One liners, short jokes, funny sayings, puns, etal
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moreluck
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Two In The Same Grave....
A little boy was in a cemetery with his mother,
“Mommy” the boy asked , “do they ever bury two people in the same grave?”
“Of course not, dear.” replied the mother, “Why would you think that?”
“The tombstone back there said, Here lies a lawyer and an honest man.”
A little boy was in a cemetery with his mother,
“Mommy” the boy asked , “do they ever bury two people in the same grave?”
“Of course not, dear.” replied the mother, “Why would you think that?”
“The tombstone back there said, Here lies a lawyer and an honest man.”
moreluck
golden ticket member
Two cannibals meet one day. The first cannibal says, "You know, I just can't seem to get a tender missionary. I've baked 'em, I've roasted 'em, I've stewed 'em, I've barbecued 'em, I've even tried every sort of marinade. I just cannot seem to get them tender."
The second cannibal asks, "What kind of missionary do you use?"
The other replied, "You know, the ones that hang out at that place at the bend of the river. They have those brown cloaks with a rope around the waist and their sort of bald on top with a funny ring of hair on their heads."
"Ah ha!" he replies. "No wonder.. those are friars!"
The second cannibal asks, "What kind of missionary do you use?"
The other replied, "You know, the ones that hang out at that place at the bend of the river. They have those brown cloaks with a rope around the waist and their sort of bald on top with a funny ring of hair on their heads."
"Ah ha!" he replies. "No wonder.. those are friars!"
moreluck
golden ticket member
On an icy, bitter-cold day, Hank visited Lulu. "I had a rough time getting here," said Hank. "For every step forward, I slipped back two."
"If you slid back two steps for every one you took forward, how'd you get here?" asked Lulu.
"I almost didn't. But then I said to myself, Forget it. So I turned around and started home."
"If you slid back two steps for every one you took forward, how'd you get here?" asked Lulu.
"I almost didn't. But then I said to myself, Forget it. So I turned around and started home."
moreluck
golden ticket member
LITTLE RALPHY ON GETTING OLDER.....
Little RALPHY was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar after another.
After the 6th one, a man on the bench across from him said, “Son, you know eating all that candy isn’t good for you. It will give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat.”
Little RALPHY replied, “My grandfather lived to be 107 years old.”
The man asked, “Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?”
Little RALPHY answered, “No, he just minded his own friend------ business”.
Little RALPHY was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar after another.
After the 6th one, a man on the bench across from him said, “Son, you know eating all that candy isn’t good for you. It will give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat.”
Little RALPHY replied, “My grandfather lived to be 107 years old.”
The man asked, “Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?”
Little RALPHY answered, “No, he just minded his own friend------ business”.
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