One liners, short jokes, funny sayings, puns, etal

[oldngray]

 

[moreluck]

What do you call a blonde with half a brain? Gifted!

 

[moreluck]

 

[moreluck]

Little Johnny wasn't very good at spelling. During an oral
spelling exam, the teacher wrote the word "new" on the
blackboard. "Now," she asked Johnny, "what word would we
have if we placed a "K" in the front?"
After a moment's reflection, Johnny said, "Canoe?"

 

[moreluck]

 

[oldngray]

 

[moreluck]

“The athlete claimed he long jumped over 25 feet. Actually his best jump only measured 23 feet. This was a clear case of leap fraud.”

 

[oldngray]

 

[moreluck]

Q. What did the digital clock say to the analog clock?
A. Look, No hands!

 

[moreluck]

I saw two kids fighting the other day, and as a mature and responsible adult, I had to step in. They didn't stand a chance.

 

[oldngray]

 

[moreluck]

"Teaching your slinky new tricks is like spring training.”

 

[moreluck]

 

[moreluck]

 

[oldngray]

 

[moreluck]

What did the mining equipment salesman use as his slogan? "But wait, there's ore!'”

 

[moreluck]

 

[oldngray]

 

[moreluck]

Q: What's the difference between the government and the Mafia?
A: One of them is organized.

 

[moreluck]

Teacher: Now, you must not say, “I ain’t goin’.” You should say, “I am not going, he is not going; we are not going; they are not going.”
Student: Wow! Ain’t nobody goin’ then?