One liners, short jokes, funny sayings, puns, etal
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moreluck
golden ticket member
Two drunks were in a bar party
Two drunks were in a bar partying like fools. They were drinking boiler makers, buying rounds like there was no tomorrow. They were dancing, calling each other "professor," and generally causing quite a stir. When asked why such a celebration, they boasted that they just finished a jigsaw puzzle & it only took them 2 months! "TWO MONTHS?!" cried the bartender. "That's ridiculous. It shouldn't take that long!!"
"Oh yeah?" says one drunk. "The box said 2-4 YEARS!"
Two drunks were in a bar partying like fools. They were drinking boiler makers, buying rounds like there was no tomorrow. They were dancing, calling each other "professor," and generally causing quite a stir. When asked why such a celebration, they boasted that they just finished a jigsaw puzzle & it only took them 2 months! "TWO MONTHS?!" cried the bartender. "That's ridiculous. It shouldn't take that long!!"
"Oh yeah?" says one drunk. "The box said 2-4 YEARS!"
moreluck
golden ticket member
Jim had an awful day fishing on the lake, sitting in the blazing sun all day without catching a single one. On his way home, he stopped at the supermarket and ordered four catfish. He told the fish salesman, "Pick four large ones out and throw them at me, will you?"
"Why do you want me to throw them at you?"
"Because I want to tell my wife that I caught them."
"Okay, but I suggest that you take the orange roughy."
"But why?"
"Because your wife came in earlier today and said that if you came by, I should tell you to take orange roughy. She prefers that for supper tonight."
"Why do you want me to throw them at you?"
"Because I want to tell my wife that I caught them."
"Okay, but I suggest that you take the orange roughy."
"But why?"
"Because your wife came in earlier today and said that if you came by, I should tell you to take orange roughy. She prefers that for supper tonight."
moreluck
golden ticket member
A boy was
watching his father, a pastor, write a sermon.
"How do you know what
to say?" he asked.
"Why, God tells me."
"Oh, then why do you keep
crossing things out?"
A little girl became restless
as the preacher's sermon dragged on and on.
Finally, she leaned over
to her mother and whispered,
"Mommy, if we give him the money now,
will he let us go?"
watching his father, a pastor, write a sermon.
"How do you know what
to say?" he asked.
"Why, God tells me."
"Oh, then why do you keep
crossing things out?"
A little girl became restless
as the preacher's sermon dragged on and on.
Finally, she leaned over
to her mother and whispered,
"Mommy, if we give him the money now,
will he let us go?"
moreluck
golden ticket member
A couple was sitting in the park.
Two dogs that were romping on the grass started to lick each other's faces.
The girl said, "They look like they're kissing."
The boy replied. "If you wouldn't mind, I think I'd like to give that a try."
The girl said, "I don't mind, but I'd be careful. The big white dog looks like it could be dangerous."
Two dogs that were romping on the grass started to lick each other's faces.
The girl said, "They look like they're kissing."
The boy replied. "If you wouldn't mind, I think I'd like to give that a try."
The girl said, "I don't mind, but I'd be careful. The big white dog looks like it could be dangerous."
moreluck
golden ticket member
A young woman is widowed after
A young woman is widowed after only a few years of marriage, and it is not long before her friends begin to ask her if she is thinking of marrying again.
"Right now, no," the young woman answers. "I've hardly begun to enjoy using the remote.
A young woman is widowed after only a few years of marriage, and it is not long before her friends begin to ask her if she is thinking of marrying again.
"Right now, no," the young woman answers. "I've hardly begun to enjoy using the remote.
moreluck
golden ticket member
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
Is there another word for synonym?
Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do 'practice?'
When you open a bag of cotton balls, is the top one meant to be removed?
Where do forest rangers go to 'get away from it all?'
What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
Is there another word for synonym?
Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do 'practice?'
When you open a bag of cotton balls, is the top one meant to be removed?
Where do forest rangers go to 'get away from it all?'
What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
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