One liners, short jokes, funny sayings, puns, etal
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moreluck
golden ticket member
While on maneuvers in the Mojave Desert, our convoy got lost, forcing our lieutenant to radio for help.
"Are you near any landmarks that might help us locate you?" the base operator asked him.
"Yes," said the lieutenant. "We are directly under the moon."
~Jesse Joe Wingo~
"Are you near any landmarks that might help us locate you?" the base operator asked him.
"Yes," said the lieutenant. "We are directly under the moon."
~Jesse Joe Wingo~
moreluck
golden ticket member
The Unknown Package
I was scheduled to fly from New Jersey to Ireland. As I checked in at the airport, the ticket agent asked me some standard security questions.
"Has anyone given you any packages you didn't pack yourself?" he asked.
I told him that my mother-in-law had given me a parcel to take to her sister.
He looked at me very carefully and asked, "Does she like you?"
I was scheduled to fly from New Jersey to Ireland. As I checked in at the airport, the ticket agent asked me some standard security questions.
"Has anyone given you any packages you didn't pack yourself?" he asked.
I told him that my mother-in-law had given me a parcel to take to her sister.
He looked at me very carefully and asked, "Does she like you?"
moreluck
golden ticket member
Wedding Question
A little five year old was at her first wedding and gaped at the entire ceremony.
When it was over, she asked her mom, "Why did the lady change her mind?"
Mom replied, "What do you mean?"
"Well, she went down the aisle with one man, and came back with another one."
A little five year old was at her first wedding and gaped at the entire ceremony.
When it was over, she asked her mom, "Why did the lady change her mind?"
Mom replied, "What do you mean?"
"Well, she went down the aisle with one man, and came back with another one."
moreluck
golden ticket member
Kurt was going out with a nice girl and finally popped the question.
"Will you marry me, darling?" he asked.
Lisa smiled coyly and said, "Yes, if you'll buy me a mink."
Kurt thought for a moment and then replied, "Okay, it's a deal, but on one condition."
"What's that?" Lisa asked.
"You'll have to clean the cage," Kurt replied
"Will you marry me, darling?" he asked.
Lisa smiled coyly and said, "Yes, if you'll buy me a mink."
Kurt thought for a moment and then replied, "Okay, it's a deal, but on one condition."
"What's that?" Lisa asked.
"You'll have to clean the cage," Kurt replied
moreluck
golden ticket member
Army Days.......
Two men were boasting to each other about their old army days.
"Why, my outfit was so well drilled," declared one, "that when they presented arms, all you could hear was slap, slap, click."
"Very good," conceded the other, "but when my company presented arms you'd just hear slap, slap, jingle."
"What was the jingle?" asked the first.
"Oh," replied the other offhand, "just our medals."
Two men were boasting to each other about their old army days.
"Why, my outfit was so well drilled," declared one, "that when they presented arms, all you could hear was slap, slap, click."
"Very good," conceded the other, "but when my company presented arms you'd just hear slap, slap, jingle."
"What was the jingle?" asked the first.
"Oh," replied the other offhand, "just our medals."
moreluck
golden ticket member
Wrong Answer.....
Eric is sitting at the bar staring morosely into his beer. Tom walks in, sits down and asks him what the problem is.
"Well," said Eric, "I ran afoul on one of those awkward questions women ask. Now, I'm in deep trouble at home."
"What kind of question?" asked Tom.
"My wife asked me if I would still love her when she gets old, fat and wrinkly."
"That's easy," said Tom. "You just say 'Of course I will.'"
"Yeah," said Eric. "That's what I did, except I said 'Of course I do.'"
Eric is sitting at the bar staring morosely into his beer. Tom walks in, sits down and asks him what the problem is.
"Well," said Eric, "I ran afoul on one of those awkward questions women ask. Now, I'm in deep trouble at home."
"What kind of question?" asked Tom.
"My wife asked me if I would still love her when she gets old, fat and wrinkly."
"That's easy," said Tom. "You just say 'Of course I will.'"
"Yeah," said Eric. "That's what I did, except I said 'Of course I do.'"
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