What advice would you give somebody just starting out at UPS?

[BlackFriday]

just poop in a rain bag and don’t try to hold it...

I've been hitting the power line break, through the woods, almost daily. In truth, I've got a separate route, along my delivery route, just for my personal spoor trail. If I feel a deuce crowning I'm not holding back too long any more. I'll hit one of my favorites and clip that bitch off toot sweet. We all need to know our limitations IYKWIM.
Here is a piece of awesome advice :
When the turtle head starts popping out, and you endeavor to relieve yourself in a convenient port-a-john, ALWAYS make sure there is paper on the roll. DO NOT make a splash before confirming this. Don't ask how I know this. Lastly, always steal a roll from a bathroom for the vehicle. Paper towels are SO low class

 

[Captain Qwark]

I've been hitting the power line break, through the woods, almost daily. In truth, I've got a separate route, along my delivery route, just for my personal spoor trail. If I feel a deuce crowning I'm not holding back too long any more. I'll hit one of my favorites and clip that bitch off toot sweet. We all need to know our limitations IYKWIM.
Here is a piece of awesome advice :
When the turtle head starts popping out, and you endeavor to relieve yourself in a convenient port-a-john, ALWAYS make sure there is paper on the roll. DO NOT make a splash before confirming this. Don't ask how I know this. Lastly, always steal a roll from a bathroom for the vehicle. Paper towels are SO low class

#TMI!!!!!!!!!

GROSS!!!!

 

[Gotta Go]

Pick your battles carefully and max out your 401k.

 

[PASinterference]

just poop in a rain bag and don’t try to hold it...

I'll drive to a restroom like a human.

 

[PASinterference]

I've been hitting the power line break, through the woods, almost daily. In truth, I've got a separate route, along my delivery route, just for my personal spoor trail. If I feel a deuce crowning I'm not holding back too long any more. I'll hit one of my favorites and clip that bitch off toot sweet. We all need to know our limitations IYKWIM.
Here is a piece of awesome advice :
When the turtle head starts popping out, and you endeavor to relieve yourself in a convenient port-a-john, ALWAYS make sure there is paper on the roll. DO NOT make a splash before confirming this. Don't ask how I know this. Lastly, always steal a roll from a bathroom for the vehicle. Paper towels are SO low class

Show a little dignity and go to a restroom like a human. Are you 10 and can't control your damn bowel movements? I swear ups is full of a bunch of damn yard dogs that wherever, whenever. SMH Wear a damn diaper.

 

[MECH-lift]

I'll drive to a restroom like a human.

Ok so you gotta take a dump so bad and you break off 10 miles to use restroom and the restroom is closed. Next restroom an hour away. What do you do?

 

[MECH-lift]

Pick your battles carefully and max out your 401k.

401k dropping!!

 

[Red Devil]

Ok so you gotta take a dump so bad and you break off 10 miles to use restroom and the restroom is closed. Next restroom an hour away. What do you do?

What are you eating that you just uncontrollably all the time?

 

[MECH-lift]

What are you eating that you just uncontrollably all the time?

Hot peppers , Taco Bell , orange juice , franks red hot on burritos. I poop 4 times before noon no way I can break off that many times.

 

[PPH_over_9000]

I poop 4 times before noon no way I can break off that many times.

So I don't mean to get too intrusive, but are these 4 separate poos? Because occasionally I'll have the bell for rounds 2-3 ding right after pulling up my pants, but I still consider that one poop.

You might have some gastro issues, is what I'm getting at.

 

[PASinterference]

Ok so you gotta take a dump so bad and you break off 10 miles to use restroom and the restroom is closed. Next restroom an hour away. What do you do?

I guess I would move to San Francisco.

 

[PASinterference]

Ok so you gotta take a dump so bad and you break off 10 miles to use restroom and the restroom is closed. Next restroom an hour away. What do you do?

I guess I would move to San Francisco.

 

[Buffet Master]

Man up and drop a freshie on a customers porch.

 

[BlackFriday]

Show a little dignity and go to a restroom like a human. Are you 10 and can't control your damn bowel movements? I swear ups is full of a bunch of damn yard dogs that wherever, whenever. SMH Wear a damn diaper.

I bet your the type to iron your underwear, have sex between sheets and think farts aren't funny . Live it up for once and drop a deuce the wild way. Then brag about it.

What are you eating that you just uncontrollably all the time?

Yomomma

Hot peppers , Taco Bell , orange juice , franks red hot on burritos. I poop 4 times before noon no way I can break off that many times.

100

So I don't mean to get too intrusive, but are these 4 separate poos? Because occasionally I'll have the bell for rounds 2-3 ding right after pulling up my pants, but I still consider that one poop.

You might have some gastro issues, is what I'm getting at.

Semantics . Do we also start counting segments?
To be serious , which I hate to do given the subject "matter", it's the ibuprofen for me. Four of them in the AM and I walking Italian thunderbolt. Yesterday I hit the woods and sat against the front bumper. The ensuing process sent my car backward 300 yards and I was left sitting in the leaves. NOT good.

I guess I would move to San Francisco.

Now that's what I like. Solutions instead of problems

Man up and drop a freshie on a customers porch.

"freshie". I'll be using that one. Thanks

 

[Captain Qwark]

I've been hitting the power line break, through the woods, almost daily. In truth, I've got a separate route, along my delivery route, just for my personal spoor trail. If I feel a deuce crowning I'm not holding back too long any more. I'll hit one of my favorites and clip that bitch off toot sweet. We all need to know our limitations IYKWIM.
Here is a piece of awesome advice :
When the turtle head starts popping out, and you endeavor to relieve yourself in a convenient port-a-john, ALWAYS make sure there is paper on the roll. DO NOT make a splash before confirming this. Don't ask how I know this. Lastly, always steal a roll from a bathroom for the vehicle. Paper towels are SO low class

Hot peppers , Taco Bell , orange juice , franks red hot on burritos. I poop 4 times before noon no way I can break off that many times.

So I don't mean to get too intrusive, but are these 4 separate poos? Because occasionally I'll have the bell for rounds 2-3 ding right after pulling up my pants, but I still consider that one poop.

You might have some gastro issues, is what I'm getting at.

Man up and drop a freshie on a customers porch.

How about starting a Romper Room thread where you juveniles can go discuss your bodily functions over there? Thank you, thank you for your fascinating comments! Oi vey.

 

[PPH_over_9000]

How about starting a Romper Room thread where you juveniles can go discuss your bodily functions over there? Thank you, thank you for your fascinating comments! Oi vey.

I don't know, man, this is more of a spontaneous kind of discussion. It loses its magic when you structure it.

 

[quad decade guy]

It depends.

What job did they start with?

Why are they there? What are their life goals?

If it's clear they are there to help with college, not much to say. They'll be gone soon. Easy come easy go.

If I had it all to do over again.....would have done all I could to get into Mgt.

As awful as that seems.....(for me) my retirement would have been exponentially better. By a bunch. This is based on how it used to be. I would have also worked toward getting a cushy PE gig or Aviation job(in Mgt.)(To get away from "operations").

To be clear: I WOULD NEVER BE IN OPERATIONS(PKG, FDR).(MGT). I'm way to honest and fair.

If looking for a career: Sign every bid sheet up. Every time. The opportunities for advancement will come. Be prepared to work nights the rest of your career in FDR. Pkg never changes. It is the worst, thankless job at UPS. Long hours and miserable work. Gets old real quick.

 

[Gabba]

get an appointment calendar and write down notes about the days you work. the weather, you had to go help someone, bulk stops, iregs, late air trailer, whatever. sooner or later you're going to get pulled into the office and questioned about something and if all you have is your hazy memory, they'll feel free to make up baloney and forget all their screwups that were the actual reason for the problem they think you're causing.

 

[burrheadd]

How about starting a Romper Room thread where you juveniles can go discuss your bodily functions over there? Thank you, thank you for your fascinating comments! Oi vey.

 

[Red Devil]

If you have the right mindset it is a great job. The wrong mindset and you will want to blow your brains out.