satire and quite funny.
This one is even funnier.
Fauci Tricks Trump Into Believing There Is No Easter This Year
By Andy Borowitz
(Satire from The Borowitz Report)—Taking bold action to safeguard the health of millions of Americans, Dr. Anthony Fauci has tricked Donald J. Trump into believing that there is no Easter this year, Fauci has confirmed.
After hearing Trump declare on Tuesday that he hoped to reopen the country on Easter Sunday, an alarmed Fauci decided to spring into action.
“I ran down to my computer and mocked up a phony 2020 calendar with no Easter on it,” Fauci said. “Then I showed it to Trump and said, ‘There’s a problem with your plan, Mr. President. There’s no Easter this year.’”
According to Fauci, Trump was initially baffled by the news. “How could that be?” Trump asked. “There’s Easter every year.”
“This is a leap year,” the quick-thinking virologist replied.
“I guess I didn’t know it worked that way,” Trump said. “I never go to church.”
Last edited:
MrFedEx
Engorged Member
Satire from the Borowitz Report
Not the news.
Real nice how you cut that off from "The Borowitz Report)" ... still obviously satire and quite funny.
Satire from The Borowitz Report
Fauci Tricks Trump Into Believing There Is No Easter This Year
By Andy Borowitz
March 25, 2020
This one is even funnier.
Problem is, with Trump, it's all too believable. He screws up the response to Covid-19 by minimizing it, then tries to say he didn't minimize it and actually predicted the pandemic. Now, after way too long, he's apparently listening to the scientists.
What you get when you elect a con man to be president.
Eat Sleep Fish
Jig Master
No. Pelosi's lawn.
Eat Sleep Fish
Jig Master
The greatest scientist of all time is God.
Indecisi0n
Well-Known Member
Does God have to social distance?
newfie
Well-Known Member
he cants he's everywhere
Old Man Jingles
Rat out of a cage
MrFedEx
Engorged Member
He created Covid-19. Why would He distance?
MrFedEx
Engorged Member
Yep, he's the greatest...ever. Just ask him. I hope Joe Biden's first task as President is to reinstate the command of Captain Crozier.
Melania hasn't let him touch her since he banged Stormy Daniels when she was pregnant with Barron.
BrownFlush
Woke Racist Reigning Ban King
Joe Biden's first task if elected President will be to remember his name when he swears in.
Your insider info is unbelievable. It's amazing. Beautiful .
newfie
Well-Known Member
i'm shocked to hear you say that you'e usually such a strong trump supporter
newfie
Well-Known Member
at least he hit that , what kind of skank are you waking up to?
MAKAVELI
Well-Known Member
You proud of Drumpf friend* a pornstar who probably
ed 1000+ dudes? LMAO!BrownFlush
Woke Racist Reigning Ban King
BrownFlush
Woke Racist Reigning Ban King
Soooo did he create polio? Cancer? Malaria? Heart disease?
What else do you give him credit for?
