I am sorry for you.
I never limited God. It's very clear God set the boundaries of how salvation would be brought to the world and how one would obtain salvation. It is the same for every one.
You have decided to make up and believe your own.
Human experience , what a person feels and thinks, is very important.
But, it is not the defining standard of one's salvation.
Human reason, conscience, and emotion as has been pointed out in scripture , can be wrong.
According to Gal. 3: 26 -27 , is one "in Christ" before baptism?
Saul of Tarsus was told to "arise, and baptized, and wash away thy sins, calling on the name of the Lord" (Acts 22:16).
Did Saul have sins that need washed away before he was baptized?