One liners, short jokes, funny sayings, puns, etal

[moreluck]

 

[moreluck]

 

[moreluck]

 

[moreluck]

 

[moreluck]

 

[moreluck]

 

[oldngray]

 

[moreluck]

Home Games

A generally good-humored boss was finally compelled to call an employee into his office about the sick leave policy.

"It has not escaped my attention," he pointed out, "that every time there's a home game at the stadium, you have to take your aunt to the doctor."

"You know you're right, sir," exclaimed the bashfully grinning employee. "I didn't realize it. You don't suppose she's faking it, do you?"

 

[oldngray]

 

[moreluck]

 

[moreluck]

 

[moreluck]

 

[moreluck]

What is a pirate's worst nightmare?

A sunken chest and no booty.

 

[moreluck]

 

[moreluck]

 

[moreluck]

If you were an auto insurer, would you have paid these actual claims?

* In an attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.
*I didn't think the speed limit applied after midnight.
*The car in front hit the pedestrian, but he got up so I hit him again.
Source: businessball.com

 

[moreluck]

 

[moreluck]

Sometimes I think war is God's way of teaching us geography.
~Paul Rodriguez~

 

[moreluck]

A bank robber pulls out gun points it at the teller, and says, "Give me all the money or you're geography!" The puzzled teller replies, "Did you mean to say 'or you're history?'" The robber says, "Don't change the subject!"

 

[moreluck]

A duck walks into a bar and says, "I'll have a beer".

The bartender says "Hey! where did you come from?"

The duck says "I'm working the construction site across the street".

And the bartender says, "Well why are you working construction when you could be making millions in the circus?"

And the duck said "What would the circus want with a brick laying duck?"