Random Christmas things

oldngray

nowhere special
holiday53.gif
 

moreluck

golden ticket member
Q: What kind of bird can write ?
A: A PENguin !

Q. How many presents can Santa fit into an empty sack ?
A. Only one - after then it is not empty anymore !
 

moreluck

golden ticket member
The gift list is done, and there's a nip in the air - time to get your gaudy on !!

My daughter and I took the long route through the neighborhood to admire the Christmas decorations.

One yard contained a trove of lights, ornaments, elves, carolers, trimmings.....in short, it was a mess.

My daughter summed it up perfectly when she announced, "It looks like Christmas threw up."

Cecille Hansen - Seattle
 

moreluck

golden ticket member
What do you call that period 5 minutes after the gifts are opened ? Christmess.

I am sick and tired of people wishing me a Happy Hondadays ! It's like they totally forget that some people celebrate Toyotathon !

How much did Santa pay for his sleigh ? Nothing. It was on the house.

Did you hear about the bald man who got a comb for Christmas ? He'll never part with it.
 

moreluck

golden ticket member
Securing Christmas lights to the tree can be a production.
One year, when we finally stood back and flicked on the light switch, I noticed that a branch obscured our prized angel ornament.
I grabbed the pruning shears, mounted a stool and snipped once, and the lights went out.
My husband quietly said, "You don't have your glasses on, do you ?"
 

moreluck

golden ticket member
The Cat's First Toy

My first toy
Has wood for me to claw
My first toy
Has string for me to bite
My first toy
Has a hole for me to hide in
My first toy
Is called, "Oh dear God, no!
My guitar!"
My first toy
Is the best toy
Of them all.

~Francesco Marciulano~
 

moreluck

golden ticket member
Nothing's as mean as giving a child something useful for Christmas. ~Kin Hubbard~

What did Adam say on the day before Christmas ? "It's Christmas, Eve !" ~Bridger Winegar~

Keep your friends close, your enemies closer, and receipts for all major purchases.
 

BSWALKS

Fugitive From Reality
Heard this the other day. Local radio station already playing Christmas carols. A bit too early but still a great song.
 

moreluck

golden ticket member
Seasonal Maladies....

(SAD) Seasonal Affection Disorder: An exaggerated emotional response (typically shrieking and air-kissing) triggered by seeing insignificant acquiantances at annual parties.

Gift-aphasia - Loss of memory that causes the accidental recycling of gifts back to the same people who gave them to you last year.
 

moreluck

golden ticket member
Half of the Christmas lights are up....the ones involving the ladder. The weather was 74 degrees and just slightly breezy, so ideal for installation.

Today all the other lights will be placed. We can't turn them on 'til Thanksgiving night, but we'll be ready.

Next is the inside tree and mantle decorations. :likeit:
 
Z

ZQXC

Guest
Half of the Christmas lights are up....the ones involving the ladder. The weather was 74 degrees and just slightly breezy, so ideal for installation.

Today all the other lights will be placed. We can't turn them on 'til Thanksgiving night, but we'll be ready.

Next is the inside tree and mantle decorations. :likeit:

If you did turn them on early, would you be banned from the community center?
 
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